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Teacher and student!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, this may sound weird....basically, there is this man, he used to be my teacher at college, we have all left now. He is so gorgeous, all the girls fancied him including me but I never thought anymore of it because he was my teacher. We had a night out for us leaving and he was there with some other teachers. Us girls got ready and the first thing he said to me was 'wow you look nice'!! We was then crossing the road and he held my hand. At this point I was just thinking we were having a giggle around!! Anyway, things started progressing, we ended up having a little dance and ended up staying at his place, nothing happened like that, we just fell asleep in each ovas arms. The next day we kinda acted as nothing happened, slightly akward, however he started asking questions about me, like the usual 'getting to know each other' stage!! Everyone including the other teacers have said he likes me. I don't really know how to take it, he is 32, i am 18, thats 14 years gap. Is that ok? And plus how do i know if he has real feelings for me? Ever since I have been left with butterflies and whenever I bump into him, it brings the feelings back :crying:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aslong as he is no longer your teacher and your both over 18, I can really see any problems with it. Talk to him and find out if he likes your etc and take it from there.

    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Age gap is only an issue if you make it out to be one. I see no problem if he's not your teacher any more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you are lucky. i fancied my art teacher like crazy, he is 16 years older than me. there was a time when he came quite close in the pub , at the bar, but that was it.
    i'm just wondering...do your parents know?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't see a problem with it. Of course parent's evening might be a bit weird :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you're 18 and finished no problems, as he isn't breaking the law in regards to a position of trust and you seem sane enough to me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    RubberSkin wrote: »
    I don't see a problem with it. Of course parent's evening might be a bit weird :D

    Ha Ha, aslong as it isnt like that Little Britain sketch. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does it not bother you that *everyone* in the school/community will talk/gossip about you negatively behind your back? Or does your personal reputation not matter to you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    Does it not bother you that *everyone* in the school/community will talk/gossip about you negatively behind your back? Or does your personal reputation not matter to you?

    I doubt it does, it just matters to YOU Jomery. Why should anyone care what other people think, I'd rather be happy then miss out on something because of the thought of what some low life may say about me behind my back.

    You must miss out on A LOT of things due to what people may think of you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote: »
    I doubt it does, it just matters to YOU Jomery. Why should anyone care what other people think, I'd rather be happy then miss out on something because of the thought of what some low life may say about me behind my back.

    You must miss out on A LOT of things due to what people may think of you.
    A friend of mine started dating her teacher when she went into 6th form. Gets gossiped about a lot behind her back, and a fair bit of stick to her face. When there's plenty more fish in the sea and most girls could have a fair share of options, why put yourself through that?? I somewhat doubt the girl in the thread, who must be nice/attractive if an attractive teacher liked her over her friends, doesn't have other just-as-good choices.

    This whole "why should anyone care what other people think" thing I find so bizarre, surely you'd rather people think you're a legend than a loser? Surely you'd not find it nice thinking people are talking negatively about you behind your back?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So if you had the option of being with someone who really made you happy but the odd loser spread some shit about you OR someone who didn't make you happy but everyone thought you were the dogs bollox for being with, you'd rather take the second option because it makes you look better?

    I find that really sad if so.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote: »
    So if you had the option of being with someone who really made you happy but the odd loser spread some shit about you OR someone who didn't make you happy but everyone thought you were the dogs bollox for being with, you'd rather take the second option because it makes you look better?

    I find that really sad if so.
    Easily the second option, because the gained respect and popularity from peers would overall make me 'happy', whereas with your first example being paranoid and insecure what people are saying about me behind my back would overall make me 'unhappy'.

    But like I said for most people it's not like there's only one person who can possibly make them 'happy' with so many million fish in the sea. I'm sure the OP could find someone their own age who could make them happy so why choose to be gossiped about?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't even be bothered to argue my point here because it's a waste of time trying to make you understand, your view on things is just beyond me.

    Maybe step back and take a look at yourself, the things you say on this board are more shocking and make you look much worse as a person than going out with a teacher would.

