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Dealing with my depression... help!

SystemSystem Posts: 8,622 Staff Team
In a word I feel like utter SHIT. I'm tired all the time from lack of sleep, I have LOADS of coursework to do over the next 6 weeks to the end of college, I have to work more and more just recently, which is okay money wise but I stay late (i.e leave work at 2am), I also have to look for full-time work and I am scared I'm not going to pass my I.T. course.

I walk 6 miles to and frmo college everyday, because I dont like the bus. I'm beginning to feel really weak and many times like I'm going to faint, I get light headed and this heat is driving me crazy. I get headaches, my left arm is contantly numb and I get the terrible tightness in my chest.

Last time this happened I had fits, and was --> <-- close to a nervous breakdown, which scared the life out of me, I never want to get like that again... it is the single most scariest and worst moment of my life. I don't want it to happen again.

I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!! (Suicide is not an issue here, I'm not going to kill myself) But I often wish I'd just go to sleep and never wake up.

The one thing thats keeping me focused is my holiday with my mate at the end of August to France, but even then, if I get a job and cant get leave then I can't go... which is just perfect so it doesn't look like I'm going to get a holiday this year. I'm supposed to be going to Wales next week, but I don't want to as I have to complete my work.

I am depressed and stressed out and don't know how to deal with it. I just want a shoulder to cry on or someone comforting to hold for just a few minutes, then I can carry on working.

I'm going quite mad and I can't tell my friends or family.

Sorry I guess my problem is nothing compared to some... its just I don't handle stress well, and I just don't know what to do, I don't want to have fits again.

-INSANE

[This message has been edited by Insane (edited 25-05-2001).]

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey

    well im not too sure what to say, i mean im in a similar situation an di know what its like, and i also know that u wont believe me when i try to tell you that i know what u mean, because u probably feel alone, which happens ((((((insane))))))

    the only advice i can realy give u is to hang in there and try to stay as strong as u can, which i know is really hard coz thats what im doin at the mo. u probably know that im not exactly having the best of times at the moment with all my shit that is goin on, just i guess u really have to look forward to ure holiday 2 france, coz im sure u woill have a wicked time.

    even tho u hate buses, id stil recommend u get it so that u dotn feel as weak, coz i get that sometimes and it can be so fuckin scary. bein light headed can ne cool now and then, but sometimes it really pisses u off. maybe u need to eat more, i know i do. i also know that i dont want to for various reasons but i have to force it down me coz i know that its what i need. if uv got tightness in ure chest mayb u need 2 smoke less or summin, or mayeb ure on some sort of medication that doesnt suit u?

    i know exactly (i think anyway) bout whta u mean with wanting to go to sleep and not wake up. sometimes im in school and i just wish that i'd faint or somethin and stay unconciuos for a real long time until my life sorts itself out. ditto for the wanting to be held as well, that really hurts me sometimes.

    ist up to u whether u tell ure friends and family, mine know now which is a combination of good and bad points.

    i dont handle stress that well either. i know that other people in the world have exam stress, paranoia, eatin issues and drink and drug issues, so i dont know why some people can handle it and some cant.

    either way man i hope anything that ive said could be of any help at all, <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">. if u ever wanna chat u know where to find me. i hope it all gets beytter u deserve to be happier. hang in there, uve got us lot to support u.

    take care xxx


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i added u 2 my yahoo now anyway <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Mega Poster Posts: 2,822
    ((((((((((((matt))))))))))))

    i do know some of how you feel. ive been really stressed lately, mainly from coursework and ive developed depression i think. ive seen the doc onoce and that was just me crying mainly, ive got to go back on 7th june. but i totally know what you mean about wanting to be asleep for a long long time. it would mean all the hassles would sort themselves out and i wouldnt have to deal with them anymore.

    my rooms a big mess and i cant motivate myself even to tidy it,m its too much effort and the thought of it makes me cry. i took an exam the other day i was sure i was going to fail and not be able to do anything in, but i surprised myself.

    i dont really have much advice, apart from talking about it to people who arent gonna tell you to snap out of it, or some other such crap, but who understand, even if they've not experienced it themselves, really helps. and i just thought id let you know that i know how you feel. <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
    ~ the late, great Douglas Adams
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you, I have talked to a few people an ex-thesite member gave me loads of good advice, and a few other people who I know. I am going on holiday next week. (Scarborough/Bridlington if anyone wants to meet lol) that should let me relax... although I guess I'll be worrying about my college work.

    I feel better, I've been doing things to take my mind off my situation... (posting on this site is one thing)

    Thanks again!

    See you all after my holiday! I'll let you know how I'm doing.

    Hope anyone else on this site and anyone in the world who is stressed and/or depressed recovers soon! and quickly.

    Especially GfM and Charley! Thanks!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    anytime <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; have a good one.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey insane....hope things start to look up for u soon. Depression is really pants!
    Maybe a break will do u some good. I hope u have a nice time mate ((insane))
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Mega Poster Posts: 2,822
    thanks matt <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    hope your holiday helps you a bit, i know last night cheered me up for a bit anyway. <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
    ~ the late, great Douglas Adams
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