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You're so brave at these things Strubbles, you deserve a superb lass tbh.
I have just a few thoughts, because I was a bit upset yesterday.
I recently have been thinking lots about a female friend of mine. Talked to her a lot lately, began to think about her and all that... She's lovely, really good looking and has an awesome humor. Needless to say that's something I really don't need right this moment (esp. because she has a boyfriend, and), because I need to focus on studying and still have a bit of after-issue with alice.
So I told her I will space out for some time, take a bit time for myself, reduce contact vigorously to get my head in order again, before I really fall in love with her. Well, it seems she wasn't so keen on the idea, but it had to be done. Nobody is happy if I'd really fall for her...
So there was no contact for just about a week, but I felt already better. Uni started again, I spent more time with different people and did not think of her much, so I thought I can vaguely start talking to her again on the one or other occasion. So I talked her up yesterday and we had a little bit of convo and she said, "I didn't know you would talk to me again. It's a good surprise tho." Which made me feel realy weird, because I really stated it will be just for a period of time (which was just about a week!).
I felt like I was an idiot and I really hurt her. Imagine a friend comes up to you and tells you something which you mistake as "I don't want to talk to you anymore." I would definitely wouldn't let him/her walk away that easily.
I really stated tho, that she can always chat me up, more that ever if she had something on her mind. Sometimes people need to take me more literal, I'd let you all know if I wouldn't want to have anything to do with you
It as weird, couldn't stop to (try to) justify myself...
Saw alice today... except the "hello" from time to time, there is not much anymore. Should've smelled the rat earlier. I was conviced when I'd see her again with the begin with uni most of my sentiments towards her would be as good as gone. Mistake... ugh... I sometimes wish it wasn't my hormones who have the control over me.
Hmmm...
my aunt studied chemistry as well and has a real nice resumé of the whole Mathematics I lecture as well as all the 120 excersises you get as 'homework' (every week 10), who are content of the examination.
Sophie (**warning**: not the sophie from the beginning of the thread, another girl with the same name!! When I mean 'sophie' I will only be speaking of her now) knows that and recently came up to me to ask for a copy of it. I said sure, I'll call up my aunt and organize it and you'll have a copy of it all then. I asked for her number so I can inform her when I have it, so we can meet up or something, so I can give it to her.
Lately (before the thing with the maths thingy when she came up to me), there have been this strange moments where she looked through the auditory while lecture and always smiled at me when your views met -_- She's just being nice, I know that, but my subconsciousness is always working against me.
She is a really nice girl, one of the first girls beside alice where I thought, "phwroar". She is a bit shorter than alice, seems to be a bit more social compatible, speaks with more confidence and is the kind of girl that makes you always smile. Like in the lectures when I look around bored and I see her and she looks at me, she always smiles so genuine... ah well, it's a nice feeling.
I went with alice then tho, because it feels like she (sophie) used to be pretty popular back home. she is from another part of austria and needless to say doesn't have much friends here, she's new to the capital vienna. One of the girls, that make the impression that she has a lot of experience with boys and a friend told me he overheard a conversation between her and another female student where they said something like, "phew... it's really tough to be one month without sex." I was a bit unsure there, maybe suits me not entirely down to the ground...
I really don't know. Alice and Sophie just know each other from study, and might talk about those things, even tho alice is just not the type of person, but what do you know, sometimes girls are really different to other girls, even tho they just sit beside each other once in a while.
Tried to ignore it, but you can't tell yourself "Don't think at this.", that never works... What the feck is wrong with me? Alice, then the friend of mine, sophie next? Arghhhh!!!
I have the future prospect just like I had it with alice. It seems like a recurring nightmare -_- It won't work and this time I'm not even sure if I really should.
Maybe that's one size too much, I dunno... On the other hand, nothing ventured nothing gained.
hmmmmmmmm........
So, we've been to this little office, where the representation of the technical chemists reside in and I saw Sophie there again. I gave her the folder in maths lecture. She left the lecture to copy everything vital out.
