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Cohabiting Rights?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote: »
    Anyway - if a couple get married just to get more rights then that goes against the whole point of marriage.

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    If you want the rights of a married person you get married. It's really that simple.

    i really really hate saying this but i have to agree with Kermit
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    briggi wrote: »
    there's no way I think anyone should have to conduct their relationship in a climate where to have the same rights as other couples you HAVE to get married.

    Erm... fundamentally, in the eyes of the law, marriage is the legal act of enshrining rights to property. So how is this different to what is being suggested - other than being an act of choice rather that state intervention?
    the idea that people co-habiting have a less stable or bankable relationship is pretty bemusing.

    Has that been argued here?
    Are we getting into territory where you have to have been together for xx years before you have these legal rights? Because then surely we have to stop people who've known each other for six and a half weeks getting hitched? Why should they have marital rights that a co-habiting couple of five years wouldn't? :chin:

    Erm... because they have signed a contract?

    Are you suggetsing that the minute you cohabit then equal rights applies? That your housemate should be treated as next of kin and should therefore have complete control of your affair if you become incapacitated?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blagsta wrote: »
    We are committed to each other but don't require the state to validate our love.

    You are correct you don't. But then this isn't about the state validating your love, it's about a legal contract between you and your partner - which incidentally doesn't even have to be a loved one, it could just be a housemate.

    You want you partern to be treated as legal next of kin, then sign those rights over - until you do then it's nearest living blood relative.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think the thing about marriage, is that when you sign your name on the paper, you know that all your assets will become the other persons, etc. etc. that all that legal stuff is taken care of. If you're not too comfortable with that, you can choose not to get married.

    But the way I see it, this law would mean that those who want to cohabit but aren't ready for the whole completely legal attatchment to each other, are discriminated against, because by the simple act of moving in together, even if you've known each other 2 months, if you die then your stuff will go to this person, even if you intended it to go to your mum or whatever. And stuff like that, really.

    If you were really fussed about making a point of not wanting to get married because you don't want the state to say it's official, you can legally say yourself you want this person to be designated your partner and in the event that anything happens to you, you want them looked after.

    Because, aside from marriage where it's fairly obvious there's a big commitment involved (and those who get married and don't want to commit are a bit dumb...), it should be 'opt-in' rather than an automatic 'you live together, therefore are as good as married'.

    Blagsta, it's a bit perplexing, you say you don't want the state to validate your relationship, but should anything happen to you, you'd want the state to acknowledge your relationship... imo they are part of the same thing. The system isn't really broken - you want to be recognised as a couple - people get married / civil ceremony. You want to just cohabit, that's fine.

    Like Kermit says, this law just makes everything really complicated, when the system works already. I think there should be more scope for couple's to make themselves 'official' with the state outside of a 'marriage' which is tied to religion at it's roots, so there are people who 'don't believe in marriage'... but I don't see how people who are unwilling to make their relationship official before the state for whatever reason, expect to have their relationship registered and seen as official should anything happen.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are correct you don't. But then this isn't about the state validating your love, it's about a legal contract between you and your partner - which incidentally doesn't even have to be a loved one, it could just be a housemate.

    Last time I looked, people didn't tend to marry their housemates.
    You want you partern to be treated as legal next of kin, then sign those rights over - until you do then it's nearest living blood relative.

    It shouldn't have to be marriage though. Married people should not automatically get rights that others don't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blagsta wrote: »
    Last time I looked, people didn't tend to marry their housemates.

    Indeed, but they might want them to have property rights
    It shouldn't have to be marriage though. Married people should not automatically get rights that others don't.

    Who said it did have to be marriage? It just has be be done in a way recognised by law, and in a manner which clearly shows that a choice has been made to hand over "next of kin" rights to someone else.

    Perhaps I should chose the expression better. I don't mean that you should have to go through a religious ceremony, but a registry office really isn't too much to ask for the rights which follow is it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    I think the thing about marriage, is that when you sign your name on the paper, you know that all your assets will become the other persons, etc. etc. that all that legal stuff is taken care of. If you're not too comfortable with that, you can choose not to get married.