    Anyway this isn't the issue in question.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I certainly remember one or two of my teachers. I fancied one of my lecturers when I was at college. Put it this way - I would now happily go back to her place for a personal tutorial. :naughty: Anyway, I see no problems here. He's not your teacher anymore, after all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Squeal wrote:
    I can't even be bothered to argue my point here because it's a waste of time trying to make you understand, your view on things is just beyond me.
    I'm happy to hear your arguments because I'm curious how reputation can't matter to you when it's so integral to your life - how shitty would it feel, hitting your confidence and self-esteem, if nobody wants to go to your birthday party, or hang out with you, because they think you're a loser/weird? How upsetting would it be if a guy you like won't go out with you because he's heard rumours you're a slag?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Eh? So what's your problem here then numb nuts? Surely you would be though of as a legend for bagging the fit teacher, and therefore it would be a pretty good 'reputation' move anyway?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    ...I'm curious how reputation can't matter when it's so integral to your life - how shitty would it feel, hitting your confidence and self-esteem, if nobody wants to go to your birthday party, or hang out with you, because they think you're a loser/weird? How upsetting would it be if a guy you like won't go out with you because he's heard rumours you're a slag?
    You worry far too much about what other people think. Only the opinions of friends and family truly matter. If anyone else speaks negatively of you, they should be told to fuck off.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    I'm happy to hear your arguments because I'm curious how reputation can't matter to you when it's so integral to your life - how shitty would it feel, hitting your confidence and self-esteem, if nobody wants to go to your birthday party, or hang out with you, because they think you're a loser/weird? How upsetting would it be if a guy you like won't go out with you because he's heard rumours you're a slag?

    I wouldn't give a fuck, the point is you do what makes YOU happy, if people want to gossip about you then fair enough let them, not everyone is as pathetic as that.

    In the above case many people would be pleased that the girl has found someone that makes her happy, 14 years older and her ex teacher or not. A few weeks of people gossiping is nothing compared to a possible life time of happiness, plus such people that talk behind your back aren't worth your time anyway.

    You must just socialise with he wrong people, maybe your high class possibly stuck up friends may think such things but not everyone is like that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    You worry far too much about what other people think. Only the opinions of friends and family truly matter. If anyone else speaks negatively of you, they should be told to fuck off.
    I'm talking about friends rather than randoms. A good rep will help you make new friends (like-minded people will want to get to know you, and this could make you much 'happier' in life eg if you collaborate and set up a successful business later on) and retain your current friends (who may start to distance themselves from you, or have little digs themself, which even if in jest are not nice).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    I'm happy to hear your arguments because I'm curious how reputation can't matter to you when it's so integral to your life - how shitty would it feel, hitting your confidence and self-esteem, if nobody wants to go to your birthday party, or hang out with you, because they think you're a loser/weird? How upsetting would it be if a guy you like won't go out with you because he's heard rumours you're a slag?

    Or you could see it as a good chance to find out who your real friends are, the ones who can see beyond the gossip and tittle tattle and who'll fight your corner.

    It might seem a bit unusual at first, but if they happen to be anything even approaching a good friend, then as long as it's bringing a smile to your face then they won't give a fuck and they'll be happy that you're happy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    A friend of mine started dating her teacher when she went into 6th form. Gets gossiped about a lot behind her back, and a fair bit of stick to her face.
    But that's a completely different situation anyway. Teachers are breaking the law and can/will get sent to prison and listed on the offenders register if they end up shagging a sixth former. Any gossip in this case is only healthy as it might stop people from completely messing up their lives over a quick shag.

    In the case of the OP, she's left and so, as far as the law is concerned, there is nothing wrong with what they're doing. My only advice would be to leave it for a while, just to make sure that the attraction is just based on the 'he's my teacher and it's so exciting' thing. As for the age gap, it shouldn't matter but it can do. Some people change a lot as they get older and other people don't. Just don't rush into things. Enjoy being friends first and then build it from there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    Does it not bother you that *everyone* in the school/community will talk/gossip about you negatively behind your back? Or does your personal reputation not matter to you?

    I think you'll find that most people on here won't care what others think. I for one certainly don't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, I will tell you what is wrong with your relationship - you are 18, you are presumably still a student, you have to grow as a student living through that life, through starting your career etc. You should find someone to grow with you. He is a fully qualified teacher now, he has his life and agenda which is different to yours.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Legally nothing wrong with it. But i just find the whole teacher/student thing very weird indeed. As much as the whole boss/colleague thing. When one person has the "power" and the other doesn't. How weird is that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    This whole "why should anyone care what other people think" thing I find so bizarre, surely you'd rather people think you're a legend than a loser? Surely you'd not find it nice thinking people are talking negatively about you behind your back?

    How old are you Jomery?

    It doesn't matter what other people think. If they're gonna judge you on stupid things then they're obviously not worth hanging out with anyway. Too many people are so up their own arse and bitchy and intrusive in other people's lives that it's hard to believe that they have the time to tend to their own ever exciting lives.

    Speaking from personal experience... I'm a straight talker, I say what I think and I usually don't sugar coat it. This has got me enemies, but at the same time it's got me respect. I would rather get respect off a few people for who I really am than a false respect from more people because of who I'm not.

    As for the original point... Do wha you wanna do and don't give a shit what anyone thinks. It's your life and the people who are mature, intelligent, or cool enough to respect that are the only people worth hanging out with. Imo of course

    You'll never know what he feels because you're not him, but he seems to like you so far. I'd see how it goes, keep your guard up and keep smilng.
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