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How Do I Know When I'm Ready?

About 4-5 weeks ago, a friend of mine decided that he couldn't talk to me. (he didn't tell me why) He decided to ignore anything I tried to tell him until a few weeks ago when I asked when is he likely to start talking to me again. All he said was 'when you stop acting the way you do with me, I might consider it.' He told me that if I really had anything to say to him, then I'd have to email him.

On Friday, I emailed him asking him to talk to me again, but on Saurday emailed him again and told him not to bother because I'm not too sure if I'm ready yet.

The thing is, I really do want to start talking to him again but I don't know if I'm ready yet. How do I know when I'm ready?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm confused! why arent you 2 speaking? he's only a friend right? deciding if you should speak to a friend or not shouldnt be this much of a big deal to be honest! sounds a strange situation!

    but what ever has gone on, no one can tell you when you're ready, you'll just know

    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have no idea why he decided that he wasn;t going to talk to me - like I said, he hasn't told me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote: »
    but what ever has gone on, no one can tell you when you're ready, you'll just know

    :yes:.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote: »
    I have no idea why he decided that he wasn;t going to talk to me - like I said, he hasn't told me.

    ask him?

    to be honest sof, he doesnt sound like a very good friend, from what i gathered on here, you're going through some emotional things right now, and he should be there for you, not stressing you out more!

    i think he needs to give his head a wobble!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote: »
    ask him?

    I've done that at least wtice in the last few weks.
    to be honest sof, he doesnt sound like a very good friend, from what i gathered on here, you're going through some emotional things right now, and he should be there for you, not stressing you out more!

    I know that. But he did tell me a few months ago that it wasn't possibe for him to be around that often.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not being around and "not speaking with no explanation" are different things

    if he isnt speaking to you, he really owes you an explanation why!

    relationships like this are unhealthy sof, cut dead wood out of you life

    if he doesnt shape up, and shape up fast, i really wouldnt bother

    you need his support, not his childishness! x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote: »
    you need his support, not his childishness! x

    I know that but I also understand that this isn't easy for him either - which looks like the reason why he's decided that he won't talk to me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sod him tbh - i used to have a friend that would throw wobblies with me for no reason and wouldn't talk to me. I dunno why i was her friend for so long!
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hi Sofie,
    I'm sorry to hear your friend has stopped talking to you, and left you with this ultimatum.

    In any kind of relationship where one person has the upper hand, things can become awkward and one person is bound to get hurt. In this case it sounds like you're the one who is likely to get hurt because you are unsure of why your friend is behaving like he is. The thing is, it sounds like you're ready to speak to him, but you're (quite rightly) anxious about how he might respond. Because the following:
    'when you stop acting the way you do with me, I might consider it.'

    Doesn't seem to offer much reassurance.

    There's a danger that the longer this scenario continues, the longer you are going to suffer. It sounds like he was a very good friend to you at a certain stage, but has failed to live up to that in recent months. Unfortunately sometimes friendships, like love relationships, can come to a natural end, and I guess it's up to you to decide whether or not what you have left of this friendship is worth your time and energy.

    I hope you're ok.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote: »
    I know that but I also understand that this isn't easy for him either - which looks like the reason why he's decided that he won't talk to me.

    so? its YOU having the hard time and he should be there for you, not throw a hissy fit!

    course its not easy for him, no friend would like to see their mate upset and in pain, but mates are there for each other regardless hun
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just got an email from him (about something unrelated to this) and when I asked him why he won't talk to me, he said:
    'You say you want to talk to me but it usually ends up just as wanting me to give you free music.'
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,283 Skive's The Limit
    He sounds like cock to me.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :confused:

    Although I stopped talking to some people (although not as bluntly) when they never seemed to take an interest in me, and just wanted my help with the maths assignments. But I'd only known them a few weeks, so it wasn't a major thing.

    Have you had a relationship in the past? maybe he has unresolved feelings
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No. Nothing like that has ever happened between us.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He's being -very- childish. You should tell him that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Finally spoke to him on Friday. He has now decided that he will talk to me but is acting as though nothing has happened :confused: which is fine but weird.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    -very- strange. perhaps he was attention seeking, or something bad had happened to him and he was taking it all out on you - and now he doesnt want to talk about it because he doesnt want to remember ^^
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Interesting. However, I've never known him to do anything like this before.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From what I have read this guy sounds like he could be quite manipulative and controlling. I am sure he has been a really good friend to you but to ask you to stop acting in a certain way and then not giving you an explanation of what it is you are doing wrong and to just decide that he is no longer going to talk to you, is not a healthy friendship. It's one sided and extremely manipulative, I think it is very unfair of him to make you feel like you have been doing something wrong without justifying that with an explanation.

    As Helen mentioned, friends often do go their seperate ways and friendships can run there courses like relationships. I would suggest that you take a step back from the situation ,in my opinion you have done nothing wrong and this person seems to be preying on your vulnarabilities.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mentioned something about calling it off a while back but he told me no.

    Oh well, doesn't really matter now - we seem fine for now.
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