    But the way I see it, this law would mean that those who want to cohabit but aren't ready for the whole completely legal attatchment to each other, are discriminated against, because by the simple act of moving in together, even if you've known each other 2 months, if you die then your stuff will go to this person, even if you intended it to go to your mum or whatever. And stuff like that, really.

    If you were really fussed about making a point of not wanting to get married because you don't want the state to say it's official, you can legally say yourself you want this person to be designated your partner and in the event that anything happens to you, you want them looked after.

    Because, aside from marriage where it's fairly obvious there's a big commitment involved (and those who get married and don't want to commit are a bit dumb...), it should be 'opt-in' rather than an automatic 'you live together, therefore are as good as married'.

    Blagsta, it's a bit perplexing, you say you don't want the state to validate your relationship, but should anything happen to you, you'd want the state to acknowledge your relationship... imo they are part of the same thing. The system isn't really broken - you want to be recognised as a couple - people get married / civil ceremony. You want to just cohabit, that's fine.

    Like Kermit says, this law just makes everything really complicated, when the system works already. I think there should be more scope for couple's to make themselves 'official' with the state outside of a 'marriage' which is tied to religion at it's roots, so there are people who 'don't believe in marriage'... but I don't see how people who are unwilling to make their relationship official before the state for whatever reason, expect to have their relationship registered and seen as official should anything happen.

    Hmmmmm...you have a point. Dammit.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Marriage

    1. the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
    2. the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage.
    3. the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.
    4. a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage; homosexual marriage.

    from here

    So by giving couples who live together legal rights of married couples and getting them to legally enter into agreements the government is in effect manipulating them into a marriage (according to the above definitions of marriage). So whether or not you choose to get married it seems the government is attempting to lessen the blow for those people. Those people being ones who claim don't need government acknowledgement but are seeking it when it suits them.

    As many have said, marriage suits me...mainly because of my religious faith but also because i was raised in an environment where if you want to live with someone then you bloody well will marry them.

    One of the main problems here is that the UK doesnt promote religion, traditional families and typical family values. Look around you, in the UK you have the highest rates of EVERYTHING bad/negative, crime of all sorts is on the increase daily, abortion and teen/unplanned pregnancies, drug abuse and alcohol abuse and to top it all off unemployment is skyrocketing through the roof as more and more people are resorting to the dole. Im not saying religion will fix all these problems but i am saying that the UK has always been too lax in respect to these problems and is being to lax towards its views on marriage.

    Do what you want to do, i have nothing against people living together....what i do have a problem with is those people expecting to be treated the same as people who have entered into a legal and binding contract. I just want to know what exactly your reasons are for not wanting to get married? (And dont give me any rubbish about not needing to seek government approval)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amira wrote: »
    As many have said, marriage suits me...mainly because of my religious faith but also because i was raised in an environment where if you want to live with someone then you bloody well will marry them.

    It's fine saying that, marriage suits you, but then going on to say:
    One of the main problems here is that the UK doesnt promote religion, traditional families and typical family values. Look around you, in the UK you have the highest rates of EVERYTHING bad/negative, crime of all sorts is on the increase daily, abortion and teen pregnancies, drug abuse and alcohol abuse and to top it all off unemployment is skyrocketing through the roof as more and more people are resorting to the dole. Im not saying religion will fix all these problems but i am saying that the UK has always been too lax in respect to these problems and is being to lax towards its views on marriage.

    is going down dangerous territory. Because we're what I would call a fairly liberal society, in that we are 'lax', that you don't need to marry someone to live with them, that's not a bad thing. That's a great thing, in fact, it gives people more freedom and choice.

    Saying 'everything bad/negative ... is on the increase daily' is incorrect.

    Saying 'unemployment is skyrocketing through the roof as more and more people are resorting to the dole' is also, incorrect. We have one of the lowest rates of unemployment in the world, 2.9%. [CIA factbook]

    At the end of the day, suggesting that problems are down to social attitudes of people in the UK, even in a roundabout way, is quite insulting. Yea, sometimes there are problems, but the UK is much better off than most countries in the world, most countries in Europe, etc.
    Do what you want to do, i have nothing against people living together....what i do have a problem with is those people expecting to be treated the same as people who have entered into a legal and binding contract. I just want to know what exactly your reasons are for not wanting to get married? (And dont give me any rubbish about not needing to seek government approval)

    I think the difference here, is you have failed to empathise with Blagsta and people who don't want to get married. He has a perfectly legitimate gripe. You shouldn't HAVE to marry someone you're in love with, that's removing your freedom.

