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I feel empty
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
If you've read previous posts of mine you know what im gona write here probably. Its currently 3:36 am on boxing day, im not tired.
I tried to spread some xmas cheer this year by buying people some presents and things but all i got back was no one caring or saying thanks or horrible text messages telling me i had wasted my time.
I bought my ex some nice stuff but she seemed ungreatful and now hates me cos i wrote a letter telling her how i feel about her still and how crappy my life is and so on.
shes now text back saying i shouldnt have written it cos i knew she'd hate me for it and shes gona throw it away after she read it, shes happy and loves her bf and i should get over it.
but i cant, its not a switch, i have no friends, no girls like me and at a club last month 3 girls said i was creepy.
Right now i just wana die, i dont wana cut my wrists or take lots of pills or anything, i just wana close my eyes and be dead. I feel cold, yet warm, sad yet emotionless. think i might stay awake all night long or something. i just wish my ex understood how it feels to be me, how much i miss her, how much she broke my heart and how i got no friends, lost my job before xmas and have absolutly nothing to live for. i duno what to do either, everything i do is wrong, i just wana be dead. i miss my ex so much but i cant get over her as i love her so much and no one else even wants to know me anyways.
Im not asking for advice really just wana let my feelings out, cos i sit here for hours on end reading stuff but never open my mouth or ever have any body to say how im feeling too either.
I met my ex on this board here which was great but also horrible as now ive been with her i feel so horrible and miserable and everything has gone wrong since she got rid of me over a year ago. I just feel so empty like i could walk through walls or float in the air if i feel, i got no emotion and i wana be dead. And theres nothing i can do about it cos i dont fit in in this world, im always an out cast and not liked. I try to act nice around people but inside im full of sadness cos i have no one to say how i feel to or have anyone care and no one likes me anyways. I just wana be dead.
I tried to spread some xmas cheer this year by buying people some presents and things but all i got back was no one caring or saying thanks or horrible text messages telling me i had wasted my time.
I bought my ex some nice stuff but she seemed ungreatful and now hates me cos i wrote a letter telling her how i feel about her still and how crappy my life is and so on.
shes now text back saying i shouldnt have written it cos i knew she'd hate me for it and shes gona throw it away after she read it, shes happy and loves her bf and i should get over it.
but i cant, its not a switch, i have no friends, no girls like me and at a club last month 3 girls said i was creepy.
Right now i just wana die, i dont wana cut my wrists or take lots of pills or anything, i just wana close my eyes and be dead. I feel cold, yet warm, sad yet emotionless. think i might stay awake all night long or something. i just wish my ex understood how it feels to be me, how much i miss her, how much she broke my heart and how i got no friends, lost my job before xmas and have absolutly nothing to live for. i duno what to do either, everything i do is wrong, i just wana be dead. i miss my ex so much but i cant get over her as i love her so much and no one else even wants to know me anyways.
Im not asking for advice really just wana let my feelings out, cos i sit here for hours on end reading stuff but never open my mouth or ever have any body to say how im feeling too either.
I met my ex on this board here which was great but also horrible as now ive been with her i feel so horrible and miserable and everything has gone wrong since she got rid of me over a year ago. I just feel so empty like i could walk through walls or float in the air if i feel, i got no emotion and i wana be dead. And theres nothing i can do about it cos i dont fit in in this world, im always an out cast and not liked. I try to act nice around people but inside im full of sadness cos i have no one to say how i feel to or have anyone care and no one likes me anyways. I just wana be dead.
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Comments
why would you wish such misery on her?
it's over ...been over a long while so move on ...find a way.
you don't sound very popular with people ...people saying your a creep and stuff ...you need to find out why people percieve you this way.
are you false?
are you trying to hard?
are you interested in others or more interested in how you feel ...what you get back etc.
you may well need proffesional counseling.
you sound to me like you are lacking in social skills ...the skills others take for granted.
are you trying to impress people?
and a hug
You're not an out cast just different like all of us and somewhere out there there are people who will like you for you. You got to learn to like yourself though and thats the tricky bit
start over again, forget your past... don't feel sorry for yourself, it's not worthy... it's a waste of feeling... rest till 1st january and then fight...
what if the only jog is cleaning the road? do it! it's a start
you have to work hard... this is real world, not a fairy tale... this is not perfect...
and hey! be optimist...
