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am I being paranoid and selfish?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
ok, i have this issue with people just walking into my room and picking things up, ANYONE that is!! it could be my sister, my mom...anyone!! in my new flat i don't have a lock on my door. my flatmate of 3 years has this knack of just going into my room n borrowing things...it used to be things like ear rings..which is fine with me as long as get em' back!! but today she'd walked in n tried this new top of mine n called me to ask me if she could borrow it. now i've borrowed her cardigan...but i asked her while she was in the flat, n if she wasn't i wouldnt go into her room n try her things on!!!

I HATE it when she does that!!..like the other day when she opened my box of cereal!!!..i mean WTF man?!!!...i just like my personal space..n my room is MY territory...thats the way i feel anyways. but am i being paranoid? i'm thinknig of sitting her down and telling her nicely to not to try my stuff on when im not in the flat!! any opinions?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    at home i get it and it pisses me off.

    At uni if someone walked into my room and tried my stuff on I'd be livid, such an invasion of privacy - unless you've given her prior permission to go in etc. you just don't randomly go into someone elses room.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At uni I didn't mind my housemates taking stuff from my room etc. We all borrowed each others stuff. But we all knew we could trust eachother as we has some unwritten rules between us.

    If it makes you feel uncomfortable, then have a word with your housemate. Its your room and your stuff. The reason he/she takes things from your room without asking will be because the rules aren't clear, you don't have to be nasty, but just explain you would rather they didn't go borrowing things from your room without asking you first. Once they understand where you stand on the matter the situation will improve.

    :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If people started wondering around my room and using my stuff, I'd go fucking apeshit.
    I go nuts at my parents if they even enter my room without knocking.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This would piss me off too, nip it in the bud, tell her nicely like you said and just make it clear that you don't want her going into your room trying stuff on or picking stuff up without asking first. I would still consider getting a lock on your room, or else setting up a webcam with an auto sensor to record anyone going into your room!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm a bit funny about my room. I *hate* people going in it so my door is always closed and has been for the whole three years I've been at uni. Its not being unsociable as I spend most of the time in either their rooms or the living room when I am actually in the flat anyway. I wouldn't mind my flat mates lending some of my things. HOWEVER, I would have to go and get it out of my room, not them. I'm sure they would hate me walking into their rooms too tbh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My sister just takes what she want from my room and it fucking pisses me off big style. But thats my sister so it's different to the OP's situation.

    Urm, ok this post is no help :razz:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It really depends. In uni we all borrow each others menial stuff and no one minds but if someone walked in and started texting away on my phone or something, then I'd go mad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pill 'ed wrote: »
    If people started wondering around my room and using my stuff, I'd go fucking apeshit.

    agreed.
    but if you are doing it to her aswell, she probably thinks that justifies what she does. if you don't want her to do it, avoid doing it yourself, and talk to / yell at her about it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is your right to have some personal space. Communicating with the 'borrower' is the best option methinks...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tinydancer wrote: »
    ok, i have this issue with people just walking into my room and picking things up, ANYONE that is!! it could be my sister, my mom...anyone!! in my new flat i don't have a lock on my door. my flatmate of 3 years has this knack of just going into my room n borrowing things...it used to be things like ear rings..which is fine with me as long as get em' back!! but today she'd walked in n tried this new top of mine n called me to ask me if she could borrow it. now i've borrowed her cardigan...but i asked her while she was in the flat, n if she wasn't i wouldnt go into her room n try her things on!!!

    I HATE it when she does that!!..like the other day when she opened my box of cereal!!!..i mean WTF man?!!!...i just like my personal space..n my room is MY territory...thats the way i feel anyways. but am i being paranoid? i'm thinknig of sitting her down and telling her nicely to not to try my stuff on when im not in the flat!! any opinions?


    well you are related, think it's kinda nice she feels comfortable enough with you to borrow your stuff.

    There's borrowing and taking the piss stuff, at Uni I'd eat my food and wash up right away and dry and put everything in my draw.


    I'd come back from lessons to find my flat mates had taken my clean plates and used them and left them on the sink along with all their unwashed crap. That's taking the piss, in effect it meant I was washing my own plates twice .. in the end after they kept doing it and asking them not to I used to keep my plates and cutlery in my room and bring it out and return it as and when.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for all the adivce guys...i did talk to her nicely. i waited til i'd calmed down so that i could....she aplogized i don't think she realised that it did piss me off....
    i just said that she could borro anything she wanted to provided i was in the flat at that particular time...that's not too much to ask eh?:)
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