So, one thing is clear now: sophie has a boyfriend, but this is not the bad part. first on, I will have my head clear for now, because I am not falling into something now, secondly... eh, this takes a little longer:
Well, sophie is hot, really nice, funny and helpful, quite the stunning sort. On the first glance she appears like one of those cheeky girls from more rural parts of austria (which is a very good thing in austria, to be not from the 'minging city'). A rule of thumb says, that the people from the country side of austria have their first sexual experiences when kids of the city still play in the sand box. So it's always a handle with care.
Sophie's boyfriend is .. weird tho, not to say ugly. He has the kind of haircut your mother cut you when you were 8 and real fatty too, has those Cargo pants with the huge pockets on the sides and he wears it, that it hardly reaches the shoes when he stands up. shoes like an austronaut...
So I might have been a bit wrong mith my conceptions (I do not have much experience with those rural girls, most is hearsay). Well, it's awesome to know, that not every v good looking girl is superficial, since there has to be more to it than looks.
anyway... just a bit of metal onanism...
So Georg had to leave and with him Lukas. Natalie left as well, but I announced that I rather stay for a little longer and Anna decided to stay too (two girl-friends parting ways *gasp*). So we've been endlessly talking about anything and there was always a lot of interest. We played a few table-football matches, it was funny... Then we've been challenged and she came to my side of the table and we 2v2ed them. At some point of time she kinda bumped her hip against mine, to cheer for me, that I'll shoot a goal... So a (eenie weenie amount) of physical contact too... We lost
Moreoever did she play (real) footie at her school, before she came to vienna (lived in upper austria), and I told her that we are playing regularly, and if she fancied she could tag along sometimes. The suggestion was met with agreement. So everythings fine, we had a lot in common, had a great time, genuine interest, plans/reasons to meet again. We stayed around for 3 hours just on our own talking enjoying each others company when we left, went home (she lives not far from me, so we had a big piece of our way home in common).
Oh wait matt, wasn't there something? That's right a boyfriend and she just mentioned him casually when telling me something... *DONG*
GRRAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRHGGGGHGGGHGHHGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing ever fucking works, I could crawl up the walls!!!!
This can't be tough luck anymore, someone who created destiny or my life for that matter made a bad joke, a really bad one!!
I'm so sick of it :S
As a few of you know I've been snowboarding for a week (and had birthday there :yippe: ), need to update about that, but I have to wait for all the photos, videos, etc. Hope I don't forget too much, till then :l
So on the holiday I casually texted sophie, asking how she was, how her math exam went, etc and told her where I was - snowboarding in Saalbach. She wrote back telling me she needed to give me my maths documentations back and asked if she should stay until monday in vienna (as opposed to driving home to family), so we can go out. I responded positively and we met up yesterday.
I wasn't in the best of moods, since I was hungover from yesterday (last day in Saalbach), got up early on that day (had to leave the hotel in time), and had the hour long drive back. I still went tho, because I really like her and I knew we'd have a good time. We met up at 9.30, swift kiss on the cheek and went to the irish pub thingy that had free beer on monday. Unfortunately we've been a bit to late and just had 2 pints for free.
Well, I usually do not like to go out with just one person. I rather fancy going out in a group, being able to change partner of conversation and have more group dynamics etc. In the condition I was in I wouldn't have thought I'd stay for long. Well, in the end we sat there for 5 and a half fucking hours and talked about every topic invented by man I reckon. We've been so shitfaced, but it's cool, because I like a girl who keeps up with me by drinking and she sure does (by being a head smaller than me).
She's the kind of girl that loosens you up quickly. Tells you a few personal things, slackens the situation and - no strubbles you did not - yes I did... well we started to talk about old partners, and generally old love life jazz. You can't have a secret in front of that person, but I am very sure it's well kept.
The situation with her boyfriend is the following. He's 24 studies chemistry as well and is the (bit) typical roleplayer guy, so not the total sun-shy guy. It is still doing my head in how those two are together, but she said she met him in october and got together with him in december and in the meantime met up frequently invited each other to their places and it generally seemed to take very long, as she stated too: that she needs a long time to really get into someone and get together with s.o.
