Home Sex & Relationships

Premature Ejaculation...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've only really started having sex with my current girlfriend and what a task it has been, i've actually started dreading it because i cum that fast, i've always came quite quickly with other partners but now its literally in seconds...

we usually have to get it out the way once, wait around 15 minutes and i am usually ready again and seem to be able to last but its not the same and end up losing my erection after a while.

I was just wondering if anyone else has suffered from it? how you over come it and controlled things, i've ordered off durex some condoms that apparently help, are there any other products i can order???

any help appreciated:thumb:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i get this all the time, when i met my gf i was always worried about premature ejaculation, and its always been a problem with me, the only way to get around it for me, is she gives me a bj and then we have sex 10-15 mins afterwards where i can last much longer and find it easier to control it, but then i have the same problem of losing my erection after 40-1 hour, so i cum before and my gf understands this and is happy with it.

    don't think there really is a way around it, although i hear cock rings can hold an erection, not sure though, and if its durex performa you've ordered then there supposed to help although ive never tried them personally
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    also take into consideration there are plenty of other ways you can pleasure her other than sex! Use your hands, or maybe some toys or something. use your imagination :love:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nemisus wrote: »
    then i have the same problem of losing my erection after 40-1 hour

    Don't think that's a problem, who the hell wants hours of penetration?

    OP - rather than waiting 15 minutes, try doing something for her, oral, use your hand or something, the will probably last quite a bit longer, and by that point maybe you'd have more of a chance to re-charge.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    red_jelly wrote: »
    Don't think that's a problem, who the hell wants hours of penetration?

    OP - rather than waiting 15 minutes, try doing something for her, oral, use your hand or something, the will probably last quite a bit longer, and by that point maybe you'd have more of a chance to re-charge.

    my gf lol and it aint half tiring
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds more like a textbook case of nerves to me. Spend some time getting to know one another's bodies, getting to relax. Don't rush things.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree with what everyone has said. try to relax and dont worry about cumming too soon!
    get her to finish you off with her hand or mouth before you have actual sex and then spend the time pleasing her until you are ready to go again and you'll be able to last much longer.
    i had this problem with my ex, he would cum within like 20 seconds, but if he came before we had sex, he could last alot longer during actual sex!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe have most of sex as foreplay or non-penetrative, make her come once or twice, and then it won't matter a jot if you come quickly after that when you actually have penetrative sex
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nemisus wrote: »
    my gf lol and it aint half tiring

    ha, fair enough, but remember sex is for you too, maybe your body is telling you an hour is too much.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe have most of sex as foreplay or non-penetrative, make her come once or twice, and then it won't matter a jot if you come quickly after that when you actually have penetrative sex

    True, foreplay is most definately the way to go, keep at it and take it slowly, once she's "cum" a few times she wont mind you not lasting as long, plus the more your do this, the more confidence you'll get and your lasting times will improve.
    Try not to time it, just enjoy the moment, dont dwell on it, as this will only make things worse!
    Your not alone out there pal!! :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    premature ejaculation is a bit of an outdated notion i think anyway, from the times that a mans orgasm was seen as the grand finalé and it didnt really matter what happened before or after.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh god, don't get this numb feeling condoms! You could literally put your dick in between two bricks and smash them with a sledge hammer and you wouldn't feel anything.

    I can cum super quick if I totally concentrate on sensation of my wee going in and out, or I can last endless if I think about funny stuff, or dead fish, or study-stuff like the Schrödinger Equation...

    Just don't start to laugh, or make mathematical notes on her boobs, because you can't picture the schrödinger equation in your head, or something..
    premature ejaculation is a bit of an outdated notion i think anyway, from the times that a mans orgasm was seen as the grand finalé and it didnt really matter what happened before or after.

    well it's still actual and up-to-date, if you - as girl - have like 40 seconds of sexual pleasure, before he's done... Doing your taxes might bring more satisfaction then.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in some ways its quite flattering (as a girl) if you arouse him that much that he cant control himself around you!
    but it is also frustrating sometimes!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »


    well it's still actual and up-to-date, if you - as girl - have like 40 seconds of sexual pleasure, before he's done... Doing your taxes might bring more satisfaction then.

    well thats if you only count sexual pleasure as being the penetration part, thats what im trying to say. It might be a case of trying to be a bit more inventive with sex, make it less of an issue, and then maybe even once the pressure is off, the "problem" might go away.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Guys that last quite a long time, what do you do, how do you vary penetration? surely lots of thrusting etc gets boring? and sore for her? do you change position etc?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Guys that last quite a long time, what do you do, how do you vary penetration? surely lots of thrusting etc gets boring? and sore for her? do you change position etc?!