Hey neo.....
sounds like you need a great big hug so i am gonna give you a cyber hug *hug*! you said that people class you as an outcast. you are way to hard on yourself neo. dont make assumptions that arent true. it sounds like it would benefit you so much just to talk to someone. Your feelings are just as important and valid as anybody elses and you need to stop putting your lovely self down so much. I remember someone once told me, how can you expect someone else to love you if you do not love yourself and its so true. you need to try to start thinking positively. I mean it sounds like you are such a sensitive person and that in itself is such a lovely quality. You need to stop lookin at your negatives and start focusing on all those positives of which i am sure there are loads....
your ex is just one person out of the millions of people that are on this earth. ok so it didnt work out in your favour, but there are so many other people out there, you just have to find them and how do you know that someone isnt already out there waiting for someone like you to walk into their lives
Why would i wish such misery on her? I dont, i just want her to see how it is for me, it isnt perfect like it is for her where she gets rid of me for another guy, all her friends start liking her again and everything is great, for me its the total opposite and she doesnt understand that and how everything that can go wrong does go wrong for me. But she'd rather not listen as her life is great and she had great fun lying to me saying she'd always be my friend and cheer me up.
Move on? See you cant even tell me how. I dont know why girls say im creepy or werid, they just say it and if i ask why they wont tell me or come out with a load of bullshit. I only try and be nice to people rather than most of the dicks that live in my area who are so shallow and selfish and wrong. I care about others more than myself, i even bought a load of xmas presents and took them around to people who dont really talk to me anymore and i duno why but all i got back was a text message saying 'that was a complete waste of time' from one of them and not even a thanks from anyone else.
Im not trying to impress people, i got nothing to impress them with, just most the guys and girls where i live are so shallow and caught up on looks and look down at you if you wear different clothing or dont look like an identikit chav scum.
And there may be millions of girls out there but none of them are interested in me, all i get is 'i dont want a bf' or 'your too nice' or 'your not my type' and then days later they have a bf and get engaged to them a month or two later saying how much they love them and they was telling me the truth which is a load of bull. No girls ever tell me the truth, its always just lies to make me 'feel better' but i know its a lie as its always proven to be a lie.
What ever i do is wrong, i bought people nice xmas gifts, i dont have a lot of money yet i still get moaned for doing that
Why don't you focus on getting new friends before you go out trying to pull girls? Try and keep things simple rather than trying to do too many things at once.
Speaking from experience of your exes position, when people you've dumped go slightly schizo on you, it makes you feel REALLY uncomfortable. you do end up hating the person you've dumped simply cos they're always about. Even if they're not being threatening. hence, she most likely didnt want a present from you. it'll remind her that she hurt you, it'll remind her that you're not over her- which will be stressful for her.
You have to accept that she doesn't like you. And whatever you do, she never will. She's made her decision. Now you have to make yours. Dwell and languish, waste away. Or move on and start getting a new life.
You mentioned that noone could say how to move on? that's cos it is different for everybody. and it is difficult, yes. but here are some pointers:
-Get out of any situation where you see your ex.
-Take a break from your everyday life- for example, book a wee holiday or something. Go on a singles activity holiday on your own if needs be- altho there must be at least one solid friend that would like to go with you. it doesnt have to be expensive, just some time away.
-Expand your social horizons. join a hobby club. dont bother searching and searching for girls, that's not the way to move on. keep your eye out, but dont continually worry about it. be happy being single! be content. then everything will come to you. and yes it may take a while.
-When you do meet a girl, dont go heavy. be friendly, be flirty, be fun. but dont mention your ex, and dont go too heavy on them immediately.
some of this is assuming how you could act, but i dont mean it nastily.
Chin up!
it's over ...she DOESN'T want to know ...has no need to understand.
why do you think she needs to understand something she's not interested in?
what the hell do you hope to prove or achieve by trying to force her into understanding you and your situation ...which she is no longer involved in or interested in?
There are so many people out there who are deep and caring
Yes, and most women describe them as creepy and strange.
I know what you're talking about Neo. You really gotta take some time off to pull yourself together and get some things in perspective. It must feel like you've been hit in the gut with a howitzer and you have no idea how or why you're still alive.
Trust me, take some time off of thinking about your ex. maybe hang with some friends, watch some movies, play some games, or take a walk. All it takes is time.
STOP
It's over...
move on...
it's time now...
I know I've been through this with you lots on msn after meeting you on here and I think it was a really good idea that you put up a post on here because people are telling you the same things that I've been telling you and more stuff that's really helpful. You say people find you creepy and maybe asking them why might get you an answer but also think what meeting you would be like and maybe you'd find where the 'creepyness' stems from. I've found you to be sweet and honest. I sent you 4/5 jam packed emails as I recall because I could relate to your situation but feel like the next step on from your current situation (in the sense that I fell into a horrific depression after a split with my ex which I was still in a year on but now I'm perky and happy). Blokes didn't have the slightest bit of interest in me whilst I was depressed and friends found it hard to speak to and relate to me because they couldn't either fathom what was wrong, or do anything productive about it, people started noticing me when I pulled myself out - must give off a vibe or something but I also know springing onto a new partner whilst that unhappy wouldn't have been good for either of us.