    I think there should be a way of saying to the government 'hey, we're a couple', incase anything does happen, but without having to necessarily get married, which is what I said in my earlier post. We can't have a system where you move in to a house with your girlfriend / boyfriend, then automatically become seen as a couple who wish to have all the legal rights of marriage, because then you may as well just move in with someone rather than marry them. But then again, why should you have to wear a dress and a suit and say to god you want his blessing, or the blessing of the country, or the register, that you are now man and wife.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amira wrote: »
    from here

    So by giving couples who live together legal rights of married couples and getting them to legally enter into agreements the government is in effect manipulating them into a marriage (according to the above definitions of marriage). So whether or not you choose to get married it seems the government is attempting to lessen the blow for those people. Those people being ones who claim don't need government acknowledgement but are seeking it when it suits them.

    As many have said, marriage suits me...mainly because of my religious faith but also because i was raised in an environment where if you want to live with someone then you bloody well will marry them.

    One of the main problems here is that the UK doesnt promote religion, traditional families and typical family values. Look around you, in the UK you have the highest rates of EVERYTHING bad/negative, crime of all sorts is on the increase daily, abortion and teen/unplanned pregnancies, drug abuse and alcohol abuse and to top it all off unemployment is skyrocketing through the roof as more and more people are resorting to the dole. Im not saying religion will fix all these problems but i am saying that the UK has always been too lax in respect to these problems and is being to lax towards its views on marriage.

    Do what you want to do, i have nothing against people living together....what i do have a problem with is those people expecting to be treated the same as people who have entered into a legal and binding contract. I just want to know what exactly your reasons are for not wanting to get married? (And dont give me any rubbish about not needing to seek government approval)


    :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have three short staments in reply to that:

    Yes liberal is good, freedom is also good...but expecting the same rights as people who get married goes beyond free and liberal and borders into a desperate attempt to protect peoples rights. Which im sorry, but if people decide not to get married is their own fault...the option is there for everyone.

    I don't need to empathise with him or anyone else, i have my views and i stick to them...im not forcing him or anyone else to get married i am just expressing my opinions. And according to Kermit there is a way to let the government know you're a couple, why isnt that enough?

    And yes i may not have been accurate, but hell...from what ive seen on skynews and bbcworld and read in the times and guardian....things arent getting better in the UK.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amira wrote: »
    And yes i may not have been accurate, but hell...from what ive seen on skynews and bbcworld and read in the times and guardian....things arent getting better in the UK.


    And you live in a country that has such a good human rights record eh?

    Pffffffffffft :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whats that got to do with what i mentioned?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amira wrote: »
    Whats that got to do with what i mentioned?

    You're wanking on about how lack of religion is what is wrong with the UK. TBH, I don't see that religion has done much good for people in Dubai.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Please, just cos you see a few articles about labourers going on strike and camel jockeys you think you know anything about the UAE. I didnt say it was solely because of lack of relious education, i said it was partly due to the attitude towards it. There are more problems in the UK than the UAE has ever experienced....and please note, most of the problems in the UAE are because of the expatriates living here running into problems
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amira wrote: »
    Yes liberal is good, freedom is also good...but expecting the same rights as people who get married goes beyond free and liberal and borders into a desperate attempt to protect peoples rights. Which im sorry, but if people decide not to get married is their own fault...the option is there for everyone.

    Which is what I said, but there isn't, as far as I know, anyway of making a relationship 'recognised' other than marriage (or, if you're gay, a civil ceremony), which if you don't believe in the sanctity of marriage - that you love someone and don't need god / the country to prove it (which, for someone like you who does believe marriage is an important part of love, is why you need to try to empathise with why people wouldn't want to, otherwise nobody gets anywhere) - kinda means you've either got a choice of a) having a mock wedding that doesn't mean anything just for the legal protection (Kermit's suggestion I think) or b) being screwed over if you DO want your OH to be given your pension / estate etc. when you die, because even though you lived together for 20 years, oh dear, you weren't married.
    I don't need to empathise with him or anyone else, i have my views and i stick to them...im not forcing him or anyone else to get married i am just expressing my opinions. And according to Kermit there is a way to let the government know you're a couple, why isnt that enough?

