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Help with my long distance relationship.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay, I'm new on here sooo.. not sure if I'm going to get many posts!
I'm 17, and been with my boyfriend, 16, for nearly 2 years.
Our relationship has been usually great, but you know, no relationship is perfect. I found out the day after my birthday he was moving to Australia within a few months.. so I was pretty upset. He left 3 weeks ago, and since then I've been really depressed - I don't leave the house that often, I rarely eat, I've been smoking a lot of weed than I usually do (4-8 spliffs a day) and just trancing myself out so I can just forget about all my sadness. I know it sounds lame because I'm only 17 but he's my best friend and we've been friends for a pretty long time previous to our relationship, and he's been there for me throughout a lot.
The time difference is the worst. It's now nearly 10 at night here (Cardiff) and over there now it's nearly 8 in the morning. So he should be on msn or ringing me soonish. But we will speak to eachother for half an hour at the most before he has to go (on a weekday he can't ring me at this time because he's at school), and then I usually speak to him in the morning for half an hour. So an hour at the most of speaking to him... it's a lot different compared to how we were together ALL THE TIME. It's frustrating!
So what I'm getting at is... do you think this heartache is worth it? My mind is really confused and burnt out from trying to decide. I love him to pieces - we've had so many memories together, and I should be going over there to see him in the summer for a month! But because we are so young, I'm not sure where I'm going to be in the future and what I will be doing, and it's the same with him. He's not sure if he's going to stay with his family, or go elsewhere when he's got his perminent visa!
Any advice, any comments would really help.
Thanks x
I'm 17, and been with my boyfriend, 16, for nearly 2 years.
Our relationship has been usually great, but you know, no relationship is perfect. I found out the day after my birthday he was moving to Australia within a few months.. so I was pretty upset. He left 3 weeks ago, and since then I've been really depressed - I don't leave the house that often, I rarely eat, I've been smoking a lot of weed than I usually do (4-8 spliffs a day) and just trancing myself out so I can just forget about all my sadness. I know it sounds lame because I'm only 17 but he's my best friend and we've been friends for a pretty long time previous to our relationship, and he's been there for me throughout a lot.
The time difference is the worst. It's now nearly 10 at night here (Cardiff) and over there now it's nearly 8 in the morning. So he should be on msn or ringing me soonish. But we will speak to eachother for half an hour at the most before he has to go (on a weekday he can't ring me at this time because he's at school), and then I usually speak to him in the morning for half an hour. So an hour at the most of speaking to him... it's a lot different compared to how we were together ALL THE TIME. It's frustrating!
So what I'm getting at is... do you think this heartache is worth it? My mind is really confused and burnt out from trying to decide. I love him to pieces - we've had so many memories together, and I should be going over there to see him in the summer for a month! But because we are so young, I'm not sure where I'm going to be in the future and what I will be doing, and it's the same with him. He's not sure if he's going to stay with his family, or go elsewhere when he's got his perminent visa!
Any advice, any comments would really help.
Thanks x
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Comments
I think it is because look how you have reacted to his departure. Naturally you've gone into shock thinking, oh my fucking god, my best friend, my boyfriend of two years has gone to the other side of the world. No wonder you feel so alone. That is a massive readjustment to make; both mentally and emotionally to move on in everyday life and physically to keep going in everyday life. Not to say your moving on from him.
I would say if your heart aches enough for him then he is worth it. Only your heart will be able to tell you so listen to it - although it seems like its shouting out to you.
BUT then you need to move on, get back to normal, count down the days till you can go spend a precious full month with him over there. Until then, don't beat yourself up and ruin your body over something which is out of your control.
Eat. Don't smoke the weed. Go out.
Listen to yourself, and read your post back over.
Best of luck x x
Genuinely, I think you're lovesick and missing him. You're seeing him soon and I think you'll gather your feelings after that. You are young but don't feel like you have to plan the future now, even if you decide to stick with the relationship, it may meet a natural ending another time. Why don't you visit him and guage how it feels afterwards. If you feel empty and like you have nothing to hold onto, then at least you'll know it's founded. If you try and decide now you'll only put yourself through more stress when you may just be confused because you're going through it at the moment.