I'm a bit fascinated by her, how upright and open she is, without spilling every boring fact of her, but she's a good convo partner, cuz you can practically ask her anything.
She mentioned too, that she never found the right bloke, thought she would be single forever, which was a bit peculiar, because she looks like she pulls every other night (maybe did, but just nothing date-able) and it seems she really found her mister right now, which is cool for her! but sucks for me.
need to meet up with her today again, because she forgot my maths thingies yesterday, she even said she'd totally come to vienna again for my b-day... Well, when we left at ~4am (and one or two times throughout the evening) she said she is really enjoying herself and that we totally need to meet up again soon.
She seems to be the best-friend kind of girl.... Little does she know I always fall for my best friends
Well, lets see how this goes on.
I read that as "Not that I drink beer but that's besides the pint."
I think I have a problem :P
Ah well... If I can briddle my feelings this is meant to be an awesome friendship, because she's just so similar to me, always up for any kind of grabs. The easy going, kind of "Hey I just ordered pizza and have 2 grams of Lala here, wanna drop by?"-girl.
I am not going to stress myself... Thanks for the reply
Two awesome weeks and I will show you a few impressions.
That's us. Almost the whole pack, 4 people short. From left to right:
Janne (Christrians Girlfriend), Bernhard, Barbara (Chris oldest sis), StrubbleS, Chris, Toni, Jana (Chris older sis), Thomas, Joli, Pietro, Kathi, Patrick, Koko, Flo, Gerald.
Front row: Thomas#2, Andi, Dave...
Koko on Kathi
andi in the gondola towards the mountain peak. He's finally getting dressed.
shot of chris, stephie, jana, toni
StrubbleS, the angry dragon. We made stupid pics after taking tokes from the hookah.
On the peak, getting ready for the slope!
here are a couple of us with our tütüs on. Those little ballerina see-through skirts (in purple, pink and blue). We were the badass of the slope, HELL YEA.
few of us, going down the slope in a chain
one of our floor"parties". We had to move rooms for the last 2 days, because a horde of brits were occupying the hostel. We did not have a large room anymore, so we were sitting and chilling here.
Koko a (tad) drunk :P
ohhh, you can see StrubbleS here!.
on the lift!.
Koko made a stunt!
Kathi live and direct.
Ok, Ok! Enough of Kathi and Koko already
depicted is Joli, Chris and StrubbleS
depicted is our beer consumption of 3 days
ahh... a gathering in our room. It was nice.
fuck, if that's not a wet dream then I do not know what
Janne, chris' g/f
Strubbles, while... dunno.. thinking?
Rese with toni
Looks almost like a windows generic wallpaper
clicky: No they are not raising there glasses to their god! Well.. almost. It was me sitting on the bunk bed and it was my birthday
Meet Jana and Haxi
There are hundreds more tho.
In case you DO care. here is the linky http://junk.mowley.net/
click yourself through if you want.
Stiegl,... the very left one.
It's a hell of a beer. There are a bunch of other great ones too.
I really do not know my beer jargon in english,...
A glance in the dictionary tells me that the word is "hop". They brew it ouf of hop (as opposed to wheat for example) and malt.
It has 12° "original wort" (once again translated), which makes it a beer with a not too strong taste. Light beers like fosters usually have less wort, stouts more.
5,5 Vol.% alcohol.
Moste austrian hop beers follow that average of wort and alcohol content, making them a bit stronger in alcohol and flavor than british 'average' beers, I reckon.
I drank british beer just a few times in the pub and I did not remember the brand, so I cannot serve with a valid comparison. sorry. Guess you just have to import some or come to austria
Ok, Ok... It wasn't the best of prerequisite to go out yesterday, taking into account that I worked my back off in my grandma's cellar/basement for 7 hours, to clear out all that useless crap in there, but anyways. So I talked to Georg on ICQ what he's up to and he wasn't sure yet, but he sent me the link to a flyer of a party in the U96, so we went... Thomas came with us.
