If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Another psycho ex thread...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Around about october time me and my ex took a break from each other, she wasn't happy with me, i wasn't happy with her. After a month she missed me like mad and wanted me back. I missed her and said to her, lets be mates and see how it goes. She took this as a sign as we were back together.
Then in november i decided i just wanted to be friends and leave at that. My ex became stupidly depressed, like how she was before she met me (she was depressed over another guy)
I then met another girl at new years and got with her. Now my ex wont stop texting me, wont stop calling me crying down the phone, wont stop messaging me on msn with the same stuff. She keeps moaning about the past, how crap a bf i was to her, how i ruined her life, how i made her depressed, how everything is my fault and that i shouldnt be with my gf and shoulda tried harder with her and be with her to make her happy.
Fact is, i left because I wanted to be happy for one. And i am, my new gf is lovely, she appreciates me, understands me and doesnt moan or anything at me. But my ex is trying her best to ruin it, not only with all the contacting me, but on her myspace EVERYTHING relates to how depressed she is over me, from music, to pictures to blog posts. This is making my new gf uneasy, but whats worse is that my ex has contact my new gf with the likes of 'good luck with him, you'll need it'. My ex says she was being nice, but you'd have to be an idiot to think thats a nice comment. Which is making my new gf really paranoid that i'll dump her or cheat on her.
My ex is just going psycho, contacting my mates telling me how i made her depressed, contacting my new gf, contacting me and having the same 4 hour long arguments and moans over and over and over again. It's getting me down, it's making me worried, i cant even go on msn without her txting me asking why im online but blocked her.
How do i get her to stop this, i know its not me whos depressed her, i know its deeper than that, ive told her to see a doctor but obviously she wont. I dont want her contacting my gf or my mates, just want her to leave me alone, get over me and find something else to make her happy. I get the feeling shes gona try her hardest to ruin my life, the one bit of happyness ive found in a long time just so she can have me.
I've tried telling her to have a decent convo with me and just be a friend cos shouting and moaning at me aint gona want me to be her friend, but she says she cant then goes onto another rant how everything in the world is my fault.
What can i do to her and to make it so she cant ruin my new relationship? Thats the thing that scares me the most.
Then in november i decided i just wanted to be friends and leave at that. My ex became stupidly depressed, like how she was before she met me (she was depressed over another guy)
I then met another girl at new years and got with her. Now my ex wont stop texting me, wont stop calling me crying down the phone, wont stop messaging me on msn with the same stuff. She keeps moaning about the past, how crap a bf i was to her, how i ruined her life, how i made her depressed, how everything is my fault and that i shouldnt be with my gf and shoulda tried harder with her and be with her to make her happy.
Fact is, i left because I wanted to be happy for one. And i am, my new gf is lovely, she appreciates me, understands me and doesnt moan or anything at me. But my ex is trying her best to ruin it, not only with all the contacting me, but on her myspace EVERYTHING relates to how depressed she is over me, from music, to pictures to blog posts. This is making my new gf uneasy, but whats worse is that my ex has contact my new gf with the likes of 'good luck with him, you'll need it'. My ex says she was being nice, but you'd have to be an idiot to think thats a nice comment. Which is making my new gf really paranoid that i'll dump her or cheat on her.
My ex is just going psycho, contacting my mates telling me how i made her depressed, contacting my new gf, contacting me and having the same 4 hour long arguments and moans over and over and over again. It's getting me down, it's making me worried, i cant even go on msn without her txting me asking why im online but blocked her.
How do i get her to stop this, i know its not me whos depressed her, i know its deeper than that, ive told her to see a doctor but obviously she wont. I dont want her contacting my gf or my mates, just want her to leave me alone, get over me and find something else to make her happy. I get the feeling shes gona try her hardest to ruin my life, the one bit of happyness ive found in a long time just so she can have me.
I've tried telling her to have a decent convo with me and just be a friend cos shouting and moaning at me aint gona want me to be her friend, but she says she cant then goes onto another rant how everything in the world is my fault.
What can i do to her and to make it so she cant ruin my new relationship? Thats the thing that scares me the most.
0
Comments
just basically ignore her (if you want to that is?)
i think sometimes people can be too nice to their exes
mine was just like yours, so i was always pacifying him "oooh we can be friends" " give me more time to think" etc
sometimes it's better to be blunt and just cut them off altogether!
doing that alone will make your new gf feel less paranoid...
Good luck with everything
xxx
Ive been there before trying to keep a mad ex happy while in a new relationship and the best bit of advice i could probable give you is remember who is your number 1 now,your ex is the past and your gf is your present so just make sure you keep her happy and if your ex cant handle that then thats her problem.harsh i know but likes others have said sum times you have to be harsh.
As the others have said, sometimes being 'friends with the ex' isn't helpful to either party, so you might want to think about how much you want her in your life, or whether it's better to slowly cut off contact. Have you and your ex got any mutual friends? If you have, perhaps you could contact them and see if they'd be able to offer your ex extra support over the next while just so she doesn't feel abandoned altogether.
Meanwhile, it might be a good idea to have a chat with your girlfriend and reassure her a bit. The past is the past, but she's the one you're with now. It might be difficult to ignore your ex, but don't let her interference get in the way of your happiness.
Ignore her, cut contact with her, get out of her life. She's gotta move on.
Ignoring her really is the only way, doing that will gie the message that she can not rile you up anymore or effect the way your life is panning out, she will continue to harass but over time it will decrease and you will be free to enjoy life once again.
Everyone handles bad news in different ways, its what makes us humans, she is a little bit extreme but by no means the worst case of a psycho ex i have ever heard.
Stay composed and everything will be fine buddy.
However, i get the impression you haven't actually told her to leave you alone. Next time she rings you, just be honest. Tell her to stop calling, tell her to fuck off basically. She'll get the message eventually.
If you want your new relationship to work this is what you have to do. Otherwise your new gf will get sick of it all and bugger off.