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His family do my head in!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
1

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know family can be a bit of a touchy subject but it might be best speaking to your bf before it drives a wedge between you too! You might be surprised and he might feel the same way. But I wouldn't leave it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe you should tell your boyfriend if its annoying you this much.

    Is he with you when you are getting asked all these questions?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    to be honest i dont see the problem, i think expecting to walk into his house and just go straight to his room or wherever ya go is a bit anti-social...you should make convo, its their house and you are a guest...I've always sat with his parents for a little while when i first get there...just to see how they are doing etc...its polite

    she probably thinks that she's making you feel welcome, trying to get to know you

    i cant really comment on the holiday thing, as i dont know how much time you spend together or how serious the relationship is....but if you'ce got serious quite quick, she might just presume you're in it for the long haul

    as for the birthday, i dont see the problem, if you had already made plans, say so...if not, why not just go?

    BUT if the "sitting in the lounge for an hour" thing is regular, i'd speak to ya fella and ask can you stay with them a bit less, just tell him you wanna spend more time alone
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, if my girlfriend was in that situation I would understand it.

    You are dating HIM, not his mum. In his place I (as b/f) would bail you out like, "hey mum, excuse [girlfriend] please. (to g/f): Let's go to my room [doing whatever].", IF I knew you weren't comfortable with it. Maybe it's going on his nerves too, that you always seem to chit-chat with his parents while he wants to be alone with you, to talk, or whatever.

    communication is the key. Of course you can't tell his mum to bugger off, but your b/f should be reasonable about it and "help you out." I think in not too distant future his mum will realize that you come over to his place for him and therefore want to spend time with him and that can happen without outright declining her, so that she can't even say you were rude.

    To family-gatherings and shit it would always be me who invites my g/f, not my mum. Maybe this one day I want to be alone with my family, so I should decide so too.

    it might be delicate, but if you are careful he must and will be understandable about it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does he also phone his mum everyday, and introduce you to her before the second date? If so, be afraid, very afraid. In my experience, the next thing he'll be doing is sitting you in front of bid tv asking your opinion on the ring he's gonna buy his mummy. Tread carefully if you do speak to him about it though as people who're epoxied to their parents don't understand why others wouldn't want to be.

    ETA: the above depends on how old you both are.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry repeated post
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So, perhaps he just hasn't noticed and won't take offence if you just point out that all the questions etc make you feel a tad uncomfortable. What's your best case scenario here anyway, you want her to shut up or you'd just rather spend less time with her, or other?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes it's just like that, luckily you won't have to live with her so it'll just be a minor inconvenience.

    My girlfriend has 6 older brothers so I hafta be careful when I'm round there. :angel:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you tried speaking to her directly?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg omg this sounds just what it is like for me with my boyfriends mum!

    i know she don't like me, she knows she don't like me, the only person who doesn't know is my boyfriend :yeees:

    shes well possive, my bloke is 21 and his bro is 19 and she STILL sits up waiting for them to come in after a night out and "can't sleep" untill she knows her boys are home.... omg they are grown men now!!! not 15 anymore!!!!!!!!!! and she don't have a boyfriend either so her whole life is focused on her sons :banghead:

    she even tells my boyfriend if he can drive his car or not :eek2:

    So sorry i cant be much help, i do know what you are going through tho!
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