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Maybe i should just give up on the whole friends thing.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm one of the nicest guys ever. At least that's what im told. I used to think i was always scared of lossing my friends ut now i think im just scared of getting hurt by them.
I treat my friends really well i think, i always look after them and forgo my own happyness t make sure they are ok. And whilst they say all the right things, like im their most valued friend, or their best friend, or their friend for life, they always hurt me. They either just stop talking to me, take one little thing i've done wrong and hate me for ever after or just forget i need looking after too sometimes
I mean whats the point anymore in me having friends, they do nothing for me. They don't make sure i'm okay, they take all the nice things i do for them, thank me, then forget they ever happened. They all say sorry a lot to. I know they don't mean it though. Anyone can say sorry, it's proving your sorry. I think i'm just gona give up, i've tried really hard the past year to make lots of new friends in a new city and have fun, but i think i just end up more depressed. At least with no friends, i know i can't be disappointed.
I treat my friends really well i think, i always look after them and forgo my own happyness t make sure they are ok. And whilst they say all the right things, like im their most valued friend, or their best friend, or their friend for life, they always hurt me. They either just stop talking to me, take one little thing i've done wrong and hate me for ever after or just forget i need looking after too sometimes
I mean whats the point anymore in me having friends, they do nothing for me. They don't make sure i'm okay, they take all the nice things i do for them, thank me, then forget they ever happened. They all say sorry a lot to. I know they don't mean it though. Anyone can say sorry, it's proving your sorry. I think i'm just gona give up, i've tried really hard the past year to make lots of new friends in a new city and have fun, but i think i just end up more depressed. At least with no friends, i know i can't be disappointed.
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Comments
You need to find a balance. Help others but you need to put yourself first the majority of the time. Not at the expense of others, but recognise that your own needs are just as important as theirs. this way they will respect you, and not be all put out when you suddenly put yourself first as its such a shock for them
Have you worked on your self esteem in the past months? You need to acknowledge that you've done well in finding new friends, that's admirable. However, you must also work on yourself. With self esteem comes self respect and certain assertiveness that's vital to friendships.
Friendships are complicated and it's something you need to learn to deal with as you gain more experience. I used to be similar to you, I would do everything and agree to all suggestions because I thought I was being a good friend. Truth be told I was just the walkover and wasn't very happy. Now I make suggestions, tell people if I don't think their ideas are any good, and so on. I meet them a lot more, enjoy their company a lot more and got rid of the feeling of loneliness. I often do stuff I'm not keen on but only in equal measures as I decline or suggest something else. You give and take a little.