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Is it worth it without the fireworks?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Comments
Mila
The things I remember disliking about the earlier relationship were the sex, in that he was demanding, and the fact that he was very protective, and would ring every night, during tea, without fail. Whether or not it was worth it, I'm not sure. At the time it beat being on my own, but I'm not the sort of person who likes playing the field.
I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him, which is where I think the sparks come in. I also think that the spark is either there or it isn't, it doesn't grow, but that's just in my limited experience.
:yes: I think these are really fair points.
Was you ex your first love/long-term relationship Katchika? So many people I've spoken to still have very fond feelings for their first love even if it had a sticky end, and it can be really tough to accept that after losing someone you thought you were going to be with forever, things can ever work out with someone else.
Perhaps you are taking some of the things you do with your current guy for granted, whereas when you did them with your ex they were exciting and undiscovered? If this is the case then maybe you could arrange to do things with your new guy that you've never done before so that there isn't the same temptation to compare. You could also ask your fella to introduce you to some new things (not football related ) so that you can appreciate him for his different traits more.
Ultimately it's about identifying ways that your boyfriend is enriching your life, and if he isn't at all - that's when you maybe have to seriously re-think. If he is then over time I think the love will grow.
Overall, try not to romanticise your relationship with your ex too much and remind yourself of why you broke up - although I know that can be a painful process.
I hope you start to feel better soon.