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Can I vent? :)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey guys. I had a rant about my holiday a while back... and we've packed in the house because basically it was too expensive. So we're going camping again. All looks good, but I just feel sometimes I'm a bit less important than others. I was going to share a tent with 3 others and it was one communal tent and two of them were a couple, so I suggested getting a new tent thats a bit bigger that has different sleeping bays. If we spread the cost over everyone that was going it would be £5 each but make us 4 in that tent happy.

But I got told pretty much unequivicolly no as the other guys didn't think it was fair that they were using last years tents (with bays already in, so its 2 to a berth which works out well) and had to pay for a tent that us 4 would be using. But I said lets talk about it when I get home, and they said yea, so all looked good, and I was prepared to pay £40 towards the tent so they can divide the extra £15 between 9 of them, lol.

But after all that battling, the couple I'm staying with decided that they wanted privacy (which is fair enough) and straight away now we're looking for another pitch even though apparently the campsite was at capacity. If we don't get another pitch, they want me and the other single to sleep in the middle area (not actually in a berth) if that's ok, so the other couple can have a tent to themselves.

I get annoyed every year as the organiser is in a couple and gets little privelidges, but hell it's a holiday and it's fair dues. We pay a little extra for them relatively but nobody kicks up a fuss. But now there is another couple which is great and they want privacy which is fair, but I feel like I'm being pushed to the side in order to accomodate everyone else.

Now they are thinking of getting a new tent, but only so it fits me and the other in the middle. Why wouldn't they consider a new tent last night when I said I wasn't sure about four of us sharing one 4 man tent when two were a couple (for a week - it's only got one berth and normally we put two / three singles in it with space for bags and crap, four would be a squeeze).

I'm feeling really pissed off now my idea was dismissed last night when I was prepared to front most of the cost, and now today that it's a different person complaining (no hard feeling towards them at all) that loads of different solutions are being considered. It'll be a good holiday I'm sure but especially after the person who organises always gets the best place making me feel unimportant, now someone whose not even the organiser takes precedent...

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rite, so here's how she wants to do it, and I'm just going to stop talking to her in a min:

    She + her bf buy a new tent (even though they've got one, just want a new one)
    Other couple buy a tent (again, we've got one we could share, but fair enough)
    Then the rest of us between us have to organise and chip in to buy a tent for ourselves because the current tent isn't big enough.

    Now, there are a few issues here. First, we divide the total cost equally previously, so that would mean that 10 of us pay for the holidays, petrol, pitches, food you name it, even though that's not divided equally, thats fair enough. But as soon as the divide equally idea goes against the few, its suddenly we have to pay for the tent ourselves? Apparently, the justification for this is they're buying new tents for themselves so we should too - but we need a new tent as we've all been lumped together (despite paying the same amount) as the couples want privacy (thats fair, I just want a fair way of sorting it out). Their new tents are because the old ones are old, but we were perfectly happy to use our old tent, it's only because of excess people we cant.

    I know if I say that if they want to buy new tents thats fine, but since it's not a requirement they can foot their own cost (they'll keep them afterwards no doubt), and then the required new tent can be divided by everyone since we've worked on the principle before of everything needed for the holiday we will chip in together.

    It's not that I mind or can't pay, just feel like a doormat and that I'm second rate, when I pay the same - and I've felt like it before. Not going to argue tonight though because it's making me feel sad, I've had a pretty emotional day with exam results lol.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was in a similar situation on my hols, because the organizer took a 4 bed room with his g/f alone, while 5 peeps of us, had to sleep on the freezing attic. It was fine after the first night (because we did some insulating/heating the next night, and it was fine for the rest of the week).

    I was pissed at first, because we all pay the same, and they get a special treatment, but seeing that I wasn't really in disadvantage I just let it go down.

    IF you have to pay more, or have any other serious detriments: fuck them.
    If they want special service they should pay for it alone.

    /e: since both couples buy new tents, won't you have enough space if you divide the rest of you peeps (minus 2 couples), onto the two old tents of them? Or can't you use more than 3 tents?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    I was in a similar situation on my hols, because the organizer took a 4 bed room with his g/f alone, while 5 peeps of us, had to sleep on the freezing attic. It was fine after the first night (because we did some insulating/heating the next night, and it was fine for the rest of the week).

    I was pissed at first, because we all pay the same, and they get a special treatment, but seeing that I wasn't really in disadvantage I just let it go down.

    IF you have to pay more, or have any other serious detriments: fuck them.
    If they want special service they should pay for it alone.

    /e: since both couples buy new tents, won't you have enough space if you divide the rest of you peeps (minus 2 couples), onto the two old tents of them? Or can't you use more than 3 tents?

