Home General Chat
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Where Do Babies Come From?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Most colourful (but non factual answer) that helps you avoid the actual question wins .. :)

I tend to favour replies that mentions something about the stork ..

stork_baby.jpg

Failing that if I have kids of my own one day I'm sticking with the story that only women know the answer to that question so go ask your mother.. ;o)
«1

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They're all made in a converted teddy bear factory in Devon and posted out. Then you can also tell them that if they're naughty you can return them to the factory.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    eBay.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I tend to favour replies that mentions something about the stork ..

    The stork has sex with your mother, like on Family Guy?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zJLC2eG10Y
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When you want a baby you pray to god and he will put the baby inside mummys tummy so it can be safe.

    Or something like that :)
  • Options
    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    When a woman wants a baby she has to go to a graveyard, dig up dead corpses, and eat as many parts of them as possible. After eating so much for so many months on end, she gets very fat, but her body can pick apart the pieces that can still work and put them together into a baby that comes out when it's assembled.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Daddy's milk and mummy's eggs :thumb:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tbf i knew all about sperm and sex when i was 7. Lol, i even said to my dad when i was little the i was superman, that a single sperm from kyrpton had come through space and he'd been on the beach and it had landed in his mouth and then him and mum do their thing (didnt seem like an issue then) and i was conceived, avec super powers.

    How little ones have imagination, eh? :D
  • Options
    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    tbf i knew all about sperm and sex when i was 7.
    I did at 5, but I didn't think a mouth could be in this whole story somewhere until after 12! :D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I did at 5, but I didn't think a mouth could be in this whole story somewhere until after 12! :D

    lol, well i think i knew about it before, but at 7 was when i created my fabulous story. I think :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    When you want a baby you pray to god and he will put the baby inside mummys tummy so it can be safe.
    Only if your name's Mary and you happen to be the only white woman in the middle east.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Only if your name's Mary and you happen to be the only white woman in the middle east.

    Let's not get political :p it's for kids, afterall! :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my parents told me, when a man and his wife want a baby, they sit down with the doctor and talk about it, then in a month the lady is pregnant.

    one of my friends mums told him that she went to the baby market, chose the baby and they put it inside her to grow.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When a woman wants a baby she has to go to a graveyard, dig up dead corpses, and eat as many parts of them as possible. After eating so much for so many months on end, she gets very fat, but her body can pick apart the pieces that can still work and put them together into a baby that comes out when it's assembled.
    :crazyeyes I think I'd be mentally scarred after hearing that story as a child!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    from the milkman...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    from the milkman...

    He said non-factual. :p

    Which reminds me......Pat Mustard. aka the hairy baby maker.
    m22.jpg
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They come from the hospital.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was told the under the gooseberry bush story :yes:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cant remember now. Hospital I think.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was told the under the gooseberry bush story :yes:

    Don't think I know this one. Can someone please explain this one to me?

    Isn't there one about mummy giving daddy a special hug or something?:confused:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote: »
    Don't think I know this one. Can someone please explain this one to me?

    Well, it's a variation on finding the baby in the cabbage patch, except it's under a gooseberry bush instead :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh this reminds me of this joke, where the priest has to baptize 3 little babyborns. He takes the first girl and asks the mother which name she should have, "Cherry blossom, because when I conceived her a cherry blossom came into the window and fell on my tummy."
    He takes the second girl, another very beautiful little girl and asks the mother, "which name shall your daughter have?" - "rose petal, because when I conceived her a rose petal landed on my tummy."
    He takes the 3rd girl, utterly hideous and malformed and asked the mother, "which name shall your daughter have?" to which the mother responds, "tree."

    hoho...

    on topic: babies come from the internet. you can order them online, and then you get a white powder through mail. just add water and put it into the microwave and after 10 minutes *bing* here's ya baby.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Oh this reminds me of this joke, where the priest has to baptize 3 little babyborns. He takes the first girl and asks the mother which name she should have, "Cherry blossom, because when I conceived her a cherry blossom came into the window and fell on my tummy."
    He takes the second girl, another very beautiful little girl and asks the mother, "which name shall your daughter have?" - "rose petal, because when I conceived her a rose petal landed on my tummy."
    He takes the 3rd girl, utterly hideous and malformed and asked the mother, "which name shall your daughter have?" to which the mother responds, "tree."

    hoho...

    on topic: babies come from the internet. you can order them online, and then you get a white powder through mail. just add water and put it into the microwave and after 10 minutes *bing* here's ya baby.

    ahahahaha :D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Santa sleeps with all the mummys and brings a baby in his slay - wotta player.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Glittery wrote: »
    :crazyeyes I think I'd be mentally scarred after hearing that story as a child!

    I know!

    I hope his parents didn't actually put that idea in his head :p
  • Options
    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    ruby_soho wrote: »
    I know!

    I hope his parents didn't actually put that idea in his head :p
    Nah, I made it up when posting. I thought that was the point of the thread, guess I misunderstood. :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah - I thought it was the chance to make up ideas as well - although it was to make up ideas to avoid the question Indrid - not to destroy the psyche of a child
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well dear, one day Me and Your Mother got very drunk....
  • Options
    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Jim V wrote: »
    Yeah - I thought it was the chance to make up ideas as well - although it was to make up ideas to avoid the question Indrid - not to destroy the psyche of a child
    Hmm, I get your point. :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jim V wrote: »
    Yeah - I thought it was the chance to make up ideas as well - although it was to make up ideas to avoid the question Indrid - not to destroy the psyche of a child

    :lol:

    oh yeah i got that, i just don't think i was expecting to read something quite so far out :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't remember ever asking where babies came from :o
    When my first sister was born my parents bought me some Playmobil, I wasn't bothered about much else because I had some new Playmobil!
Sign In or Register to comment.