So once we are there, the 'club' was filled with girls and boys ranging from 15 to 18, so I wasn't sure how long to stay. Firstly of course (well, after the first beer), we went for a match of foosball. Georg is no way near of being a well-rehearsed player, but it was sufficient to beat the first 3 competitors, then we stopped, because georg was bored and lost his attention span.
Anyway, so we were sitting there, when Georg jumped up, "OH LOOK, IT'S DANI..", thomas, "dani who?", georg "Dani <lastname>."..
Well, I knew her from hearsay, she is a lesbian that went with us to school. Particularly unattractive, small, black bushy hair-do and the upper arms of a wrestler. Well, she had a hot friend with her (who was heterosexual, tho), so I thought maybe I can get hold of her through dani, I don't know her well, but I had a lot of stories about her from my friend daniel who always told very enthusiastic and excited about her.
So we started to talk about crip and crap, swapped numbers and she invited me to a Jägermeister shot, well my money was running low, so I took it with a thanks and the promise I will get even with her, when we meet the next time. (well she bought me a beer too then and let me drink with her cola red, because I was out of cash). AAAAnyway, it was already late at night and I thought georg and thomas left long ago, so it was just me and Dani sitting on that narrow bench, which was more of a single seat. She btw. mentioned 2 times before that she has only the hots for girls (well, about 98% women, 2% men), so what do you think if a lesbian has her hand on your inner tigh with one hand, the other around your shoulders and tells you, "you're so cute, matt." ?? That's right: Nothing at all.
When I went for the loo I met georg again and his words were approximately like that, "Matt you dick, Vicky (dani's hot friend) said dani has always gave you THAT look the whole evening, and thinks you are totally fit.",
"georg, you know better than me, that she only eats pussy?",
"I DON'T CARE, I AND TWO DOZEN OTHERS HAD THE HOTS FORHER IN 7th GRADE.",
"Georg, I will explain to you now what a lesbian is.",
"Shut the crap up and go back in there, fuck... pull the right levers man and you're going to get laid... I hate you, by the way.. tomorrow I want a full update and no excuses, killer."
"Peace man.."
"bye."
So georg left and with him thomas and I think vicky was gone too. So, taking georg's words to heart I went in there, leaned in and kissed her, we made out for like 2 minutes when she says "fuck.."
me, "To my or to your place?" (not really, just added for comical effect)
"no, I don't feel anything at all..."
"hell, I'm confused, first that flirty stuff, then georg and vicky backed me up and said this is going to be a score tonight and now that."
Well, the evening was weird. She showed me a few spots on my body that send me down shivers, gave each other backrubs and other-body-part-rubs, gave her a huge hickey on the neck, and I have scratch- and bitemarks all over my upper body and tighs and cojones the size of coconuts.
Well, two things were absolutely certain, that the barmaid was fucking hot (dani backed me up in my opinion), and that I was not going to get a cure for my blueballs, so I made out a bit with her, had a wee and left.
we exchanged numbers and will meet up again, I hope it was just the beer goggles and the lightning in there, and that she is seriously unattractive, because having the hots for a lesbian is not on.
thanks and bye.
Next time, go for the barmaid
For real.... "I wish I was hetero tonight" isn't helping much either.
Lesbians are pretty upright eitherwise, I just should have asked her, how to push the right switches to have her hot friend instead...
Had a few smalltalks with alice recently. She's a really nice girl and I totally concur with myself that she's cute and totally understand myself why I wanted more :razz:. Lucky thing is, I can totally bear the fact that she turned me down and there aren't any uncomfortable moments. I don't even think much about it. We just talk regularly and I am thinking about asking her to meet up again. In fact I did today. On friday there is a big students party in the WUK and that I'm going. She said she has relatives coming back home on weekend, but she might be still there on friday, so let's see.