    Yea that's the problem, we've only got three pitches. I really don't mind 'mucking in' and sleeping with others, it just gets my back up if people are getting all their extra stuff paid for by the rest of us, especially when they turn round and say the rest of us have to sort out our sleeping arrangements because there's not enough space because they need private space. I mean, if push came to shove I would hope they'd give up their pitch for a bigger tent, they have no 'right' to their own tent since we all pay equally, but instead are asking all of us to go together. I wouldn't mind except it's being enforced rather than negotiated, well kind of. It's a 'would you mind if...'.

    I was quite annoyed because I'd suggested something similar but spread over all of us (again, it would literally be £5 each) as we have thus far worked on the principle that we all club in together. Like if we go shopping, we buy booze food for everyone, then if someone wants something like a bottle of premium lager / beer or whatever just for themselves they buy it themselves. This seems to be the case that they're buying their premium lager, and not pitching in for the standard drink for everyone. Because if they want to just pay for what they use, then fair enough, but they'll have to pay extra for their own pitch, their own car, and so on. In fact, they don't even have a car, just get lifts.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Yea that's the problem, we've only got three pitches. I really don't mind 'mucking in' and sleeping with others, it just gets my back up if people are getting all their extra stuff paid for by the rest of us, especially when they turn round and say the rest of us have to sort out our sleeping arrangements because there's not enough space because they need private space. I mean, if push came to shove I would hope they'd give up their pitch for a bigger tent, they have no 'right' to their own tent since we all pay equally, but instead are asking all of us to go together. I wouldn't mind except it's being enforced rather than negotiated, well kind of. It's a 'would you mind if...'.

    If you are not treated equally, you should not pay equally. People with special treatments should pay for them. Get their own pitch, so you can use two pitches/tents for the rest of you. All users of one pitch shall pay for them, so if they need their ass wiped with silk (i.e. use up a pitch with just 2 peeps), they will have to pay for their own pitch as two, whereas you can spread the costs among how much are sleeping in one of those remaining tents.

    Or is it not possible to get another pitch (or is it more expensive over getting a new tent with more capacity?)

    /e: if they are not paying for standard drinks, they won't have a single sip of those drinks. Can't be that big of a problem, you will just have to buy less for the remaining people.
    Getting lifts or owning the car shouldn't be much or a problem. The only solution that comes to mind is sharing the gas money and that should be equal for everyone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just sort it out. If a couple are getting a fancy new tent then common sense says that they should be paying for it, not everyone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    fucking hell, im glad my holidays aint this complicated, i'd be tempted to just tell them to stuff it and sort yourself plus whoever else out and meet them there.

    do you actually like these people, they seem to be being a bit of a pain in the arse just about a bloody camping trip. it'd do my head in

    whenever i've had to book/be involved in group holidays we just give all the cash to one person who then books it and thats that, owt extra that crops up you chip to, if they dont chip to, they dont get. simple as.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    fucking hell, im glad my holidays aint this complicated, i'd be tempted to just tell them to stuff it and sort yourself plus whoever else out and meet them there.

    do you actually like these people, they seem to be being a bit of a pain in the arse just about a bloody camping trip. it'd do my head in

    whenever i've had to book/be involved in group holidays we just give all the cash to one person who then books it and thats that, owt extra that crops up you chip to, if they dont chip to, they dont get. simple as.

    Yea that's what we did last year, we had tents and everything was sorted out equally. This year, one guy is bringing his gf (no prob at all) and they want their own tent like the other couple. Thats fair enough, but the other couple doesn't seem to realise that having their own tent is a priveledge, not a right. We've already booked it, all paid the same for the site, got enough tents to go around. I propose that we invest as a group in a larger tent so that the new couple and me and the other person had enough space, that was rejected by the organising couple as an unfair expense.

    Now, they've said that me and the other one if it's ok, can share the third tent with 4 people - problem being that its not got enough space for all of us, so the organiser has suggested we pitch in together and get a bigger tent.

    Whilst I can see why she thinks it's logical, its hardly fair if we've paid the same, to shove us out of one tent and into another where there isnt space for privacy's sake, and then suddenly start saying we'll have to pay for a bigger tent ourselves.

    I'll talk it over with them. Just annoyed because I feel a bit like an object, its supposed to be a great holiday but its more like they just want to go and be couply and we're tag alongs they'll move wherever. I suggested a fair solution that was dismissed... This was one of the tents I suggested getting - seems plenty of privacy for the couple?

    Anyway, I don't mind at all being in a big tent with others - if anything it'll be more fun than being stuck with a couple - but I do object to having to pay more than the couples because of them wanting to be on their own. If anything it should be the other way round but I don't mind really, as long as they pay an equal contribution or whatever.

    Luckystrike - me and said other pissed person are contemplating phoning the campsite and booking ourselves a pitch and taking a tent for ourselves :p would work out cheaper than paying for the couples + getting a new tent. Of course that throws up logistical issues (we've got the car :p and I've got a bike incase we're short on space in the cars), and would mean everyone else would end up paying more since the couples need to be subsidised more, if that makes sense? :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    man fuck them... privacy and paying less and probably complaining because you drive so fast and thus the car drinks too much fuel.

