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Completely unfanciable. I'm going to top myself.

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hornet893 wrote: »
    I wish there were a way to address and sort out these things which I feel are what's holding me back, if there were some way to go about turning these things around I'd like to know:

    Go out tomorrow to town take a different route to what you normally take go to a record shop say hi to girl "could you give me some advice I wanna buy something for mum", or whatever, "can you give me a hand I was thinking or getting x what do you recommend or should I get y". She might think your crazy, so what or she might be nice and respond. You don’t have to fall madly in love with her or ask her out its just a way to get your talking with the opposite sex and not feeling awkward around them. When you walk done the street and you see a girl who catches your eye, give her a smile (not like help I’m lonely I want a shag smile) just a friendly smile with a nod of the head maybe. If she smiles back don’t panic just keep walking. Once you’ve passed her look behind you quickly to see if she does the same if she does good if not doesn’t matter.

    Jomery wrote: »
    I have possibly the most active social life of anyone on this forum, go out 5-7 nights a week without fail to bars, clubs, house parties and the rest, and every morning when I wake up I have another 5 girls I met wanting to be Facebook friends, and friends only.

    Maybe, just maybe that’s the problem do something different for a change. On the weekend have a late lunch with a male friend cos spending time with these girls hasn’t changed your luck. Hit the shops not window shopping just a different environment my open up different opportunities. Or you could catch film, that’s normally the time girls go out with there girl friends. You never know, you mate see a girl who catches your eye.

    Both of you relax please stop stressing we girls can smell this a mile off
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    simply _give up_!!! Go out with your (real) friends (make some, if it has to be) and have a good time. Fuck that obsessed looking for possible copulate partners and just spend funny evenings, that are worth speaking of. Do whatever is due to enjoy yourself.

    You'll be surprised how easy and from-itself things will work out. Stop caring, make the best of the bad bargain and stop letting it take over your mind 24/7 to make you depressed.

    Much sooner as you would expect you'll find her, out of the blue. It just works like that...
    Ok, I agree there, so now it leads us to the next bump: some advice on how to make friends from scratch, when I've got none?
    Both of you relax please stop stressing we girls can smell this a mile off
    I ain't stressing. To be honest I didn't come on here to impress you with how mellow and relaxed I can be. I regret that this is all you're seeing of me though. Like I go around in real life and only whine about how my life is shit and it's all "their" fault. This place is like the only outlet for this.

    I know we've both been told many times now some stuff to the effect of "it will sort itself out" and "nice people will show up when you least expect it", but it's been years of lonely limbo now and nothing like that has happened. It could another five years, another ten, or it could could even be like this forever and that, is a scary thought.
    Go out tomorrow to town take a different route to what you normally take go to a record shop say hi to girl "could you give me some advice I wanna buy something for mum", or whatever, "can you give me a hand I was thinking or getting x what do you recommend or should I get y". She might think your crazy, so what or she might be nice and respond. You don?t have to fall madly in love with her or ask her out its just a way to get your talking with the opposite sex and not feeling awkward around them. When you walk done the street and you see a girl who catches your eye, give her a smile (not like help I?m lonely I want a shag smile) just a friendly smile with a nod of the head maybe. If she smiles back don?t panic just keep walking. Once you?ve passed her look behind you quickly to see if she does the same if she does good if not doesn?t matter.
    ....what in the name of
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Look, no offense dude... But when it comes to pullng women and getting laid a job doesn't mean shit. If you go out on the pull, you just go and pull... Your life story is irrelevent, a pull is a pull not marriage.

    I don't see why this is going round and round in circles.

    Just chill out man... I mean at the end of the day a lot of women can sense a desperateman a mile off and try to avoid them. So you got your high flying job, a nice flat yadda yadda... If you want to boost your self-esteem why not invest in a new haircut, or go to a style consulatant, or get some new clothes (not saying you need them, but it can boost confidence at least for women)... Take up a new hobby, go to some new clubs...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    deceelpool wrote: »
    I can't even be arsed going into that lot of miserable, self pitying shite.


    go away then, you're not helping :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Namaste wrote: »
    Look, no offense dude... But when it comes to pullng women and getting laid a job doesn't mean shit.
    Depends what the job is. If it's rock star, footballer or actor, it can make a difference. ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As I said earlier in this thread, and probably in the other one, your problem is that you are seeing all the women you meet as someone to conquer so that you can claim your prize and have sex. Whilst you persist in holding this attitude not much is going to change.

    You somehow expect to find your dream girl somewhere randomly, "pull" her and presumably take her home and ..well.