Your letters, your texts...everything - your ex KNOWS you feel depressed, knows your sad, that she's ruined your life etc...and she was thankful for your xmas gifts and even gave you one (despite it being something you already had). Your old friends don't want to know anymore - why try for people who are a waste of your time? Why try for your ex who has moved on? Stop?! I've already told you - think about you, the things (apart from gf's who you don't need to have untill you find someone worth it) that make you happy or make your life more fulfilling. Your ex being apart of your life won't make you happy because in your mind you know you'll be thinking "maybe there's still a chance, maybe I can win her back" you won't. I suggested thinking about a new job that's attainable. You are very talented and capable and could easily do very well. You don't like the area you're in - move as soon as your bank balance will allow.
Professional help was a suggestion made on here and I've made it before. You may see it as mindlessly talking to someone who doesn't give two cookies but if you talk to some people on here who have been through proper counselling and help, I'm sure you begin to realise there are beneficial results from it which could easily do you the world of good. You've got to stop looking at the world as though everyone else dictates your happiness - your old friends and your ex. These people are the source of your UNHAPPINESS, the only way you're gonna pull yourself out is if you start actively doing something about it instead of blowing off every suggestion and idea with a spiteful reflection of how the world is made up of an immense amount of assholes and how everyone in it has their own personal vendetta against you.
Do Something About It.
Stace xxx
Yes, there is sympathy. However, sometimes its not really lots of fawning and hugs that people need. nobody here has been nasty, just firm.
what this lad needs is good advice. Good, solid advice, and not fawning. Or a good kick up the butt, to get him back on track.
We all need it sometimes. It may seem harsh, but tbh it's not really.
Breakups are hard enough, without having to then watch your ex get back on with life as if nothing has happened - I can empathise. When I broke up with my boyfriend of two years, the thought of him being happy irritated me... yet at the same time, the thought of him being as miserable as me upset me just as much.
I think the key to it is to understand and accept that the relationship is over. You need to get your head around the possibility that you may never get back together - until you have done that, you wont be able to move on, and this will make it harder for you to be happy, for yourself and for your ex. To make you feel better though, I must just add... your ex may look like she's getting on with her life again, almost immediately, and that nothing seems to be upsetting her... but we all deal with things like this differently. My ex and I are still very close friends, and we've talked about what we each went through after our breakup - he hid his pain a lot better than I did... so well, in fact, that I thought he didn't miss me at all. But I know now that he did. Perhaps you need to show a bit more consideration for your ex, and give her some space? This will probably help you, too, even though it will be hard at first.
Good luck to you. You're bound to feel pretty rotten and anti-social after something like this, so don't worry about making too much of an effort with the other people around you at the moment - I'm sure they'll understand what you're going through. When you're feeling better, you could then perhaps take a look at your life and see where you think it's going. Relationships will fall into place along the way.
Feel better. x
Your advice or sympathy, although had some use to it, shows you haven't thoroughly read this thread. Taking 'time off' from thinking about someone with such an impact is not easy. Hang with friends? Read, he says he hasn't any genuine friends and they're throwing his nice gestures back in his face. At least others are offering help and have read the thread. It's been a year...of watching movies, playing games, taking walks...they're not instant cures for depression. Before you criticise the lack of sympathy from others, I think the replies that have shown concern, advice and obviously some thought based on the information he gave, is more relevant then "*hugs*
Ooooo some people make me tetchy!!
Malt Munk xxx
i'm being realistic.
from experience.
maybe a little blunt but for a reason. i know there are many others who will do the poor you bit in good faith.
the reality is ...there is absolutely no way this girl will ever consider going back with this guy ...cos he is showing pain and loss.
she might just consider it ...if she saw a strong recovering and even thriving individual who is doing more than just standing on his own two feet and making all the right moves in life ...she would be awe struck at what a confident capable individual she walked out on.
yes ...i have actualy been where this guy is at at the moment.
it is devastatingly and excruciatingly hoplessly painfull.
man, that dude neonero is either dead or happily married by now. check the thread age next time.
Or neither! He's still about from time to time.
Welcome to TheSite sstrunks - feel free to start your own thread. Gonna close this one now.