    I'd be disappointed if you give in, and let them have their way and pay more.

    How about you get another pitch, so you have 4?
    2 couples on two pitches, 2 more pitches and 2 unused tents. Sounds like a good deal, except if the pitches are expensive...

    anyway...wankers.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It seems like she's being stubborn on purpose, she just said we can't buy it between us because 'it will never work'. What?

    Whoever organises the cash (I've offered, but she says no :p even though I spend half my time organising money for a soc at uni, and the other half in lectures about finance lol) just needs to buy it and then afterwards either keep it or sell it and split the interim cost between everyone. Add this onto the final bill. It's that straight forward.

    She's just being a martyr and saying 'Ok ill pay for your tent out of my money even if i dont use it' and that she'll foot the bill. The site is full up. Why can't she just be reasonable and see my fair point, rather than having a huff?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is she a friend or what? weird people...

    make your own holidays with your friends and have fun. If my hols started out like such a hassle I'd rather stay at home and make a 10.000 pieces puzzle, that's more fun...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol im sure it'll be ok but she prefers to be left to it, gets a bit arsey if other people start fiddling. That works fine until someone says they don't like a bit... we've already had 1 drop out cos of it :( I'm not 'not' going to go because I really want to just chill out and have fish and chips with my friends in cromer on the beach. But I don't see why it's such a leap of faith to make sure everyone is comfortable, it's going to be 6 of us that are uncomfortable (we've all agreed that there isnt really enough space, especially with two girls who previously got privacy, they'd be crammed in shoulder to shoulder with guys (well it's not all bad for the first night ;) but after a week it's going to piss us all off not being able to roll over).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dude, I think I asked the same thing 3 times now :P

    you do have 2 more tents (just one remaining pitch, since both couples need one respectively). Isn't it possible to just rent one more pitch, NOT buy a new tent, and use the two tents to put the remaining non-couple people among those two tents?

    Or would that be too expensive, or summat?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    dude, I think I asked the same thing 3 times now :P

    you do have 2 more tents (just one remaining pitch, since both couples need one respectively). Isn't it possible to just rent one more pitch, NOT buy a new tent, and use the two tents to put the remaining non-couple people among those two tents?

    Or would that be too expensive, or summat?

    Oh sorry :p.

    We've got three pitches but the site is full up, and they wont let us pitch a fourth tent in the three pitches. She's done the 'walking away with dignity' thing and told me if I find the right tent for me - "even though nobody else has complained" (cos she hasnt told them lol, they think they're sharing between 4) - then she'll buy it because she just wants me to be happy.

    I don't know the word, but it's just so.. unconstructive. We have 10 people, 3 pitches. 3.33 people per tent. Or 3, 3, 4. Why couldn't we have the big tent with two couples in different berths? And two smaller tents with three people in each. Again, one tent (obviously, mine) would be two girls and a guy, haha. But there are easy ways to work it out and its the refusal to be flexible that's causing issues. She even justifies that the only reason she and her bf dont share is because other people have a problem with it??

    I said last night I wasn't sure about 2 sharing with a couple in a 4 man with just one berth since it would get crowded, she dismissed it, then they complained about privacy which is why I've been bumped into the big tent which is going to be full of everyones crap / groceries / car parts (lol).

    Just wish she'd be willing to talk things through with resorting to sensationalist ultimatum kind of things. Like if you say to a teenager they cant have extra potatos on their inner they stamp their feet and say fine they wont eat anything...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your way makes more sense as I can see, the 2-2, 3, 3, but your friend sounds like an arse. unlucky. Do remember to unpack one of her bags and forget to put it back in the car at the last minute, only realising after you've arrived at your destination. mwah ha ha ha
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    your way makes more sense as I can see, the 2-2, 3, 3, but your friend sounds like an arse. unlucky. Do remember to unpack one of her bags and forget to put it back in the car at the last minute, only realising after you've arrived at your destination. mwah ha ha ha

    haha, 'ooops'


    Well, shyboy. She let it look as if you are the little guy with his extra wishes who throws a tantrum, because he wants a new tent, etc.

    Like I said before, the people with their extra treatment should pay extra.
    All the people sharing ONE pitch shall pay for it. So you can divide your pitch through 4 or something, and the couples have to pay for one pitch divided by 2 (respectively).

    Don't pay for other peoples special treatment.
    btw. talk to those non-couple-people and get more "allies"... so it doesn't look like you are the troublemaker.

    don't worry in the end, the couples are probably boring, sitting on the riverside, whispering vomit-inducing things in each other ears, and you'll gonna have parties and gang bangs and liquor, and roasted marshmallows and strip poker, and spin the bottle, and skinny dipping, and and and...
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