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My best mates just told me shes pregnant

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's a very encouraging sign that she is able to discuss it with her father. How many other 17-year olds who fell pregnant would be able to do the same?

    The support of the parents, plus a support from a good friend such as yourself should see her through.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    I think it's a very encouraging sign that she is able to discuss it with her father. How many other 17-year olds who fell pregnant would be able to do the same?

    The support of the parents, plus a support from a good friend such as yourself should see her through.

    no not her dad.
    the babies dad
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Give her lots of hugs. I think the best thing you can do is just be there for her. I know it feels useless, but thats the best thing you can do. Just be there & support her whatever she decides to do.

    Hope the baby's dad & her own parents are supportive. Has she told her parents?

    Good luck to her
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it must seem like the biggest thing in the world to her just now, and so scary.
    I hope shes ok.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    congratulations!

    or.. condolences..

    I don't know...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kate- wrote: »
    no not her dad.
    the babies dad
    Still good either way. Could have tried to conceal the fact from the baby's dad. The fact they're being open about it will help them make the right decision for them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    congratulations!

    or.. condolences..

    I don't know...

    Its hardly difficult to find the context of the post. Dickhead.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She should seek advice from her doctors/family planning agency ASAP. The sooner she sorts herself out, the better she'll be.

    I hope she can find the strength to tell her primary caregivers, because although they're likely to be cross at first, they'll have her best interests at heart, and will help her. They won't LIKE the idea, but I'm sure they'd help her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kate- wrote: »
    Its hardly difficult to find the context of the post. Dickhead.

    i didn't read it. just the title.

    /e: and actually it is. after you said "she is the most sensible practically perfect person I know.".

    I heard people cry for being happy too, when overwhelmed.


    so temper temper, madam.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She could always get an abortion . . .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    AngelaAT wrote: »
    She could always get an abortion . . .

    That's true enough, but if your friend became pregnant and she was scared and upset would you say 'well, you could have an abortion'. It's not about the facts necessarily but approaching the situation with tact and sympathy. Listening more than anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    i didn't read it. just the title.

    /e: and actually it is. after you said "she is the most sensible practically perfect person I know.".

    I heard people cry for being happy too, when overwhelmed.


    so temper temper, madam.

    If you cant be arsed to read the post I'd prefer you not answer at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    AngelaAT wrote: »
    She could always get an abortion . . .

    Yup thats whats going to happen.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    kate- wrote: »

    I just dont know what to say.
    Its such a mess and I hate hearing her cry.
    I've said I'm here when she needs me cos shes just gone to discuss it with the father but it seems so useless.

    *hugs* Just having a supportive friend like you must be a great comfort to her during this difficult time.

    You may also want to direct her to some information on TheSite.org/print out factsheets that she may find helpful. The following articles in particular:

    Pregnant - what now

    Should I have a baby

    Abortion

    Dealing with an abortion

    Also, she may be interested in using Ask Brook which you can find out about here

    Hope this helps.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It must have been a shock for everyone concerned. I feel for her, for you.

    Being there for her isn't useless, you aren't useless you're her best friend and you're needed and appreciated. "Being there" is the most you can do for her at this point in time and... really, it's all you can do for her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't push her to make any decisions when she is not really - it is the worst thing in the world to hear news like that and be pushed into talking about what you are going to do next when you still can't get your heard around what you have just found out.

    I know it's been a few days now, perhaps suggest she talks to her GP, or brook or someone. Don't pressure her too - if she's quite early on she will be ok for a bit. If she goes, and isn't ready to talk or absorb what she is told - there is no point in her going. When she does decide to go offer your support, or encourage her to invite the baby's dad - depending on his opinion and support with it all.

    Don't pressurise her to talk to her parents - continually being told that your parents will understand and they will support you by people who don't know your parents (you may think you know them but do you know them behind closed doors?) only makes things worse for her.

    I go with Helen with the printing off the factsheets, perhaps email or msn her the links but explain that you do understand that she may not want to look or talk about them yet.

    Just be there, let her bring the conversation up. She may just want to talk about "normal" stuff - it will be buzzing around on her mind constantly and she may want you act like it isn't happening. Mabye that's not healthy or the best way - but don't knock it; it's hard enough as it is for her at the moment.

    Just be there, led her take the lead. Be a physical shoulder to cry on - she needs it x x x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :yes: :yes: :yes: to everything that Ashlee said
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kate- wrote: »
    If you cant be arsed to read the post I'd prefer you not answer at all.

    and I'd prefer you to have some manners.
    Not everyone gets your initial emotion from your ambiguous OP.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    and I'd prefer you to have some manners.
    Not everyone gets your initial emotion from your ambiguous OP.

    Oh I do have manners honey but I reserve them for people who actually deserve them. For example people who can be bothered read a post before adding to it.:rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    please just ask her what she wants to do. i was in the same situation and no one asked me what i wanted to do. everyone just said 'you cant keep it' and i had an abortion and it is the biggest mistake i have made in my life.

    please just make sure she knows she can be honest with you about what she wants to do...please dont push your opion on her (im not saying you are)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All you can do is be there for her and listen to her when she needs to talk,just let her know that no matter what she decides you'll support her.
    I know it might seem a major thing just now but whateva happins everything will be ok for your freind.

    Sorry a lil off topic but why do people post just to be bitchy or act a smart ass.aint this ment to be a site that offers help and opinions?anyways hope everything works out for your friend.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    and I'd prefer you to have some manners.
    Not everyone gets your initial emotion from your ambiguous OP.

    There was nothing ambiguous about the OP, you replied insensitively and Kate bit down - and no the insults aren't OK, but it actually wouldn't be a bad idea for you to think twice before responding to certain threads. Back on topic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kate- wrote: »
    Oh I do have manners honey but I reserve them for people who actually deserve them. For example people who can be bothered read a post before adding to it.:rolleyes:

    I am certainly not your honey, for starters... and if you really took offense of my post, well, than this must be a tough world for you, filled with meanies.


    anyhoo...
    i had an abortion and it is the biggest mistake i have made in my life.

    Isn't that a common sentiment? The "what if" questions? The "Awww, I could have a little baby by now." Do you think you would still hold the same opinion if you actually had that kid now, maybe single, struggling to pay for your child? The trouble to work to have the money and being the mother that the kid needs at the same time?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you can't see that the OP needs sympathy, advice, and reassurance StrubbleS, it is you who will find this world tough, or more accurately, others will continually find YOU tough. Take a step back and think about the real life behind the poster, and the real worries in the post, this isn't the thread for flippancy and snideness.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    please just ask her what she wants to do

    :yes: Whilst encouraging her to talk to soeone would be a good idea, don't force her into doing soething that she's not ready to do. I would also suggest that when she does tell her parents, you could go wth her as well for support?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    I am certainly not your honey, for starters... and if you really took offense of my post, well, than this must be a tough world for you, filled with meanies.


    You have just totally explained your first post. :rolleyes:


    To be quite frank I won't be reading anymore of your posts as I find you an incredibly pointless addition to any threads.
    Feel free to respond but as above I won't be reading it so I don't care :D :thumb:
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    katralla wrote: »
    If you can't see that the OP needs sympathy, advice, and reassurance StrubbleS, it is you who will find this world tough, or more accurately, others will continually find YOU tough. Take a step back and think about the real life behind the poster, and the real worries in the post, this isn't the thread for flippancy and snideness.

    :yes:
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