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just blah

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i saw my friends tonight but again i wimped out of telling them how i was feeling. i made an appointment with the counseller on site and its early tomorrow morning. also rang my mum while i was crying and she told me she couldnt deal with this right now so i hung up. i know im being childish by relying on my mum but i dont know how to deal with this myself. i feel ashamed at having to turn to professional services yet again
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I found out that next year I'm gonna have to find somewhere random to live because everyone else has already sorted out groups they're being in for accomodation.

    I asked someone about a week ago when I got back - a week last sunday in fact. They said noone had really sorted it yet so not to worry. Then I'm busy with exams and can't go out, seems most people are enjoying the first week cos they only have 1 exam, but then comes to today and people are sorted, 3 groups:
    6 guys - signed the lease
    4 girls - best mates who were gonna go together anyway
    5 other mixed group - but just squeezed another girl on from another floor cos she had noone to live with, and not enough space for me

    i dont really know anyone else, thats everyone all wrapped up neatly. Sometimes I think I'm naturally unlucky. I mean, first year at uni, they put me in accomodation where I wasn't with other freshers, just nursing students (cos they were short on accomodation). Second year, they said they'd put me on campus in may when i took a leave of absence but then said they were short and I wasn't guarunteed a place, told about 2 weeks before to look for somewhere private i kicked up a fuss - they told me 4 days before i had a place - it was the other side of town in a fairly run down room above a shop with no phone / internet / etc just a kitchen, bathroom and room.

    I complained to the college administrator who took plight with my cause, the student support was great making sure I got involved but it didn't matter because everyone else was connecting with people on their floor, not the random. A week later I got a place on a block, met everoyne, started making friends with them and got on well. But I don't think I made best friends with anyone because they already knew each other before. I dunno.

    Just seems like a slap in the face they'd organise accomodation without me, but I can't blame them I guess.

    Every time I try so hard with uni but it just doesn't seem to come through for me does it?

    Sorry for the rant. *deep breath*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hated uni with a passion too, when I slipped into some kind of depression-like period. And I'd still hate it if I wouldn't meet those people I like and socialize with every day. Get invited to parties by them, exchange notes and materials with them. Work with them in the labs, etc. Being all alone in uni is probably on of the worst things.

    uni is 80% people, 20% studying for me.


    Speaking of your depression, which might not just be completely settled, or your self-entitled shyness and social anxiety might not be the best attributes to enjoy the university years.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my lack of confidence, depression (which i thought i was pretty much over) and shyness doesn't help.

    i do talk to people inside class sometimes off my own back too..i just fake being chatty and smiley. i have friends here too but im still unhappy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my lack of confidence, depression (which i thought i was pretty much over) and shyness doesn't help.

    i do talk to people inside class sometimes off my own back too..i just fake being chatty and smiley. i have friends here too but im still unhappy

    welcome to the wonderful world of depression, where unhappiness doesn't need a reason.

    I feel for ya. When I finished my first semester (by doing NOTHING!... you might remember that I started in summer semester, so basically second semester: worst_decision_ever.), I spent the day on my couch in fetal position saying to myself that I don't want to do anything else than being a paramedic my whole life long (just before I entered uni, I finished civil service. I worked as a paramedic for 12 months).

    I pulled myself together and entered uni again.

    I am very doubtful about psychotherapy. It helped loads for a friend of mine, but I'm still so doubtful about the remedy for the mind. Don't be so closed-minded as me and do get (good!) professional help. I probably never had depressions and I'm happy about it. You need to get that sorted out.

    It's a tough way, but as long as you keep in mind: I am in treatment, I'm going to be better, I feel the good progress, etc...

    I am proud of you that you did not give up yet and that you still do a lot of work and are hard-working. (I just lost my child support money, because I am doing too little... it's gonna be a real busy semester).

    you're a strong gal, you know that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks matthias :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I must confess something. Having read up your various threads about university in the last couple of months, I sometimes find myself asking "why is she doing this?". The fact that you're still at university now, after the Christmas holidays for a second term, suggests that something is keeping you there. Reading this thread, I can see a few things, although it's for you to decide what the main factor is. Give this counselling a shot - you've nothing by lose by trying it, after all. See how you feel after that. It may yet bring you some new perspectives. You're a much stronger woman than you give yourself credit for.

