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help plz

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i posted this on another thread but i thought posting it here i might get good advice

i started going out with this really nice guy 4 days ago and we are really happy 2gether. im 16 and hes 18. he has asked me to get engaged to him and move in with him and i really want to say yes. the onli trouble is my fuc*in parents wont approve. but i love him and dont want to upset him

what do i do?!

plz help
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Comments

  • JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    You only need to post it once ya know :)

    Try to stick in the right area please, makes things a lot easier for everyone :)

    I have no useful advice at all as I'm an idiot.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i posted this on another thread but i thought posting it here i might get good advice

    i started going out with this really nice guy 4 days ago and we are really happy 2gether. im 16 and hes 18. he has asked me to get engaged to him and move in with him and i really want to say yes. the onli trouble is my fuc*in parents wont approve. but i love him and dont want to upset him

    what do i do?!

    plz help

    Say no.

    Far too young.

    Far too quick.

    Far too scary, IMO.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't try to run before you can walk.

    Four days isn't enough time to know whether you like his taste in music, have the same opinion on the Euro and can withstand minor bickering and arguing... let alone enough time to know whether - or even reasonably expect that - you're compatible enough to live together ;)

    My advice would be to forget ALL ABOUT engagement for the moment. You're probably damn right that your parents wouldn't approve, but for very valid reasons that you're simply too swept off your feet to be able to understand right now. If he likes and respects you at all he won't be "upset" by the fact that you are making a rational, age-appropriate, relationship-length-appropriate and sensible decision that you want to take things slowly and get to know each other as young, carefree and indepedent people before rushing into anything that's slightly harder to undo.

    Take your time, enjoy getting to know him and remember that it's not a race :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry JsT and you aint an idiot lol


    thanx for advice angel! im just worried about saying no to him because i dont want to upset him :crying:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ^^ Exactly what Brigster said.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanku briggi for advice as well i will like sit with him and talk things through he is such a nice guy and has alot of respect for me and he told me yesterday that his dad said if we stay together for 5 months he will buy us a flat so we can live together and he said he would pay the rent for a year aswell
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg i just txted him 2 ask when i can next see him and we sent a few txts to each other and he just asked if i want to try for a baby with him!!! no joke!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg i just txted him 2 ask when i can next see him and we sent a few txts to each other and he just asked if i want to try for a baby with him!!! no joke!

    Blimey!!! Way too fast...nice to know where you could head with him in the future if you want to, but try not to rush it!!! :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg i just txted him 2 ask when i can next see him and we sent a few txts to each other and he just asked if i want to try for a baby with him!!! no joke!

    Honey, I would be running an Irish mile by now.

    This lad sounds quite unbalanced and I honestly can't see anything good coming of it with him if he's so utterly keen so early on.

    Just sounds too scary for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg i just txted him 2 ask when i can next see him and we sent a few txts to each other and he just asked if i want to try for a baby with him!!! no joke!

    If I were you I'd tell him in no uncertain terms to cool his jets. No way do you want to start trying for a baby in 4 day old relationship! You have infinite time to do that and all these other things he's hastily (and quite bizarrely, to be honest) suggesting. He needs to relax and you need to assert yourself and you both need to focus on enjoying each other and your new relationship. No hurry :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanku hanhan i really do love him but im only 16 and maybe trying for a baby right now aint a good idea is it ?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanku every1 i dont know what i wud do without your advice!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanku hanhan i really do love him but im only 16 and maybe trying for a baby right now aint a good idea is it ?!

    You're spot on there. It's not a good idea in the slightest.
  • smitherzsmitherz Posts: 968 Part of The Mix Family
    Sounds strange to me, He wants to get a flat, get married and have a baby after 4 days of knowing you. My advice to you is tell him to slow down, you may think you know him but 4 days is nothing, in 2 months from now you may be saying to yourself "what did i see in him".

    Anyway if you feel so good together then whats the rush to move in or get married? Most people tend to argue more when in company of each other more often so put that to the test first
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx smitherez i have nearly stopped myself from shaking now i dont want to lose him but im worried he will dump me if i dont say i want to have a baby with him right now
  • smitherzsmitherz Posts: 968 Part of The Mix Family
    thanx smitherez i have nearly stopped myself from shaking now i dont want to lose him but im worried he will dump me if i dont say i want to have a baby with him right now

    If he dumps you for that then he's a knob ! Then your answer would already be decided for you. All you gota do is say to him "whats the rush" don't beat the shit out of a good thing. You get me? Im sure he will understand
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanku so much every1 i wil tell you what he says when i speak to him!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx smitherez i have nearly stopped myself from shaking now i dont want to lose him but im worried he will dump me if i dont say i want to have a baby with him right now

    ??????????

    Seriously, if he does anything BUT accept it graciously, I would have reservations about his mental state. Saying that, I already do, but these reservations would grow.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well when we 1st started goin out he did mention he was on antideppresants but he said it was under control
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well when we 1st started goin out he did mention he was on antideppresants but he said it was under control



    I doubt that very much, by the sounds of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well when we 1st started goin out he did mention he was on antideppresants but he said it was under control

    Hmmm.....are you sure you know what you're getting yourself into?? If it's this dramatic 4 days in, and you know he's on antidepressants, I'd say you're only setting yourself up for worse tbh....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do you think he could get worse?! i thought antidepressants cured deppression
  • smitherzsmitherz Posts: 968 Part of The Mix Family
    do you think he could get worse?! i thought antidepressants cured deppression

    Not cure exactly but help the matter for however long they are needed
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    do you think he could get worse?! i thought antidepressants cured deppression

    Sorry.. I sort of said that wrong...I mean...if he's suggesting all this stuff 4 days in, then he might suggest more further on....and as a sort of separate issue, there might also be ongoing issues with his mental health which you may have to deal with...which all sounds a bit dramatic and a bit much to me for a 4 day old relationship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh so they like help keep depression under control? does that mean he wont ever come off them!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tomorrow he'll want a baby :p
  • smitherzsmitherz Posts: 968 Part of The Mix Family
    oh so they like help keep depression under control? does that mean he wont ever come off them!

    All depends on how he is feeling really, thats down to his doctor. Alot of people can stay on them for a long time.

    If you end up doing everything he says then in 3 years you will live on a farm with 20 kids :shocking:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    HanHan wrote: »
    Sorry.. I sort of said that wrong...I mean...if he's suggesting all this stuff 4 days in, then he might suggest more further on....and as a sort of separate issue, there might also be ongoing issues with his mental health which you may have to deal with...which all sounds a bit dramatic and a bit much to me for a 4 day old relationship.

    i never thought about past issues with his mental health cuz when he phoned me last night he was talking about when he split up with his ex (he caught her in bed with another man) and he said he had to be dragged out the house by the police and was in hospital for a month with mental breakdown:confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    be careful misskitty16 it all sounds way to serious way to fast!!! explain that you obviously like him, need to wait and see what the future brings :) having it all now is not the best answer!
  • smitherzsmitherz Posts: 968 Part of The Mix Family
    i never thought about past issues with his mental health cuz when he phoned me last night he was talking about when he split up with his ex (he caught her in bed with another man) and he said he had to be dragged out the house by the police and was in hospital for a month with mental breakdown:confused:

    I don't think they would keep you in hospital a month for a mental breakdown, what a waste of a bed.

    Sounds like you can pick at his story's quite easily
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