    You don't need to empathise with him, but it would help a lot I think in seeing both sides of the argument. The way to let the government know you are a couple is to get married, I don't know of any other way. You could, in theory, write loads of legal paperwork (which I'm sure Kermit would love ;)) like a will, but that's such a faff. It does get a bit moronic having a marriage, and then a 'recognised state relationship', but marriage still does stand for a lot of old fashioned things which a lot of people, through their own choice, don't want to have to agree to (for example, recognition under god, which for atheists is a bit of a sham).
    And yes i may not have been accurate, but hell...from what ive seen on skynews and bbcworld and read in the times and guardian....things arent getting better in the UK.

    The nature of the news is to report the bad stuff that's happening, the dramatic. You will always get a skewed perception if you just go on what you've read, rather than living there full time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The news loves to make out that we're such a terrible country you know. The news only reports good stuff when they've ran out of bad stuff to moan about.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amira wrote: »
    Please, just cos you see a few articles about labourers going on strike and camel jockeys you think you know anything about the UAE.

    ...and you know about the UK...how exactly?
    Amira wrote: »
    I didnt say it was solely because of lack of relious education, i said it was partly due to the attitude towards it. There are more problems in the UK than the UAE has ever experienced....and please note, most of the problems in the UAE are because of the expatriates living here running into problems

    btw, Human Rights Watch would disagree with you
    http://hrw.org/doc/?t=mideast&c=uae
    as would Amnesty International
    http://www.amnesty.org/airesults/search?access=p&submit=GO&output=xml_no_dtd&sort=date%3AD%3AL%3Ad1&site=default_collection&ie=iso-8859-1&lr=lang_en&client=eng&oe=UTF-8&proxystylesheet=eng&q=united+arab+emirates&ip=192.168.1.6&start=10
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amira wrote: »
    There are more problems in the UK than the UAE has ever experienced....and please note, most of the problems in the UAE are because of the expatriates living here running into problems

    :eek2:

    Of course, it's all the British's fault.

    I would suggest though, that you learn more about your own country's history. Every country has problems, some worse than others.

    http://www.state.gov/g/drl/rls/hrrpt/2004/41734.htm

    Problems remained in the Government's respect for human rights. Citizens do not have the right to change their government. The Government restricted freedom of speech and of the press. The press practiced self-censorship. The Government restricted free assembly and association, and it restricted religious freedom by banning proselytizing of Muslims. The Government restricted the rights of workers, many of whom were not protected by labor laws. There are no labor unions. There were poor working conditions for some laborers, failure to pay wages, and abuse of foreign domestic servants in an economy in which 98 percent of the private sector workforce is foreign. There were no independent human rights organizations. Trafficking in women as prostitutes and very young foreign boys as camel jockeys continue to be serious problems, despite government pledges to end these practices.

    https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/ae.html#Issues
    current situation: the United Arab Emirates is a destination country for men, women, and children trafficked from South and East Asia, Eastern Europe, Africa, and the Middle East for involuntary servitude and for sexual exploitation; an estimated 10,000 women from sub-Saharan Africa, Eastern Europe, South and East Asia, Iraq, Iran, and Morocco may be victims of sex trafficking in the UAE; women also migrate from Africa, and South and Southeast Asia to work as domestic servants, but may have their passports confiscated, be denied permission to leave the place of employment in the home, or face sexual or physical abuse by their employers; men from South Asia come to the UAE to work in the construction industry, but may be subjected to conditions of involuntary servitude as they are coerced to pay off recruitment and travel costs, sometimes having their wages denied for months at a time; victims of child camel jockey trafficking may still remain in the UAE, despite a July 2005 law banning the practice; while all identified victims were repatriated at the government's expense to their home countries, questions persist as to the effectiveness of the ban and the true number of victims

    http://www.socialaffairsunit.org.uk/blog/archives/000345.php
    Dubai is a boomtown. It has also become a major centre for prostitution. "Dubai is the place where Arabs come to sin - the Bangkok of the Middle East". Vice, directly and indirectly, may account for over 30% of Dubai's economy. Yet this licence exists in a part of the world where the austere Saudi cult of Wahhabism is influential. William G. Ridgeway reports on the strange, uncomfortable meeting of Wahhabism and vice.