    Also, please allow me to second the absolutely exemplary post from **Helen** earlier.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Counselling can't help me because I'm already in CBT. She fobbed me off with reccomendations of books and going to the nurse for a cup of tea
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    learn (or study) german and study in austria ;) You'll save a LOT of money. Maybe it's just the system in the UK that causes that problems (as more people in this subforum seem to be down about uni).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Maybe it's just the system in the UK that causes that problems (as more people in this subforum seem to be down about uni).
    It's very hard to tell. Most people whom I talk to about this just complain the holidays at university are too long. For example, my sister finished the first term on December 14th, and lessons don't resume for her until January 28th, although she's got an exam this morning. I don't know if that's typical of universities, but I certainly wouldn't like a holiday that approaches nearly six weeks. Perhaps the long holidays leave students bored and asking "why am I doing this", I don't know.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    It's very hard to tell. Most people whom I talk to about this just complain the holidays at university are too long. For example, my sister finished the first term on December 14th, and lessons don't resume for her until January 28th, although she's got an exam this morning. I don't know if that's typical of universities, but I certainly wouldn't like a holiday that approaches nearly six weeks. Perhaps the long holidays leave students bored and asking "why am I doing this", I don't know.

    :yes: I always found the Christmas to Feb part of university (or lack of university) to be a slog. In fact, I have really vivid memories of it from my first year - which is going back about a million years ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    It's very hard to tell. Most people whom I talk to about this just complain the holidays at university are too long. For example, my sister finished the first term on December 14th, and lessons don't resume for her until January 28th, although she's got an exam this morning. I don't know if that's typical of universities, but I certainly wouldn't like a holiday that approaches nearly six weeks. Perhaps the long holidays leave students bored and asking "why am I doing this", I don't know.

    yea, I see that...
    In austria you have ( so i think ) even more holidays.
    I have 15th dec to 7th january off. 1st feb to 1st march. 1 or 2 week at eastern, 3 or 4 days at pfingsten (holidays in austria).

    and 3 full fucking months, July, august and september, so I have nearly half the year off.
    I WOULD need the time for revising for exams, but in the holidays I'm just too bum lazy. In summer I always look for a job.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    It's very hard to tell. Most people whom I talk to about this just complain the holidays at university are too long. For example, my sister finished the first term on December 14th, and lessons don't resume for her until January 28th, although she's got an exam this morning. I don't know if that's typical of universities, but I certainly wouldn't like a holiday that approaches nearly six weeks. Perhaps the long holidays leave students bored and asking "why am I doing this", I don't know.
    I had that too. Except my exam was a week ago.

    So I just came back home. Because otherwise I would be bored stiff in my flat doing not-very-much and getting fat. Instead I came home to work and earn a bit more money.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for your reply but im currently working on it now, things seem to be a little bit better :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know exactly how you feel. I hate university and literally count down the days till I can go back home again. The only thing that keeps me here is the thought I'll come out with a good degree.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hybrid wrote: »
    I know exactly how you feel. I hate university and literally count down the days till I can go back home again. The only thing that keeps me here is the thought I'll come out with a good degree.

    what year are you in? i'm still in first and next year i'm moving into a house with two of my friends in the area..i think living at halls and being on main campus i don't feel at home..it's hard to distinguish between being comfortable in your room and being on uni grounds..to me anyway
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what year are you in? i'm still in first and next year i'm moving into a house with two of my friends in the area..i think living at halls and being on main campus i don't feel at home..it's hard to distinguish between being comfortable in your room and being on uni grounds..to me anyway


    Yeah I get what you mean, with me we get accomodation for the 3 years of our course so I'm always 'on uni groudns' :-/ you're quite lucky to have found some people you want to move in with though.

    I'm in second year, halfway through (thank god) and just can't stand it here. It has seriously depressed me so much being here, that even when I get home for holidays I spend the last week being depressed about coming back.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What could you do to make it better?

    I thought about that, then fudged around with doing the solution, then went hell-for-leather fixing that one thing I thought of. Uni still ain't great, I don't do a little tap dance on my way in but... it is better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    definitely getting the support i need for my dyslexia and dyspraxia..it is just taking forever!! the whole process of applying for extra support is so long..it's stupid.
    also 'immersing' myself in my studies..eww!! :razz:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what can you do to speed up the process? I've found daily visits in person followed by progress calls speeds things up.
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