    But you're ignoring all the women who are already in your life. All these women who want to be your friend. You dismiss them as nothing because they have said they want to be your friend. To me, these should be the most important people in your life. If you actually devoted time to any of these girls, you might just find that a friendship becomes more than that - a real, proper, relationship. But that will never happen whilst you persist in seeing women as objects to be conquered for your own needs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jomery wrote: »
    At the club there was a bit of hand-holding, touching etc, was dancing with her then suddenly before I know it some random guy in a rugby shirt walks right up, grabs her and pulls her. And they embrace passionately. And I'm standing there looking incredibly embarrassed and sheepish, before leaving pissed off.

    Maybe that should give you a few tips. As my mum says, there are two types of people in this world, the quick and the hungry! Maybe if you'd have had the confidence to kiss her it would have been you two 'embracing passionately'.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whether someone fancies you depends on a few things. But i think it mainly relies on attitude, confidence and fate. Attitude, because if you have a bad one, people will see what you are after and stay away. Confidence because you need it to go up to people and be secure in yourself and fate, because sometimes things are/arent supposed to be.

    Thats a generalisation but most of all, dont go looking for it. Just do what you are doing and when you see something worth going for, go for it and see where it leads
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    delahoya wrote: »
    Whether someone fancies you depends on a few things. But i think it mainly relies on attitude, confidence and fate. Attitude, because if you have a bad one, people will see what you are after and stay away. Confidence because you need it to go up to people and be secure in yourself and fate, because sometimes things are/arent supposed to be.

    Thats a generalisation but most of all, dont go looking for it. Just do what you are doing and when you see something worth going for, go for it and see where it leads

    I agree with the confidence part, sometimes "shy" people can get tiresome because they make you do all the work (some people I know pretend to be shy because they like being chased or fought for). Atittude is important too as well as sense of humour.

    I don't believe in fate though, it's nice to think "ahh well it wasn't meant to be", but imo that's obviously a nice way of convincing yourself that you were meant to lose something through divine intervention. Maybe taking the attitude "that went shit, but I've learnt for next time" is healthier.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't believe in fate either, but if someone doesn't fancy you you cannot make them fancy you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok maybe fate is the wrong word. But if its not fate, then maybe its relies a lot more on confidence and attitude. I just think its the right word to put in because in theory, your ideal partner could live in another country and you just dont know it! If you happen to bump into each other then great, but then again the chances of you doing that are small. i.e. down to fate
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So much of pulling is just a 'right time, right place' kind of thing. It really isn't something that you should stress over. I'm not trying to trivialise your problem here but you can't make yourself pull so stop worrying about it.

    I've skim read a lot of this thread over the past few weeksand from what I can tell you have a perfect life apart from not having a bird, yet you're not happy. That really suggests to me that your life isn't as perfect as you make it out to be. Your 'dream' job isn't actually 'your' dream job maybe or your flat is great but you're lonely. Being single is just one part of your life that you're focusing on but it's probably not the only thing that is wrong with it.

    As others have said, go out and enjoy yourself with friends of your own sex. Go and play footie rather than going to the gym; it's much more sociable. Go down the pub and shoot some pool instead of swanning around with your gal pals and giving off the whole 'gay' vibe.

    I'm certain that there is nothing wrong with you except maybe an air of desperation. You need to enjoy your life and be happy with who you are before anyone else with see how great life with you could be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There are millions of "ideal partners" at any one time. When you meet one and stick with them you try and rationalise it as fate because they are so special to you.

    The OP's trouble seems to be a lack of confidence and a fairly misogynistic attitude. Yeah, its depressing when you don't get laid, but if you consider a girl as a prize then you won't get laid. Girls do like being wined and dined but they don't like being bought.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    The OP's trouble seems to be a lack of confidence and a fairly misogynistic attitude. Yeah, its depressing when you don't get laid, but if you consider a girl as a prize then you won't get laid. Girls do like being wined and dined but they don't like being bought.

    Spot on... Women should be treated as ends, not means to an end.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was wondering if Jomery is the same poster as Mowbray as in this topic:
    http://vbulletin.thesite.org/showthread.php?t=107856

    however Mowbray claims to be 24 and Jomery only 23 so perhaps they are different. Seem to have similar stories though. Similar background too.

    "Public school" is generally all-same-sex and I guess both have grown up with little contact with the opposite gender and still find them in some way mysterious and hard to relate to in a normal way.

    I also feel that Jomery in particular seems to lack certain skills in interacting with women and particularly in reading their signs properly. My guess is that he may even put off women who might be interested by attempting to kiss them too prematurely. His lack of confidence may also put them off.

    Women should be treated as people.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dead thread - we've already got another one of his going and the one that's turned into another one of his threads.
This discussion has been closed.