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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Saw Dr today, got 2 months worth of antidepressants at 10mg, but he said to come back after my exams, and they may get decreased down to 5mg. Which is goooooood :) Talked a lot with the boyf today too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your not pathetic or a waste of peoples time-and you definitly would not be better off dead
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shadow - That is what happens when you feel so down. When i felt like that, other people didnt even enter my mind till it was too late, that when I then felt guilty. What has happened that's really silly?
    I use to justify things in my mind.."its ok if i do this because..." but when something had happened, the justification didnt work.
    Just stick with things hun, they will improve when the time is right.

    If you want to cry hun, just cry, it will help you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You will be fine, just don't beat yourself up for things that have happened..pick yourself up and start again. And yes I know its easy for me to say, but harder to do..just give yourself time and treat yourself how you'd treat a friend if they told you..i'v struggled with things on and off for nealy 9 years (that sounds a long time, but it doesnt feel that long really) and its only now that i'm understanding things, why I did it, how I felt, and things like that. The time will come for you too..when the time is right, and one day everything will just start to fall in to place.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You didn't do anything serious, did you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats ok, so it happened..you cant vhange the fact that it did happen, so just move on from it. All the guilt will only make things worse for you..it did for me.
    Think about what made you and use it to start again.
    I started over so many times I felt like just giving up, some days are harder than others and its always going to be easier to harm than not to, but thats life. Even now, when I feel down, I stil have feelings about harming,but its easier to cope with and tho the feelings are there, I dont really struggle with it now.
    I thought i'd never stop, but I have, and one day you will too.
    Keep your chin up x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    are you ok shadow?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shadow wrote: »
    Iv done it again. I did it both times with a compass. Honestly though i deserve to be put up for adoption i waste everyones time and im better off in care im useless and need to grow up when people make suggestions i dont do it because im stupid.

    You don't deserve to be put up for adoption. You probably do need help though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you in contact with anyone to get you help (counsellor, nhs, etc) shadow? It might help you a lot if you can find some trained support.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not sure what you mean by selfish, or what you feel sorry for, but the truth is that help is out there that will improve your situation and make things much better for you, and reassure your parents that something is being done to help you.

    I'd suggest speaking to someone, the issues that are leading to you self-harming clearly aren't going to be resolved without you deciding to deal with them. Maybe speaking to someone at a support service over the telephone about what your options might be, as that obviously won't require your parents knowing what is going on. Have a look at the numbers on our helpline page

    http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/helplines
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i hope your ok shadow-take care of yourself please

    why is fighting this so hard-dont feel i can fight anymore feel i need to give in but that if i do i wont ever start fighting again-why do i feel so rubbish why cant i just be ok-im sorry i know i shouldnt be feeling sorry for myself sorry
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shadow - you're really sounding like me.

    Anyway, I slipped up last night. (after just over 3 weeks of being fine) :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you ok sofie?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know what u mean about not tellin ne1. i found that when i tried to talk and i mean really talked to sum1 about how i was feelin they eitehr wudnt let me go home or told my parents neither or which i wanted. at the end of the day if we're gna harm or commit suicide we'll find a way regardless sum of the worse times i harmed was when i was in hosp bcoz i didnt have my usual shit n broke glasses n stuff to get a sharp edge which wasnt sanitary at all. guess what im tryin to say is i know how ur feeling
    xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hyper person wrote: »
    you ok sofie?

    Not too bad thanks. Just very sore atm.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i wish i could get out of this loop
    i wish i didnt have to keep fighting to stop
    i cant keep fighting i cant
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i cant i really cant-everyone telling me im strong and to carry on to be but im not strong im rubbish

    you ok shadow?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not a big deal after all

    apologies for any problems.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you ok johnny?

    (cant cope anymore need to harm)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pretty much, just really disappointed with myself.
    whats up with you HP?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    johnnyboy503 wrote: »
    Not a big deal after all

    apologies for any problems.

    Whats happened then? How have you managed to sort things?

    :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Calvin wrote: »
    Whats happened then? How have you managed to sort things?

    I tried to sort it, Really I tried but my efforts made no difference whatsoever.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just trying to fight urge to self harm and everyone expecting me to be strong when im not

    im sorry

    what happened johnny?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know what you mean HP. its hard but you just have to think: why provide 5 minutes of cutting to try and make yourself feel better when this time next week your gonna reget doing it because A) its gonna hurt B)your gonna have to hide it and C) you will think it was a silly thing to do.

    Just take it easy on yourself. :)

    Me: Its hard to even type or think about but I am VERY worried about my future, put it that way. (plus I don't want to bring anyone else down)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry johnny you gonna be ok?

    i just hate myself so much all i do is hurt people
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know.

    HP: your a really nice girl and I haven't seen you hurt anyone.

    don't beat yourself up please. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im rubbish i suck and im a failure as a person

    im sorry just hate myself

    take care of yourself johnny please
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    whats up shadow?

    i dont want to live-everyone be better off without me
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    johnnyboy503 wrote: »
    I tried to sort it, Really I tried but my efforts made no difference whatsoever.

    Whats happened then? Is it as bad as you think ? Feel free to drop me a PM with the details.

    :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    johnnyboy503 wrote: »
    I know what you mean HP. its hard but you just have to think: why provide 5 minutes of cutting to try and make yourself feel better when this time next week your gonna reget doing it because A) its gonna hurt B)your gonna have to hide it and C) you will think it was a silly thing to do.

    Just take it easy on yourself. :)

    Me: Its hard to even type or think about but I am VERY worried about my future, put it that way. (plus I don't want to bring anyone else down)

    ive been in the very worried about future boat (still am kind of but just taking everything as it comes!).. maybe for different reasons than you, but it definitely helps to at least tell someone or write it down!
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