If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
The risk of telling of feelings..
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Well i will try to keep this simple and tell as much as is needed to understand my predicament, as it could branch out forever otherwise.
Well im a guy with whom none of my friends or family know of my sexuality. Oh god this is going to difficult with this bloc party album
but here goes..
Well with being closeted, i have no where really i can go but online to be open about my sexuality. Anyway to cut a very very long story short i had seen a gay program and liked this guy on it and managed to find his profile online and got speaking to him on msn and this was like march this year and we fell out a bit and he like blocked me on msn for like a month or two. Then after a while i sent him a msg and he came online again after months and we started again almost but we had talked sexual stuff aswell as like talking well into the early hours. I grew very strong feelings for him, he talked about me coming over and he gave me his address and he lived like 238 miles from me
and one day after work i drove all the way to him and got there well late.
This really is a long story cut very short, but it was tragic for me in the end heres why.. I had my first proper experience and it was the best thing ever. I had said online that i didn't want to do anything over the camera becuase i didn't want to spoil anything we had. Anyway we were active till like 4am it was awesome i loved it. I stayed the weekend and we did it again the following evening.. and then went back to work for a week at home.
Asked to come over again becuase it was great, but he said that he didn't want to do it again if i came.. That was a bit hurtful and dissapointing but i agreed and i went down again. However at night time in his room, and i wanted to go to sleep and he was watching tv i couldn't get to sleep with the TV and it was torture becuase i couldnt' stop thinking about him lying next to me, from his bunkbed onto the floor next to me and that wasn't going to happen, so anyway i decided to take a risk and after about an hour 30 mins of silence i said "..we need to talk" and he said wat and i stood up and told him i "really liked him" and he then couldn't of hurt me more by saying "he saw us as just friends" i said ok, i did as well when i first came but he'd initiaited the sexual stuff so.. i asked him "why did you do that?" it was very painful for me and made it harder for me.
The next morning it was torture and we sat in the living area saying practically nothing to each other and it was so oooo painful. I decided it best to go omg ppl sooooo painful, but when i spoke to him online at home. I asked if we could still be friends and he said "of course". However he has had me blocked again for like over a month now and i relise it's prbably for the best. But i do want to be friends still, and thing is he still has me as a friend on his online profile but doesn't speak to me anymore.
Quite an age difference im 22 and he's 17. and he acts very selfish and immature most of the time, though he is a lot of fun..
Will time heal this? he seems to of trusted me the whole time, and i have told him the truth about how i felt about him.. he told me i freaked him out though by staring at him when i told him..
I just want to know what course of action to take.. and what do you think he thought of me? thinks of me now? he told me when i told him i liked him he knew all along because i told him when i first started speaking online, so why'd he do it and what does it mean??
Plz help ne1
Well im a guy with whom none of my friends or family know of my sexuality. Oh god this is going to difficult with this bloc party album
but here goes..Well with being closeted, i have no where really i can go but online to be open about my sexuality. Anyway to cut a very very long story short i had seen a gay program and liked this guy on it and managed to find his profile online and got speaking to him on msn and this was like march this year and we fell out a bit and he like blocked me on msn for like a month or two. Then after a while i sent him a msg and he came online again after months and we started again almost but we had talked sexual stuff aswell as like talking well into the early hours. I grew very strong feelings for him, he talked about me coming over and he gave me his address and he lived like 238 miles from me
and one day after work i drove all the way to him and got there well late.This really is a long story cut very short, but it was tragic for me in the end heres why.. I had my first proper experience and it was the best thing ever. I had said online that i didn't want to do anything over the camera becuase i didn't want to spoil anything we had. Anyway we were active till like 4am it was awesome i loved it. I stayed the weekend and we did it again the following evening.. and then went back to work for a week at home.
Asked to come over again becuase it was great, but he said that he didn't want to do it again if i came.. That was a bit hurtful and dissapointing but i agreed and i went down again. However at night time in his room, and i wanted to go to sleep and he was watching tv i couldn't get to sleep with the TV and it was torture becuase i couldnt' stop thinking about him lying next to me, from his bunkbed onto the floor next to me
and that wasn't going to happen, so anyway i decided to take a risk and after about an hour 30 mins of silence i said "..we need to talk" and he said wat and i stood up and told him i "really liked him" and he then couldn't of hurt me more by saying "he saw us as just friends" i said ok, i did as well when i first came but he'd initiaited the sexual stuff so.. i asked him "why did you do that?" it was very painful for me and made it harder for me.The next morning it was torture and we sat in the living area saying practically nothing to each other and it was so oooo painful. I decided it best to go omg ppl sooooo painful, but when i spoke to him online at home. I asked if we could still be friends and he said "of course". However he has had me blocked again for like over a month now and i relise it's prbably for the best. But i do want to be friends still, and thing is he still has me as a friend on his online profile but doesn't speak to me anymore.
Quite an age difference im 22 and he's 17. and he acts very selfish and immature most of the time, though he is a lot of fun..
Will time heal this? he seems to of trusted me the whole time, and i have told him the truth about how i felt about him.. he told me i freaked him out though by staring at him when i told him..
I just want to know what course of action to take.. and what do you think he thought of me? thinks of me now? he told me when i told him i liked him he knew all along because i told him when i first started speaking online, so why'd he do it and what does it mean??
Plz help ne1
0
Comments
You need to forget about him cos he is obviously making you feel really bad, but obviously, easier said than done.
You need to start meeting new people to help you forget about him. There are nice guys out there and you deserve them, but this immature boy does not deserve you.
Delete him off your MSN list, it will be a huge weight off your shoulders and think about moving on. You're lucky because you will never have to face him in the street or anything like that as he lives far away and hopefully after some time you will get over him.
A lot of people that use the internet are just doing so to get easy sex and not really looking for long term relationships so if you decide to use the internet again to find love you should tell people from the start how you feel and what you are looking for to avoid potential heartbreak.
I'm sorry this has happened to you, but you will get over it within time and the pain will start to fade.
Btw, you should be proud of who you are!
I hate having to get over someone, becuase i dont fall easy for someone. I actually told him "im not sure why i like you so much" lol which i suppose is quite funny. But he is so clueless about how he makes people feel.
Thanks for your commments, any more advice would be welcome
Peace all..
Basically, just do whatever you can to get him out of your life. Find a hobby. Go out with your mates and have fun. Climb Mt. Everest. Work on your car. Play WOW. Join a club. Join a gym. Get a puppy. Basically, find something to do that is a complete world away from him, and anything to do with him, and go and do it. Thats what i did when i was having my girl problems, and it made a world of difference.
Good luck man.
Try not to dwell on it. It hurts but you have to move on. And learn from your experience too. The longer you allow him to affect your life, the more you will be wasting your emotions and life over him.