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Problems when 'fingering'

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Been going out with my girlfriend for about a month and although not very experienced before I met her she enjoyed me fingering her and I made her orgasm regularly (well I think so! :razz: )

But last couple of times I've done it I haven't mader her orgasm, she gets very close but doesn't achive it and says "nope" and then we stop.

It is disheartning for me as I want to pleasure her and also don't want to feel I am doing something wrong.

Wondering if anyone has any advice? I know everyone is unique but could it be her being tired, stressed etc or maybe I'm doing something wrong?

Thanks

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well im a guy, and often i cant and just give up. Some people come really easily, some not so easily, and some very rarely. just the way the cookie crumbles
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Let her show you how she likes it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    get her really turned on before actually going in for the kill so to speak, it will make her more likely to come and a lot quicker
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure when I hovered over this thread there was a mention of pizza - I was all set to say "well there's your problem right there'.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Take your time... lots of kissing her neck face etc to get her aroused and when you get to 'it' try using you index finger gently around the outside and around her clitoris with occasionaly dips inside... dont just push it in and out but try rubbing the top of her inside by waggling your finger like a 'come here' motion as this will touch the very sensitive upper wall of her vagina and you might even find her 'G' spot... try differnt things (but not to quickly) and watch her body language... that will tell you when your doing things right :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you have cable ? If you do the on demand section has a series called sex tips for girls, its not just for girls though they show men how to improve their technique. I would recommend watching it, I know it sounds very clinical to watch something and then practice but it does help to actually see what you might like to try and the reasons behind it working.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Try to turn her on in other ways before actually fingering her find out what else she likes
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, it may just be that she's drying out a bit after a little while - sometimes you won't know and she might not want to hurt your feelings. Sometimes it really can be down to if she's had a stressful day as weird as it sounds!! It's nothing that you're doing wrong.

    Best way to finger a girl is gently whilst you go down on her. Pretty much will score you more than one orgasm!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes things just lose their effect, it's not necessarily you doing anything wrong, but try adding other elements to spice things up.

    Depending on how much you've already done together (you didn't say if you've progressed past this stage of sexual activity): You could use a vibrator, go down on her, or you could even get her to do the 'reverse cowgirl' for sex and let her finish herself off that way... ;)

    If you're not ready to move past fingering then I would agree with the others and say spend more time leading up to it (hell, do that anyway) and perhaps when she says she can't, you could ask her if she wants you to try something else? The only way you'll know for sure is if you ask her...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a good build up is the key to good anything afterwards!!! really...x :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote: »
    get her really turned on before actually going in for the kill so to speak, it will make her more likely to come and a lot quicker

    :yes: That's the secret really innit.

    Also, if she doesn't mind, let her take you up there with one of her fingers, she'll let you know where the right spots are. :naughty:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe she's nervous or something.

    I know if I think I hear something coming up the stairs I tense up, you get so close then it subsides and you have to start all over again building it up. :impissed: :confused::lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Best thing to do is ask her!

    I boss my darling about like there is no tomorrow but he likes it. I think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my girl is the same way but she says it just takes a while for her...last time i got tired and fell asleep. haha

    What I did to get her to orgasm the first time was I listened to what she liked and I continued it. She said THAT in itself was a turn on because most guys do not listen and just do whatever. So listen to her and be patient. Do not be afraid to ask her if she likes it a certain way or not. Continue with the way she does like it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i was shit at fingerin lol wut im like 14 n ive done it so many times n shit but seriously
    let he show u how she wants it done n boi u best be gettin some tin after u do all da work fingerin her lol

    or simply one word
    buy her a dildo:D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    graffiti wrote: »
    i was shit at fingerin lol wut im like 14 n ive done it so many times n shit but seriously
    let he show u how she wants it done n boi u best be gettin some tin after u do all da work fingerin her lol

    or simply one word
    buy her a dildo:D

    omg?

    :crazyeyes
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel your pain! Took AGES for me and my boyfriend to get me to orgasm - mostly with me - I really trusted him, was really relaxed around him, was in love with him - but could NOT get used to the idea of orgasming in front of someone else, despite all that. And then you worry you won't orgasm, and that makes you not because you're worried, because you don't want the guy to feel he's not doing a good job, cos he is.
    Basically - tell her it DOESN'T MATTER if she doesn't orgasm, to just relax and get pleasure from it. She'll cum soon enough, provided you're actually doing it right. But you gotta take away the pressure to orgasm.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    graffiti wrote: »
    i was shit at fingerin lol wut im like 14 n ive done it so many times n shit but seriously
    let he show u how she wants it done n boi u best be gettin some tin after u do all da work fingerin her lol

    or simply one word
    buy her a dildo:D

    Mate. Type fucking English, you're coming a across like a complete fuck-tard - and I ain't no 'batty boy' you wannabe street-rat. :yeees:

    At 14, most girls will not have the confidence/lack of embarrassment to show you what they like, simple as.

    Have you tried oral? I've always found it better for both me and for her. :yum:


    Oh, and without pointing out your correctly spelled but miscounted words................................................. You should be able to take care of your lady, as well as her taking care of herself. Jesus. 14 indeed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It works well for me without me having to do any fingering.
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