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Teenage drug abuser
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Does anyone out there have any advise for a
single mom that wants to know what to do for
her daughter, 15yrs. old that has a drug and alcohol problem. She also cuts herself, among
other things. If she doesn't think she has a problem, or want to stop, am I just beating a dead horse trying to get her into some kind of treatment?? Please advise!
Thanks,
Sue
jn26@mindspring.com
single mom that wants to know what to do for
her daughter, 15yrs. old that has a drug and alcohol problem. She also cuts herself, among
other things. If she doesn't think she has a problem, or want to stop, am I just beating a dead horse trying to get her into some kind of treatment?? Please advise!
Thanks,
Sue
jn26@mindspring.com
0
Comments
Hi Hellohilo (great name)
Sounds like a horrible situation to be in, my children are only 5 & 7 so as yet I haven't had to worry about things like that.
So my advise is purely speculative, but I thought I'd get the ball rolling.
You might alienate your daughter if you try to push her into treatment, but then again...she may thank you for it later on in life. What is your current relationship with her like?
There have been some previous postings from people who "self-harm" I'll try to find some for you & post the link/s later, and there are plenty of posts about drugs!!
What sort of drugs does she have a problem with, or rather, at this stage, do you have a problem with?
I hope that you get some response from other people on the board, I'm sure you will.
by the way, how did you find your way to TheSite ?
J9 <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
I hope that Lolly sees your question, she may be able to give you some insight.
Good luck
J9
Thanx j9j9, will try my best to give u some help.
Im only 18 myself but was quite bably on drugs and self harmed too. I know how the poor girl must b feeling and also her mum (is that u??) as I saw what it did to my mum.
The real problem isnt the drugs or self harm, there must b something else underlying and as soon as that gets sorted then the rest will follow. Thats why its important to get her into some kind of treatment.
Its really difficult though, coz only she can really help herself. I strongly advise u to look into getting her some hospital treatment. My mum put me in an adolescent psychiatric unit and it was the best thing she could have done for me (although I didnt see that while I was there).I blamed her and hated her while I was in there, but when I got better I soon realised why she done it and Im sure she will too.
Unfortunatly the place itself didnt work miracles and I still had problems after, they cant offer a guaranteed recovery!
But just being in there, even though I didnt work with them, made me see how important life is. Being in a ghospital all day everyday has that effect!
I hope this has been a bit helpfull. Just talk to her first and try and get her to get help herself, failing that u should get the help for her.
Ill keep my fingers crossed for u both <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
Now shes off pretty much everything n sorted herself out real good.
A lot of us were messed up with drugs, she seemed to get herself in an older crowd, an older boyfriend who didnt treat her right n started to get the psycological shit.
I'm not sure thers much u can do about it, let the schol know for a start cos I know she ot a lot of help from there.
It's a difficult situation to be in as a ,other cos I know she wont listen, u cn try doing n e thing but I doubt she'll listen n the more she gets told what to do the more she'll rebel against it.
If she wont go to therapy. mayb u shpuld and ask advice from a professional about the problem cos ther's drug abuse which is one thing but the cutting is totally another, Id be more worried bout the cuting than the drugs simply cos I been on drugs and a lot of my friends were, n didnt have to many problems, but the other girl she seemed totally different to us, her family tried loads of stuff, she left home, dont know n e thing from what happened after she left school.
I really would seek professional help though n if that comes up with nothing force her into to care, sounds harsh but will be best for her.
I think it is great when people have parents who really want to help thier children through problems.
Good Luck and I hope everything goes OK for you and your family.
xxx
<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
I notice that you live in the US, which presents some problems for you. You don't have universal (free) healthcare like we do on Canada and the UK. I hope you have insurance that will cover your daughter's treatment, because rehab programs cost $20,000 plus for a one month residential program.(At least that what they cost when I lived in the States and was looking for treatment.
Assuming you can get treatment for her, force her to do it. She is still a minor, and you are responsible for her. Yes, she will resist, but she obviously needs help and is unaware of it.Would you rather have a child who resents you temporarily, or have a dead child? Get help.
Also, I would suggest looking for a "concurrent disorders" program (sometimes called "dual diagnosis" programs. These treat both the addictions and the psychiatric conditions at the same time.
I am currently in one here in Canada, and it is wonderful.
Good luck, and keep us up to date.
Thanks again,
Much love,
SUE
jn26@mindspring.com
I was abusing solvents and cutting myself when I was in school because I was being bullied.
I've had councilling for a year now and I've found that most of my problems stemmed down to depression. Maybe your daughter has a similar problem?
I know all that can help. Everybody's different though.
I am just beside myself! I can't get her to get up for school, she wants to die, and I do too! I can't take the stress of seeing her hurting herself, and flushing her life down the toilet. You can only miss 10 days per semester here, and she is way over that. So I feel as though she is throwing her future away. Should I just ???????????/
Thanks,
Sue
(You all are much better advise givers then the USA)
jn26@mindspring.com
ur daughter wont like it but u can get a better picture of whats going on, n let her friends know whats really going on. They'll probably tell her to sort it out... n if it's coming from both sides she might listen.
Have u spoken to the school yet?? If not u really got to, let them know whats going on.. they'll offer advice n give her special concessions b4 chucking her out.
seriously.
Keep the Vibe!
If you can't get her professional help, maybe she really needs to get away from it all for a bit? Not necessarily actually travel somewhere completely different (though it might help), just not go to school, do some different stuff - new sport or volunteer work, can make u feel good - and have time to settle down and relax.
It's probably worth talking to teachers at her school anyway (if you haven't already) and you could find out whether it's feasible just to skip a year and carry on later. This might be a good idea anyway seeing as she's missed so much already. Don't worry too much about education etc. and her future right now, it's less important than her happiness and she can always carry on later.
How old is she again? Im sure that being under 18 means that u can get her admitted somewhere whenter she likes it or not? I was threatened with being sectioned and so I ended up admitting myself as I really didnt fancy being sectioned. Im not sure about how things go in America in terms of sectioning. Maybe u could find out?
I really feel for u with all of this as I no its so hard but u have to stay strong for her because if U crumble then she will most definatly follow. That sounds like a big thing to put on u but its true, u need to be there for her and encourage her coz it feels so lonely when u get as low as your daughter is (trust me, I no).