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Nosey or just care too much?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I seem to have this problem with my mates (one in particular these days) where I don't get told their problems. Like, they can tell other people but clam up when I ask about it.
I will admit I'm a straightforward, no-nonsense person. I have a bit of a temper when it comes to people hurting other people (breakups etc) and I think that's one of the problems that people are scared I'll go off on one.
I honestly don't do this to be nosey. I just like to know what's going on so I can help out and be there for people but it just seems I'm not the kind of person people can tell their problems to
I will admit I'm a straightforward, no-nonsense person. I have a bit of a temper when it comes to people hurting other people (breakups etc) and I think that's one of the problems that people are scared I'll go off on one.
I honestly don't do this to be nosey. I just like to know what's going on so I can help out and be there for people but it just seems I'm not the kind of person people can tell their problems to
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Comments
Of course this trust often goes hand in hand with the quality with a friendship, because it's not cool if you want to be a honest friend to a person and this person just sees you as a everyday-mate to banter with.
Maybe you are confiding too less in people? I had this problem with one of my best mates. I said to him one night a few years ago when we were both drunk that I virtually know very little about him and he said, "well, that's probably because you never tell me anything, etc..."
Maybe it's a kind of security, a "pawn" to know something delicate about a person to feel better, because he knows something delicate about you, but on the other hand it might just be that it's really a weird feeling when someone knows you inside out and you know very little about that person.
Are you known to gossip secrets around? I did a few times this mistake of confiding in people again who talked my stuff around, but it's not happening anymore, if you can't shut up about it, I won't confide in you anymore.
In my teens I thought it was the ultimate power to know all the secrets about the hot girls and sometimes behaved really obtrusive/nosey about it, and well, you know it was counterproductive. Nowadays I know, there is a beauty in having a bad mood and someone who tries to cheer you up and not know every single detail of it (maybe just ask on the side), and I feel if you are behaving like that too to people and they open up to you on their OWN behalf, that's practically the jackpot.
So, can't give you a conclusion of this trainwreck of a post, but most of my thoughts about it are somewhere packaged in here.