Sophie asked me today if I wanted to go for a cup of coffee on weekend, I said certainly and that she shall call me up.
then there is another girl I got to know last weekend. She seemed to be interested, keen to get in contact again (totally wanted to go with me to an upcoming party), etc, but now when she updated her profile on a certain website it seems she's in a relationship as well, argh!!!
My inner voice keeps bugging me about alice. And I had a few thoughts about sophie, since she is a really classy girl, totally my deal...
life's good, but complicated.
Best case scenario would be having a girlfriend and her as your best girl buddy or something, not able to fall for her.
Pretty cool site, you can upload different albums of photos etc unlimited me thinks.
So, with alice everything was a tad uncomfy. She's so silent, so devoid of emotions. I could never fathom her. I wasn't sure if I was in wrong place, if I bore her, if I was cool... We basically had very little contact.
I added her in icq today, and the convo was real cool
She said she totally appreciated how I had the courage to profess her my love and that she's so hurt herself that she had to turn me down, awwww....
Thank you icq! for making people more outspoken. We totally get along now, and well lets see... Have to pull myself together tho, since she's still the hottest tool far and wide.
After a few series of typing and series of no typing (probably typed something and erased it again) 1 or 2 minutes later I got, "You are just not my type, I'm sorry."
Well, honesty pays off. Can't be much bothered with anything right now...
The ups and downs in my life seem to alternate daily, I think I'm having a metaphorical motion sickness off of it.
I think I'm just too tender for this world....
need a shower, laterz.
hugs and shizzle for you
I dislike to notice that things have control over me, instead of me having control over them. Just a robot of chemicals in my brain....
[back to maths]
I do not know what to do. She would probably be totally ok with the idea of going out and have a drink sometime (like back in december), but with her passive way it always seems she's desintersted so you are afraid to ask in the first place.
Why would I even bother? I have a crush on her, got turned down, and kept bothering. Sensed another chance (stupid me), found out it would not work, kept bothering. Have the feeling an emotional bond of any kind would be easier to establish between a rock and you, but I keep bothering.
Mhmmm...
jenny30 from thesite pm'd me and wants to meet up. She's in vienna right this minute and that's pretty rad. All in all a tiresome day.
I know your pain, I've been turned down - about 3 times in a row - by a lad I've been after since November and it's just occured to me how much of a royal wankstain he is. Unfortunately it's taken 5 months at most for me to establish this, but I'm quite chuffed I have! I know what you're going through; little signals of hope with them texting/emailing/the odd flirtation out the blue et al. Makes your day a helluva lot brighter incomparison to what it originally was.
Shame you need to rely on said crush to action that brightness, though. But if your friends and so on are telling you to back off and move on and YOU conciously know you should as well, it's probably for the best you do. You could pass by a really fantastic time with someone else by completely hanging on for something that inevitably will never come.
If someone doesn't want something with you, it's a beating to your ego and esteem to consistantly chase it only to be slapped in the face again - I know this, trust me. I just thought it would have happened as this lad was older at 26 and seemed to be on the same page as me at the start and repeatedly kept chasing after me to when it suited him.
I've wisened up and it took for him to ditch me in a club to go shag some girl who's got a fiance. The girl he went off with fancied him originally and realised what an arse he was as he pulled the same shite with her. He's destined to be unhappy and alone until he sorts himself out, much like your Alice girl. He's quite the lad who sits quietly with our mates and that, takes things in, and is quick to be an absolute sarky cunt etc etc, but when it suits him he'll be nice as pie and ask you out. Grrrrrrr.
Anyways, a little off topic now, but here's the bottom line, mate.
It's not worth it. THEY'RE not worth it. If they were, then you wouldn't be making posts like these - you'd be heavy loved up with some gorgeous bit of fluff.
Anyways, I do hope it sorts itself out and you hopefully move on and the like. Chin up, son.
Aww, I haven't replied in here yet as I just like to sneakily observe the life of Strubbs but I have to say something.