    http://www.antislavery.org/homepage/resources/cameljockeysgallery/gallery.htm
    In 2004, Anti-Slavery International sent a photographer to the United Arab Emirates (UAE) to photograph children racing and training in the Gulf state. The photographs prove that, despite the Government's repeated statements that this practice has stopped, it is still a problem.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes Shyboy, i understand where he is coming from and what you are saying....and do feel for couples (or rather a partner) in positions where no will has been left and they arent married. But sometimes leaving no other option but a will and getting married will encourage more people to get married.
    Blagsta wrote: »

    Oh my God....its exactly what i said it would be about, labourers and camel jockeys. Dig up some real dirt that would get me going and you would get more of a rise out of me

    And yes, news is there to report bad things....its the same the world over.

    ETA: I know soooo much about the UK because i have lived there, do live there for 3months a year (plus other short holidays) and own property there.....oh and im a british citizen (born in Uk to a british mother) :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why should more people be getting married though?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amira wrote: »
    Yes Shyboy, i understand where he is coming from and what you are saying....and do feel for couples (or rather a partner) in positions where no will has been left and they arent married. But sometimes leaving no other option but a will and getting married will encourage more people to get married.

    Yes, but why do people need to be encourage to be married?
    Amira wrote: »
    Oh my God....its exactly what i said it would be about, labourers and camel jockeys. Dig up some real dirt that would get me going and you would get more of a rise out of me

    And yes, news is there to report bad things....its the same the world over.

    None so blind eh? :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote: »
    why should more people be getting married though?

    :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: to get the rights they are complaining they dont have!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amira, I guess you think public flogging is OK then?
    n December, two women domestic migrant workers – Indonesian national Wasini bint Sarjan and Indian national Rad Zemah Sinyaj Mohammed – were sentenced to flogging, after becoming pregnant outside marriage, by a Shari’a (Islamic) Court in Ras al-Khaimah. Rad Zemah Sinyaj Mohammed was sentenced to 150 lashes, to be received in two sessions, followed by deportation. Wasini bint Sarjan was sentenced to one year’s imprisonment and 100 lashes, followed by deportation.

    The sentences were to be carried out once the women had given birth and their children had been weaned.

    or disappearing people?
    A 34-year-old employee of the telecommunications company Etisalat, Hassan al-Za’abi, was arrested and “disappeared” after his car was stopped by members of the State Security (Amn al-Dawla) on 1 August in Abu Dhabi. Despite several appeals by his family his fate and whereabouts remained unknown. The reasons for his arrest were not clear but were thought to be politically motivated.

    or death by stoning?
    http://web.amnesty.org/library/Index/ENGMDE250022000?open&of=ENG-ARE

    Yeah, religion's done these people a world of good :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amira wrote: »
    :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: to get the rights they are complaining they dont have!

    You're arguing in circles.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amira wrote: »
    :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: to get the rights they are complaining they dont have!

    People don't get married because they want more rights though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blagsta wrote: »
    Amira, I guess you think public flogging is OK then?



    or disappearing people?



    or death by stoning?
    http://web.amnesty.org/library/Index/ENGMDE250022000?open&of=ENG-ARE

    Yeah, religion's done these people a world of good :rolleyes:
    Neither in Dubai...besides, women were given a fair trial, their repective embassies had the chance to intervene but chose not to and they were tried according to Shari'a law....they knew the law and the implications of their actions.

    And the second case, you think you don't have political crimes in the UK? Don't be so naive, he's problably in jail in the middle of the desert and will turn up in a couple of years...happens all the time ;)

    And yes, religion has done a lot for the majority of practising believers...whether it be in the middle east, europe, india, the Americas or anywhere else for that matter. You are picking on things that are moving away from the subject and have turned your attentions to attack me and my country....why? I at least related things to the subject at hand.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote: »
    People don't get married because they want more rights though.
    no they dont get married to gain more rights, but if they are commited to eachother, in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together then why not just get married and gain access to those rights and save themselves a whole load of hassle. Its quite simple really.
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