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new gf very hard to please in bedroom..help:(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok i havean amazing gf and we click so well its uncany people say we make an awesome couple etc but weve just started making love (both were virgins), for me its sexually fufilling every time i love her and enjoy it imensly, problem is she cant seem to cum:( she insits im fantastic and she enjoys it immensly and i can last as long as needed but after a while we usuall give up:( although i finish this is becoming unfurfilling as i ould love her to enjoy it as much as me, weve tried diff positions and she says she enjoys missionary te mosty but still no luck, any ideas or advice wuld be awesome:)

p.s. oral and fingering also prove no results despite obvious sighns that she is enjoying herself:(

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    can she cum by herself?
  • PearlyPearly Posts: 345 The Mix Regular
    Hiya,

    It's very normal for women to have problems getting an orgasm during sex, especially if they aren't very experienced. Did you know that 75% of women say they don't orgasm during sex? So please don't worry that it's something you are doing wrong. A lot of the time it's simply that the woman may just not feel all that relaxed or needs to work out for herself what feels good and so on. If you say it's still not happening during oral, again it may be that you need to talk to her about what would make her feel more comfortable. Perhaps if you go away for a night in a relaxed/romantic setting, that would help? It may also be issues to do with her self esteem? For more tips, try reading this article. Also, I think if you both put pressure on yourselves for her to reach orgasm it could make things worse - try just focusing on enjoying the actual act/s and hopefully it will come in time (pardon the pun!) when you're not thinking about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yohanes13 wrote: »
    ok i havean amazing gf and we click so well its uncany people say we make an awesome couple etc but weve just started making love (both were virgins), for me its sexually fufilling every time i love her and enjoy it imensly, problem is she cant seem to cum:( she insits im fantastic and she enjoys it immensly and i can last as long as needed but after a while we usuall give up:( although i finish this is becoming unfurfilling as i ould love her to enjoy it as much as me, weve tried diff positions and she says she enjoys missionary te mosty but still no luck, any ideas or advice wuld be awesome:)

    p.s. oral and fingering also prove no results despite obvious sighns that she is enjoying herself:(

    Have you tried foreplay before making love? with my girlfriend I do the whole nine yards and you mght want to try different positions which might help increase the intensity. Do not stick to the same positions if it's not doing anything for her.

    Oral don't work either? how about her g-spot? and try kissing and licking her inner thighs before you perform oral.

    Best of luck!:thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    can she cum by herself?

    tis a fine point, will certainly light the way for you two with an answer to that one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    same old sex is BORING! you could try different lotions, like play heat etc.

    just bring some stuff into the sex and make it funner
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    um

    yes she can cum by herself:( although she says it does take ages! ive tried everything and lots of positions she says shes happy and enjoys it v.mush anyway i just feel kinsda selfish:(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Usually takes me a while to cum too.

    Have you tried stimulating her boobs/nipples? That usually sets me in good stead during sex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    as long as she can cum (all be it with difficulty), then theres nothing to worry about physically. And if she says she is enjoying it then you cant be doing anything terribly wrong at all really can you?
    Keep trying, i mean come on, theres worse things to do with your time right? hehe
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She's most probably thinking about it too much. If you spend your time thinking "I want to have an orgasm" during sex, instead of just going with the flow and enjoying it, sooner or later, it's going to have a detrimental effect. The answer to this problem? Don't use the number of orgasms as a measure of sexual success - just enjoy yourselves! Why ruin perfectly good nookie?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My g/f is very hard to please. She's very physically fit (as am I), so sometimes it just takes a while.
    Doing other things together like excersising helps. And before you get to it, do some bedroom excersises like naked sit-ups, stretches. Seeing her slim, naked body work out really helps. The same would be her to me.
    Take your time, rushing it just to get to the shops will not work.
    True, women go for much longer than men, so slow down as you are approaching, but keep pushing slowly, but rubbing her around the chest and back. Your libido will go, slightly, but won't finish, so if you keep doing this, it's good. Eventually you will feel her cum, then just keep pushing. Several times she's passed out after this (called Little Death).
    It's tiring, though, so both being fit helps. Okay, she's really skinny, so she can go on longer than some others
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would agree missionary is the best, easiest to come from. I would suggest going really slow and waiting for her to feel something that feels like it could lead to orgasm. Then stay in that position and slowly speed up, eventually she should come one day, but don't hurry, one day it will happen. Something i found used to help me 'catch' the orgasm when it used to be difficult was guy reaching to hold my bum, something about the angle helped. Then just do it normally. Definitely before sex make sure she's gagging for it with fingering etc.

    Another way is her ontop so she can control speed, get her to lie right down on you to maximize clitoral stimulation.
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