    in the case of my boyfriend, he goes really fast with lots of thrusting but before he gets too carried away he'll slow the pace down... this then gives us both loads of pleasure lol :naughty: and then when we've had our fair share of fun together he'll cum

    it's really good cos from my point of view i never know if he's gonna go really fast or slow... varying the pace keeps it good the whole time otherwise it does get boring as you mentioned
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Practise makes perfect, maybe drink enough alcohol to make urself suitably numb yet still be able to retain rigidity might be an idea. Go slowly, i find that my gf prefers that and is able to come from that near enough every time. Also going slowly is a good idea if ur on ur second time plus, cos i find that if i pound away like a man possessed it doesn't do anyone any favours, especially people in other rooms.

    Saying the alphabet backwards in your head is pretty good, everyone likes letters. Mathematical equations are a good idea but i refrain from that as i tend to associate it with the rest of my physics class at uni which works wonders for delaying coming, but to the extend of it spanning days, which again does no one any favours, especially the rest of the people in the house.

    Just don't worry, the more you think about it, the quicker it'll happen. Good things come to those who wait, people learn how to have sex all their lives, no one can expect to be good at it straight away - just enjoy it. One day after the tenth successive night of no sleep you'll look back on those days with fond, but also very short memories.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mattomic wrote: »
    Saying the alphabet backwards in your head is pretty good, everyone likes letters. Mathematical equations are a good idea but i refrain from that as i tend to associate it with the rest of my physics class at uni which works wonders for delaying coming, but to the extend of it spanning days, which again does no one any favours, especially the rest of the people in the house.

    However if girl catches you saying alphabet backwards or thinking bout mathematical equations it's bad news. We can definitely tell when your mind is elsewhere and it's offputting.
    Mattomic wrote: »
    Just don't worry, the more you think about it, the quicker it'll happen. Good things come to those who wait, people learn how to have sex all their lives, no one can expect to be good at it straight away - just enjoy it.

    I second that, really just keep having sex and one day you won't be able to come before your girlfriend has! This process may take months but really keep practicisg and not worrying too much. Maybe concentrate on doing what's good for her for a bit, exactly what angle etc so ur mind is occupied trying ur best to do right for her. Sometimes though i think thinking about it too much ruins it, so a balance is necessary.Good luck, just be patient.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    exercise your pc muscles so that you can hold off till your ready. Theres websites about it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the replies,

    when i said its better for me to come then stop, i do keep giving her foreplay n stuff.. but i feel as if the whole intensity of the session has went, you lose a bit of sex drive after you ejaculate and after a while it feels like ur just doing it for the sake of it, so i dont want to get into the habbit of cuming with her hands or mouth... and always make her cum a couple of times before we actually have sex.

    to whoeever said get a little drunk, yeah this helps me... but dont want to rely on it.

    do any of those creams n stuff work, ive spoken to her about it properly for the first time tonight n i think its ugnna be alot easier to work round it n stuff, i'll see how it goes
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    when i was younger i could hold my ejaculation for a long time, now that i'm 45 it's a little harder (no pun intended) it's also hard for me because my future wife turns me on so much that i want to cum instantly lol but ive figured out a way to hold off .... everytime i get close i think of something that turns me off and it help's.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    robz wrote: »
    in the case of my boyfriend, he goes really fast with lots of thrusting but before he gets too carried away he'll slow the pace down... this then gives us both loads of pleasure lol :naughty: and then when we've had our fair share of fun together he'll cum

    Aye I find that the key, when you're really going for it you feel it building up but just slow it down, though sometimes I'm just too horny and go the whole 9 yards straight away lol.

    Though that's not really premature ejaculation, some people just cum too quick, either nerves or just bad luck being born that way. Condoms and relaxation methods can help you with the problem.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Never underestimate foreplay in all of this, I wouldn't say I suffer from PE but also admit I don't last too long, make a big effort with foreplay, get her so would up with whispering, kissing, oral, fingering etc etc etc that she is about to explode and begging for you to penetrate her then when you do she is so close that even if you don't last very long chances are she will come before you or near enough the same time.

    Have used Performa condoms before, they do a great job of making a guy last but I felt barely anything when using them and, of the two times I have used them once having made her come I had to get her to finish me off by hand!
Sign In or Register to comment.