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I love you? Rly need advice plz

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello. First post!
I need a little advice. I have been in a relationship with someone for 7 months now, and all is going well (touch wood). However, every so often I think about something I said to them 2 months ago, and it upsets me. I have pushed it to the back of my mind, but now I rly feel as though I have to get it off my chest otherwise I might explode.

Ok, so heres what happened. I decided (2 months ago), after plucking up the courage, to say that - "I Love you". I have been with people in the past, but never felt as strongly as I do about this person. I am not the type to say such things unless I rly rly mean it, which only makes there reply so much more hurtful. They responded (after a short pause), by saying - "dont say things you dont mean. Its to soon". This rly threw me, and upset me deeply. I was considering leaving them, but I like them so much I simply couldnt.

What does it generally mean when someone says that? I am not sure what to do next? Say it again and see what happens? Keep it inside until I explode? Or something else?

Any advice is appreciated.
Thank you

D:(

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DanYell wrote: »
    Ok, so heres what happened. I decided (2 months ago), after plucking up the courage, to say that - "I Love you". I have been with people in the past, but never felt as strongly as I do about this person. I am not the type to say such things unless I rly rly mean it, which only makes there reply so much more hurtful. They responded (after a short pause), by saying - "dont say things you dont mean. Its to soon". This rly threw me, and upset me deeply. I was considering leaving them, but I like them so much I simply couldnt.

    What does it generally mean when someone says that?

    She, personally, has not fallen in love with you yet and believes you can't fall in love within that timescale, but doesn't realise that some people do - and indeed you have. Maybe she thought you were just saying it to get into her knickers.

    I wouldn't repeat it just yet - save yourself the hurt and wait until she says it to you :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the advice:) . I just feel as though I need to tell them how much the response hurt me though, as I played it down at the time not to make myself seem to upset. I am not sure if I can keep it inside for much longer. I would have given anything for a response even slightly more positive than that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DanYell wrote: »
    Thanks for the advice:) . I just feel as though I need to tell them how much the response hurt me though, as I played it down at the time not to make myself seem to upset. I am not sure if I can keep it inside for much longer. I would have given anything for a response even slightly more positive than that.

    Did you try and reassure her, then, that you did mean it after she replied? Certainly tell her that the response hurt you, I'm sure she didn't mean to, but it might make her think about being more tactful with words in future.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Communication innit. If you still feel upset about what she said talk to her about it, explain your point of view and ask for hers.

    If she feels she cant say she loves you yet thats not the end of the world, its just different for different people.
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    budda wrote: »
    Communication innit. If you still feel upset about what she said talk to her about it, explain your point of view and ask for hers.

    If she feels she cant say she loves you yet thats not the end of the world, its just different for different people.

    :yes: you might find this article on saying I love you helpful - especially the section on

    Keep an open mind about their response:
    It's all too easy to get so caught up in how to deliver the line that you fail to see beyond it. Don't go assuming they'll respond in kind, however, and melt into your arms. It may come as a shock to them, or worse they might not feel the same way. Whatever the case, don't hold out for the best-case scenario. Unless, of course, you're prepared to wait until you know for sure that they feel the same way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's probable that Meryn is right to be honest, but also consider the posibility that she IS falling in love with you and is scared of her own feelings, trying to convince herself that it's too soon. That's what I did with my fella, and whilst I know it hurt him that I didn't immediately tell him I loved him too, it meant that I was able to say it to him once I'd got to grips with feeling so strongly.

    Personally I'd give it a little while and then try telling her again. If you get a similar response you can then discuss it, but I wouldn't drag up the issues from last time with no apparent provocation.

    Obviously if she tells you first, woohoo. But if you still get a negative response don't go chucking a girl you really like because of it. It's still a relatively young relationship, after all:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You know - I hate those three words for some reason.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel007 wrote: »
    You know - I hate those three words for some reason.

    How can you hate them? They're the most powerful words you can say, well apart from 'I hate you'.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    budda wrote: »
    How can you hate them? They're the most powerful words you can say, well apart from 'I hate you'.



    That's probably why I hate them. Too much power - especially if used 'incorrectly'.

    They're often said too lightly, or just to take advantage.

    Only when used with the person/peoples actually meaning it do I find them acceptable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel007 wrote: »
    That's probably why I hate them. Too much power - especially if used 'incorrectly'.

    They're often said too lightly, or just to take advantage.

    Only when used with the person/peoples actually meaning it do I find them acceptable.


    I soooo agree :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I soooo agree :)

    It makes me all warm and fuzzy when people agree :lol:;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    g_angel007 wrote: »
    That's probably why I hate them. Too much power - especially if used 'incorrectly'.

    They're often said too lightly, or just to take advantage.

    Only when used with the person/peoples actually meaning it do I find them acceptable.
    :yes:

    Absolutely.

    It's annoying that "I love you" is the strongest thing I can say to show how I feel, when it's been so overused that it almost means nothing now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for all the comments. I am just going to wait it out. I have only ever said "I love you" once in my entire life, and as said, it didnt go down to well. I dont want to risk saying it again in case I get the same response. I just hurt to much the first time round unfortunatly.
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