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Building Emotional Intimacy? + I'm happy & Want to tell someone

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi All,

First thing is, I feel like I need to get out there that I'm happy! I'm currently in New Zealand (lucky me, I know) staying with my dad for a month, meaning I've not got any of my mates to talk to, so I'm saying things to you all! (Hope you don't mind!)

Anyway, basically got together with a girl I've liked for ages, but never thought liked me (this happened 2 weeks before I left for New Zealand). Turned out she'd liked me since we met, and even though we've both been with other people in that time, it suddenly hit me like a train when we spent a bit more time together than normal (just as friends). Only complicated bit was having to end things with my then (now ex) gf, who was a lovely soul, but not right for me; I'd been having doubts for quite a while but was making the mistake of trying to ignore these feelings). Felt like a right git (basically ending it with her so I could be with this new girl), but did end things pronto as soon as I realised what was going to happen.

So after all this, I'm with this new girl, and its a bit scary, because I appear to be really into her; although not dating for long, it feels like ages, and I feel like I can trust her already. I know I'm in the honeymoon period, but I can't seem to help thinking she's wonderful, which is good and slightly bad at the same time!

Moving onto the other part of the title, emotional intimacy. I'm finding out little bits of information (as you would expect) about her past life, and just want to bounce a few things off you all. It's starting to sound like she's been mucked around a little in the past, with various things I don't know the details of obviously. Just checking that I'm handling this the right way; basically to ask a question or two when she brings it up, and judge how she reacts, but how much should I ask (obv. in a sensitive manner)?

In addition, from a personal standpoint, my brain does funny things, it wants to know the details, but yet they have the ability to do my head in. In the past when I've really liked someone, I've found I can react in quite a jealous manner, which worries me as thats rarely productive, and normally negative. For instance her talking about previous boyfriends. Its also often irrational. I can also get slightly protective, as I try my best not to screw people over (hence feeling bad about my ex), and it angers me a lot when someone else has done so to someone I like. Does anyone else get this? I think its important for me to be able to talk about, handle and process such info about previous relationships - any tips??

I get the feeling I really (read, really really) like this girl, so want to make sure I don't screw anything up. Its really a lot harder being away from this girl than I thought it would be (getting the whole butterflies thing!).

Any comments welcome!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm going though a pretty simlar thing mate
    i broke up with my ex about amonth and half ago and for a while i felt really bad for awhile
    any way, now i really like this girl and i think she likes me to

    My advice to you is to just brave though it, if you like this girl then u've made the right desicion, just belive in it and i'm sure it will be fine!
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