You think and analyse too much, that much is not up for debate. It's not a bad thing but when it causes you so much torment and leaves you stuck in a rut where you keep going back to the same hopeless situation then it's time for a kick in the pants. Please don't beat yourself up over this Alice lassy (let me do it, instead :razz:).
But seriously, 1983 has given good allegory and - thus - advice. It sounds like even she doesn't know what she wants so it's not right to condemn her but really... you don't need that. You are the coolest Austrian I've come across so far and I know a buttload of cool Austrians
I just recently came to the depressing realization that a number of girls I got to know seem to think so-so of me (not to say bad). Let me give you a few examples.
So my main man georg is always anxious about my well-being, bless him, and he has usually quite interesting people to introduce me to.
So, first there was Sue about 2 years ago. It was just a quick hello, and we did not relate much. But when we left he said "you dork man. Sue totally wanted you. She askes so many questions like if you are free, when you've been on the toilet." I did not want to believe him, thinking he was winding me up. Our mutual friend nikki totally comfirmed him, and when I said that I think those two are talking shit they nearly collapsed "MAN. I jump down this bridge right this second if I'm lying here." So I asked georg for her number the next day and when I texted her, she did not know anymore who I am, and that I shall stop bothering her. Had this really weird stalkerish feeling.
next girl, jassi... Got along great. Hardly clicked that quick with a girl. So many things in common, so good conversation. It was just on one wavelenght, really entertaining and remarkable evening. Next day I got wind of that she said something along of "oh god, I give him 1 week before he professes his love to me." (in a desinterested way).
Haven't seen sophie 2 days in uni (and we are a small degree, so you always see everyone each day, and the lectures are fairly hard, so you are adviced to attend them). I write her a text asking what's up, if she's not well or if she's just chilling out, because I haven't seen her now for 2 days... No answer whatsoever. She seems to kinda flee from me.
Georg introduced me to anna. I posted it back in the thread. We spend a cool evening and stayed in the pub with me when everyone (including anna's friend) else left already. Had a really nice evening and there was little bodily contact too (from her side) and just a bit of cheekiness (in the good sense). The next day georg told me (he studies with her), that she wrote him in icq, "well, he DOES know I have a boyfriend, right?"
We are getting along now quite ok, but still.
I'm quite popular around me peers, but on (too many) girls I always seem to leave a horrible impression and I have no idea why... Like I'm sending anti-pheromones, it's depressing.
Well, about the analyzing and over-interpretating briggi, that is - like you said - for sure, but I always have been a curious/enquiring and quite empathical guy, hmmm.....
If I originally had a point with that post, then I lost and forgot about it. maybe i add somethign later.
I think you should try and take a step back, take it slowly and don't beat yourself up about getting into a relationship but instead focus on just being friends first without despairing that every girl you meet may or may not be in love with you and if not why not. It seems like you are quite intense like that and the whole obsessing over females and all the sexual questions was why I had to cut back the msn contact.
I think you just need to relax a bit and I know its a cliche but you will find a girl when you stop looking- it seems like just now, you are looking far too hard. Relax!
We had a single fall-out, because you had a go at me, because I asked you a normal question. Instead of giving me an answer you patronized me.
It was just in jest anyway, since I had and have no interest in you whatsoever. It's reciprocal, if I have interest in a girl I'm rather timid and humble.
pm me, if you have the need to continue this.
I couldn't count up all the possibilities and people georg opened to me.
What brought me down lately was georgs well-being (or lack thereof) too. He is in a relationship with a metally abusive girl, who pretty much dominates him, and he even admits that. She is labile tho and he is very convinced that she is going to commit suicide if he leaves her. Most of the time it runs rather smooth and ok, but georg developed opinions and perspectives that - simply put - frighten me.
He sees sense and feels more content too, which makes me feel better as well. If I wasn't so terribly tired I'd probably smile right now
ahh, there it is, I do smile.
In the end it's all good and it's just how much you let things get to you.
It's the beginning of the hols, everyone. Lotsa organized parties already, one foosball tournament where I see lots of old friends and ex-collegues.
Mhmm..
:thumb: