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i'm too shy

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've always been shy.
At the beginning of this year I was becoming to get more confident, causing me to be less shy and all round louder I guess.
But lately I've been becoming even more shyer, to the extent I can't talk to my new friends properly. Most of the people I used to be friends with don't talk to me much anymore, meaning I can't really open up and be myself like I used to.
I still have a couple of people I can be myself with, as well as family. But how can I come out of my shell?
I'm scared of what people will think of me, when I really shouldn't. I need to talk more and be myself.
Help me. It's tearing me up.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey tink :)

    If I were you I'd get one of my really good friends who you feel you can relax with to take you out- go somewhere new where there'll be new people.

    Why do you think it is that you're shy? Do you have low self esteem. or is it more of a personality thing?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've always been crap with new people. I just can't relax with people. I think it's abit of both actually, mostly personality. I kick myself because I can't bring myself to speak.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Remember, all friends were once strangers.

    You are a good person, it is their priviledge to have you as a friend. Have that mindset and you will find that confidence grows...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *is always like this as well*

    Tink - do you find after a while you're alright after meeting new people for the first time or not?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Other people are more worried about what YOU think of THEM than what they think of you.
    :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote: »
    *is always like this as well*

    Tink - do you find after a while you're alright after meeting new people for the first time or not?

    I talk to them abit more but I still find myself holding back.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you like who you are? x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I don't when I'm shy!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I understand that, i am just trying to see the bigger picture here, there must be a reason behind why you are shy and one of them reasons could be because you dont like who you are so therefore dont think anyone else will. However this is just one theory. When you are in a group for example do you feel that you have something in your head to say i.e a joke but are scared as to how people will respond??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When you are in a group for example do you feel that you have something in your head to say i.e a joke but are scared as to how people will respond??

    yeppppp.
    there's like theres something holding my back, i can feel it when i'm with people. i can't explain it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok well firstly you are 17 and so are still finding out who are so dont beat yourself up too much about it. Secondly its better to be shy than a right arrogant twat who thinks their the bees knees lol

    A couple of things you can try is to build a relationship with people on a more 1 on 1 level, talk to them about regular stuff, music, boys and you will find that you have lots in common or perhaps when you get that feeling where you are holding back to just say whatever is in your head, just throw it out there and take a risk and ya know what if they laugh they laugh if they dont and they dont find what your saying funny/interesting perhaps they are just not your sort of people. God i have been in loads of situations where i have said something and everybody has just given me that blank look!! lol

    You just need to go for it, what do you have to lose? xx
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    ElenaElena Deactivated Posts: 50 Boards Initiate
    Hi Tink :wave:,

    I’m a new moderator on the boards, and have just seen your post. I’m sorry to hear you’re finding things a bit tricky at the moment – it’s always tough when you feel like you can’t be yourself, particularly around your friends. It’s important to remember that, although it might seem like everyone around you is brimming with confidence, more often than not they’re probably feeling insecure and shy sometimes too.

    As Dobbin suggests, getting out and about and meeting new people with mates you feel comfortable with should help. You might also find it helpful to take a look at our factsheet on shyness which gives hints and tips on how to go about boosting your confidence.

    Remember, you can always be yourself here.

    Take care,

    S x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep, I'm exactly the same when meeting new people. You should have seen me on my first day in my current job. (I work in an arcade) I don't think I said a word to anyone other than the manager all day. I was petrified of saying anything to anyone. But this is how I dealt with it. The second day at work, I talked to a different person. (mainly because the manager was going out, and leaving our supervisor in charge, but any excuse will do) Slowly but surely, I started talking to different people.

    I think that's an approach which can be extended outside the workplace as well.
    Sarah Lou wrote: »
    Hi Tink :wave:,
    I’m a new moderator on the boards...
    *nearly has heart attack* Waah! Not another one. At this rate, there'll be more moderators than users on the boards... :p
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