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20 y/old virgin

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lea_uk wrote: »
    No-one with any sense would care whether you're a virgin or not.

    :yes: I think some people (me included) have tried saying this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote: »
    :yes: I think some people (me included) have tried saying this.
    I know it's been said many times but he doesn't seem to realise it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes I get what you're saying andy. The fact that I don't have to meet anyone on here makes your "oasis" analogy quite accurate. There is a limit to how much they can hurt my feelings when communicating in this way, unlike if I'm forced to sit in the same room as them for an hour or two.

    I just can't imagine a 20 year old virgin who's never been in a proper relationship having anything else but a very hard time with their life at the hands of others.
    No-one with any sense would care whether you're a virgin or not.
    I have heard this before many times like Sofie said, I'm sure Jomery has too, heck I agree, but I'm yet to encounter people between 16-2X who don't care. I know I'll look like the big bad saying this, but please, shut the hell up saying it already. We heard you the first time and we don't dispute that it's completly true. Read this: I could not AGREE MORE.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are obviously hagning out with the wrong people then. Anyone I know seriously doesn't care that I'm a virgin, but then again I don't make a big deal out of it - which you seem to be doing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And about the bad attitude thing - if my attitude was better, it would not be repayed. People would only take advantage of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's just rubbish. You're making excuses for yourself now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For every person that does care there'll be millions that doesn't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :yes:

    Why does what everyone think mean so much to ou?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hornet893 wrote: »
    I just can't imagine a 20 year old virgin who's never been in a proper relationship having anything else but a very hard time with their life at the hands of others.

    Well, coming from somebody who used to be a 20 year old virgin, I do rather feel that this is bullshit. The only person I met that actually cared was myself. Ever since I got over myself it's always been a non-issue.
    Maybe sex comes up in some context, but I've never had somebody give me full attention asking if I've gotten laid or how many people I've slept with and are expecting a serious answer.

    Are you sure you're not focusing on those few persons that may bring it up and ignoring all the rest who don't?

    And honestly, we could debate this until we're all blue in the face, but the truth is that you are the one who is going to need to change something about how you deal with things in order to change your situation.

    You come across as very defensive and argumentative when people give you pointers, and whenever I meet people like that in real life that's usually a bad vibe I get. Normally there are all sorts of blokes I say I wouldn't go for but when there is somebody in front of me who is confident in themselves and are fully capable of being themselves around me -looks/career/past don't matter as much as it does beforehand.

    Are you willing to do anything at all to change your situation?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People are repeating the same old thing. The man has had 20 pages of advice, if he can't sort himself out now then theres no hope for him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MLY wrote: »
    People are repeating the same old thing. The man has had 20 pages of advice, if he can't sort himself out now then theres no hope for him.
    I think this thread has turned more into a 'who can pursuade this guy to actually listen to the advice rather than throw it back in their faces' thread than a useful one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't agree, icey. I am listening to the advice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you need to grow up dude and listen to the advice thats been giving to you,or alternativley just carry on doing what you have been doin and stay a v for eva more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    listen to the advice thats been giving to you
    FUCKIN hell. Did you not read my previous post about listening to the advice? Is this a forum for year 7 special needs kids?

    Cassidy, you made a ridiculous nonsensical post before in this thread that totally got on my nerves something about me and jomery "getting a room" and you're getting on my nerves now, why don't you take a back seat and let the professionals handle this one : )

    Point of interest, check out that new thread of katralla's. Most of the replies to her are to the end of, "lovez you!!!11 hugz and kisses lol :heart::heart::heart: "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what the hell's your point?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hornet893 wrote: »
    Point of interest, check out that new thread of katralla's. Most of the replies to her are to the end of, "lovez you!!!11 hugz and kisses lol :heart::heart::heart: "

