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Know any good jokes?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Want to help YouthNet out and show how funny you are?

Charlie Brooker's donating the fee for his latest column to the charity that the person who sends him the funniest joke works for. So if you've heard something that makes you laugh send it on to him and don't forget to mention YouthNet ;) (and feel free to pretend you work here...)

Last paragraph - http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,2037309,00.html

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The latest craze sweeping clubs at the moment is to get girls to pour drink in their fannys and get guys to suck it out with a straw.

    The Government have caught on and are releasing a warning about the dangers of minge drinking.


    :o
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I take it it can't be racist, sexiest or in the form of dance??

    Who is the leader of the pubic hairs??




























    President Bush.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what is orange and looks good on hippies?

    .......
    ...
    .
    ..
    ....










    FIRE
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why did the condom fly around the room?


























    It got pissed off :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What did Cinderella say to the photo counter worker?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
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    .
    Someday my prints will come....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Two nuns cycling down a road. One says "I've never come this way before", the other replies....























    "I know, it must be the cobbles."
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jim V wrote: »
    A man told the truth

    tee he. funny!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A blind man walks into a supermarket and starts swinging his dog around above his head. The assistant comes over and asks, "excuse me, sir, but what the hell are you doing?"
    He replies, "just having a look around".
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One stolen from the late great Sophia (must give credit where credit is due)

    Did you hear about the leper cowboy?

    He threw his leg over his horse

    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What did the apple say to the orange?
    I despise you for being different from me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Two nuns cycling down a road. One says "I've never come this way before", the other replies....























    "I know, it must be the cobbles."

    haha my politics teacher used to come off with that all the time

    the fella was a nutter!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't think of any clean jokes.

    How do you make a snooker table laugh?

    Put your hand in its pocket and tickle its balls.


    Why was the washing machine laughing?

    It was taking the piss out of the knickers.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why did the starfish blush?
    Because the sea weed.

    How do you know when two elephants have been having sex in your kitchen?
    The bin liner's missing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A man walked into a bar.....




    Ouch
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's brown and sticky?

    a stick!

    boom boom
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What do you call a three-legged donkey?



    A Wonky! :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Anomalous wrote: »
    What did Cinderella say to the photo counter worker?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
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    Someday my prints will come....

    HAHA
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What do you call a three-legged donkey?
    A Wonky! :D


    Ah, I had fits of hysterics when I heard that joke for the first time a few years ago. One of those times where the situation is more funny than the joke and you just can't stop laughing :D

    One more:

    A man with two left feet walked into a shoe shop... and came out with a pair of flip flips! :lol: That one never fails to amuse me :blush:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?

    He's alright now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Simple, basic humour always gets me! ;)

    Why did the chewing gum cross the road?







    Cos it was stuck to the chicken's foot!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A man walks into a psychologists office wearing nothing but cling film from head to foot.

    The psychologist looks him up and down and says "I can clearly see you're nuts"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a man, torn, bruised and battered carrying a smashed bicycle asks a passenger "Damn.. Do you see that tree over there?"
    the passenger looks, "no..."
    man, "neither did I."

    ba-dum-bshhhh...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    2 men were having a picnic and one decides to open a beer but they don't have a bottle openner. the first man says "I'll get the bottle opener, but don't touch any of the food." the second man says "OK" the man walks off and an hour passes, then days pass, then a week passes. the second man is so starving he opens the picnic basket and the first man jumps out from behind a nearby stone and says "A - HA! I can't leave you alone for anything!"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A man is walking through a park one day when he spies 3 little puppys playing around in the mud.
    To his amazement he hears one of the puppys talk to the other, so he rushes over in excitement.."wow a talking dog" says the man
    "hi!" replies the puppy, "my name is Huey and ive been having a great day going in and out of puddles!"

    The man is left taken aback and speachless as the second puppy comes bounding accross and says "Hi! My name is Dewy and i've been having a great day going in and out of puddles!"

    The man then spied the third puppy sat a little distance away from the others so he decided to go over. "Let me guess" said the man to the third puppy, "Your name is Luey right?"

    "No", replied the puppy, "My name is Puddles!!"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A boy and his girlfriend walk down the street and bump into this Asian guy.

    "Hi I'm Sanfran and I've just opened a new nightclub down the road, here's some free passes"

    So they go into this nightclub and they're grooving away, but the boy gets really hot and sweaty. He goes to the lavvys and rips his kidneys, liver and heart out. He has a wash and puts his liver and kidneys back in.

    Later on, they leave the nightclub and they're in the taxi and his girlfriend is getting all lovey dovey and telling him what a great guy he is. He turns round and calls her a bitch and a slut and all that, and she's like woooaaah, what's the matter with you?

    "Sorry", he says "I left my heart in Sanfran's disco"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What goes 'oooooooooooooooo'

















    A cow with no lips.
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