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Confused-help-advice-anything pls

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Erm... ok so been together with this guy for 7yrs ish, we met at school at 16, ive done my 3yrs of being away at uni, we had a few months apart 2yrs ago now where we didnt talk at all but then found we needed eachother too much. So tried to be just friends for a few months but was like torture and ended up getting back together.

Now weve been back together just over a year now, things have been ok, well great really, been the odd moment here and there but everyone gets those. The one thing thats gotten me if that neither of us have mentioned how we feel about eachother.

We had a chat last night and its left me feeling crap and like i shouldnt have said anything and just kept it too myself. I asked how he felt and it opened up a lot of things. I love him so much and really dont wanna lose him.

Apparently i dont want him to have any friends and so hes said he wont go out any more and see them and that. He loves cars and so alot of his friends dont live around here so he has to go visit them away from here. He was ment to be going camping with them in a week or two but said he wont bother now cus ill go arsy. If i do then i dont realise. i apparently ask loads of questions about where hes going and who with etc. I get 2days a month where neither of us wonk and can spend the time together, these are usually spent with his mates and me stuck at home. I understand that it just so happens that the things arranged are on the days we have together but it anoys me at times. he seems to think im controlling, if i am ive never realised i was. He says that its ok for me to go out with my mates but as son as he goes to see his i go arsy.

He loves me too other wise he wouldnt be with me he says, but im not asking him to give up his friends and life just for me. I feel flattered almost that he would give up everything because he loves me so much but thats not what i want or am asking for. id never want him to be unhappy.

i dont no what to do, or what to read into it.
(sorry for babbling on)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like he's acting like a dick. If he doesn't go camping then when he's with you instead then he'll resent you the whole time he's not there, and it'll cause a massive argument.

    Do you have a problem with him having his mates, or is it all in his head? I'd explain to him that you don't want him to be unhappy, and it's just you being interested in him by asking all the questions.

    Have a big heart to heart with him about it, and try not to let it get you down.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know that as you say hell resent me if he doesnt go away, but its getting it through his thick skull that im not trying to keep him away from his friends.

    I dont have a problem with his mates, im just a little weary of female friends. When we were apart he was involved with someone else ( that wasnt anything to do with why we split) and when we got together again she tryed to make a lot of problems for us. Its my problem if im insecure or jelous of female friends, ive gotta work on that i know.

    I just feel like the big bad wolf if this is how its making him feel.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MsMinxy wrote: »
    I know that as you say hell resent me if he doesnt go away, but its getting it through his thick skull that im not trying to keep him away from his friends.

    I dont have a problem with his mates, im just a little weary of female friends. When we were apart he was involved with someone else ( that wasnt anything to do with why we split) and when we got together again she tryed to make a lot of problems for us. Its my problem if im insecure or jelous of female friends, ive gotta work on that i know.

    I just feel like the big bad wolf if this is how its making him feel.

    Well it's good that you're working on the insecurity thing, but he needs to understand that it takes time. You can only tell him so many times that you aren't wanting to keep him away from his friends, if he wants to be arsey about it then it's his problem y'know?

    Give him a wee while to cool off, then see if he's out of the mood he seems to be in.
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