    Katralla's thread is slightly different, as she got screwed over by somebody and was venting. It's not really asking for any advice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I joined the site just to post this, first time I've visited in years. I'm the same age as you and I can relate to so much of what you say because I see in it pretty much the person that I was. I don't make friends easily either, and I do sometimes feel resentment against those who can. The difference in my case is that for just under two years in time between school-uni I had friends, I had a very active social life, I had a partner etc. Sometime after three months of knowing this person I ended up ruining quite a few of my relationships through various behaviour ranging from manipulative to thoughtless. I got myself a small drug problem and a larger alcohol one. Sometime towards the end of the year the fact that I was in a pretty bad way mentally became clear for all to see and so I spent a lot of my 'social' time with friends asking what was wrong and why I was so quiet...I went away on holiday - for a month - and stopped drinking and using drugs. When I got back I went out, but I didn't want to drink and I realised that I hadn't actually enjoyed the situations always as much as I thought I had. Unable to face anyone I sank into something of a depression and eventually (with a few exceptions) people stopped calling. I was pretty much were you are now but to make it worse (in a way) I had the pain of already knowing a social life. I hadn't enjoyed all of it because generally relationships - of all kinds - entail more stress than been by yourself in your own house with only your own thoughts as company, and it was that latter which I realised to be the worse of the two. After eight months of been in this fucking rut I resumed my studies but I didn't connect with anyone there. What I wasn't prepared to admit at the time was that I wasn't even trying to connect to people, they weren't rejecting me but I was rejecting them and was virtually monosyllabic. I barely stuck it out for a month and a half before I bailed and the loneliness by that time was so great that I was contemplating suicide because I am someone who does need to be around people on an at least semi-regular basis to feel worthwhile. At the end of that year I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (not that I fully agree with the diagnosis) and prescribed antidepressants with a mood stabaliser. I thought about taking them but decided that as I had before I had to use self-determination. It wasn't easy because it was more than just simply going back to college and I still don't feel that I'm fully there but because my social life is now somewhat active again I do feel better in myself.

    I agree with pretty much what everyone has said here; it's up to you. People, as much as it would be easier, won't come to you and only mid-adolescent teens are as focused on sex as you make out. If they actually are just lie about it and say you fucked a girl on holiday (or a guy - if you're gay) because their not going to check up on you. I'm not naturally confident, I tend to start off a little introvered but then I feel at ease with the person and can be myself more. How much longer are you content to stay down on your knees holding a pity party for one?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hornet893 wrote: »
    FUCKIN hell. Did you not read my previous post about listening to the advice? Is this a forum for year 7 special needs kids?

    Cassidy, you made a ridiculous nonsensical post before in this thread that totally got on my nerves something about me and jomery "getting a room" and you're getting on my nerves now, why don't you take a back seat and let the professionals handle this one : )

    Point of interest, check out that new thread of katralla's. Most of the replies to her are to the end of, "lovez you!!!11 hugz and kisses lol :heart::heart::heart: "
    I do hope you're not this rude and defensive in real life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hornet893 wrote: »
    Point of interest, check out that new thread of katralla's. Most of the replies to her are to the end of, "lovez you!!!11 hugz and kisses lol :heart::heart::heart: "

    Maybe because Katralla didn't let her thread get to 21 pages of her rejecting, questioning and moaning at anyone who dared offer an opinion.

    Plus she's nice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe because Katralla didn't let her thread get to 21 pages of her rejecting, questioning and moaning at anyone who dared offer an opinion.

    Plus she's nice.

    Wasn't her thread different anyway?:confused:

    Hornet - why do you blame other people for your problems? You're the only one who can solve this issue; not anyone else. If you carry on acting the way you are, then you won't get anywhere in life. Stop being so negative and stop focusing on this 'I need a girlfriend and I need to lose my virginty now' stuff. You DON'T need a girlfriend and you certainly don't need to lose your virginity.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hornet893 wrote: »
    Is this a forum for year 7 special needs kids?

    Quite a nasty thing to say to be honest - how much do you actually know about year 7 kids who have special needs then?

    Yeah, that's what I thought - so don't use such uneducated insults!

    Oh, and if you are this aggressive, ignorant and abusive in the 'real world' I'm not suprised you've been reduced to psuedo hermit with no social skills.

    79
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    _79_ wrote: »

    Oh, and if you are this aggressive, ignorant and abusive in the 'real world' I'm not suprised you've been reduced to psuedo hermit with no social skills.

    :yes: True
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh, and if you are this aggressive, ignorant and abusive in the 'real world' I'm not suprised you've been reduced to psuedo hermit with no social skills.
    Oh, yes join the dots, well done great work. :rolleyes:

    If truth be told, no I'm not like this in the real world. There are other reasons for my being pseudo hermit with no social skills.

    One of the things we have disagreed on here is the idea about people out there not caring if I'm a 20 year old virgin. I'm sorry but you are wrong, they do care. If I were to tell people at my college about that, can you picture how they would react? Well, I can.

    So I think we can agree that having anything to do with them at college is a no go. It's finding folks somewhere else(?) that is the million dollar thing.

    I just noticed a new thread been made, I only read a bit of it. Damn now it seems even Jomery has "managed it". :nervous:

    In fact I over heard them talking yesterday morning about some random person, nothing to do with me and one of them kept saying over and over in this hushed, shocked sort of voice, "he's a virgin you know!!" I mean, show me where these mythical "don't care if you're a virgin" people are and I will go forth.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why do you have such a huge chip on your shoulder? You're a virgin, so fucking what? You don't have to tell people, and if they ask, just say you're not if it bothers you that much. And if they ask details just say it's none of their business. My boyfriend didn't lose his virginity to me till he was 19, 3 months before his 20th bday. It was never an issue for him.
    The 'being a virgin deal' is only what you make it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, I can talk the talk, but I don't think I can walk the walk, that is to say, if I pulled someone tomorrow, and we went back home and had sex, they would undoudtedly know from how inept I was if I was a virgin or not, and two, it would be wrong for me to lie to them, I don't want to lie to them anyway. If I were to meet a person I liked and trusted, I wouldn't want to lie to them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hornet893 wrote: »
    Yes, I can talk the talk, but I don't think I can walk the walk, that is to say, if I pulled someone tomorrow, and we went back home and had sex, they would undoudtedly know from how inept I was if I was a virgin or not, and two, it would be wrong for me to lie to them, I don't want to lie to them anyway. If I were to meet a person I liked and trusted, I wouldn't want to lie to them.

    So wait till you find someone you want to sleep with. Not rocket science. None is ever amazing on their first time. They could be a virgin too. I never said lie to people you want to sleep with, just nosy people, if it bothers you so much.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes but I've already done all the "waiting" I care to do though. I already been waiting for a long time now, how many more years is it going to be? Will we one day be seeing a "27 year old virgin thread?"

    Another discouraging factor is that where I live, there seems to be so much gossiping about people and bitching and so on (not so much me). People are bound to do so about me if and when I come out of the closet and admit some of the terrible secrets about me. No friends, 20 yr old virgin, etc.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hornet893 wrote: »
    Yes but I've already done all the "waiting" I care to do though. I already been waiting for a long time now, how many more years is it going to be? Will we one day be seeing a "27 year old virgin thread?"

    Another discouraging factor is that where I live, there seems to be so much gossiping about people and bitching and so on (not so much me). People are bound to do so about me if and when I come out of the closet and admit some of the terrible secrets about me. No friends, 20 yr old virgin, etc.

    Well go out and lose it then if you're fed up of waiting. You can't expect the ideal girl to sleep with to just land in your lap because you don't want to wait anymore. For the second time, you don't have to tell people you are a virgin ffs. You can either carry on waiting for the right girl, or just go out and lose it and get it over with. Up to you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're right I like that idea make no mistake, but that's the thing. There's no one to go out with to begin with. Going out there and looking for people on my own, that dosen't sound right. "Yeah let's talk to that guy who's on his own" *shrugs*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're just making excuses. Pleanty of people go and talk to people on their own, they're the easiest to approach.
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