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Thankyou
nothing to apologise for
You have nothing to apologise for Kirsty. x
Alcohol simply makes emotions stronger- if you feel happy you will be more happy after a few beers, but if you feel depressed then you will feel more depressed after a few beers. The danger is to drink too much too, which will make you really depressed.
If you feel so tired and you just want your brain to shut up then you need to do something to distract yourself. Try doing some exercise, go for a run somewhere, make your legs and your lungs hurt like hell. Physical work is a good way of distracting your mind, and it releases endorphins into the bloodstream- its the endorphins from physical exertion or pain that makes cutting feel like such a relief.
Try not to worry, I think you're so brave even going for help, I haven't even reached that stage yet. I hope it goes ok tomorrow for you i really do. PM me if you need a chat xx
been pushed into it-hate it-would rather just keep harming cos i still do anyway-sorry
Know what you mean, I'm not ready either i don't think, I need it which I guess just sounds so pathetic doesn't it? I feel like I am in such a mess.
doesnt sound at all pathetic-its a coping mechanism
Wish I had another sort of coping mechanism though that didn't hurt my boyfriend so much though and one that I didn't have to hide for fear of being misunderstood and one that didn't make me feel so crap about myself and one that I didn't have to rely on so much. Sorry for all that.
dont worry-my problems pathetic-just talk away-im here to listen
It's not at all pathetic, I shouldn't be going on about it. Seeing as I can't even help myself I've no right to really go on about it. Thanks though for your support, Gets very lonely sometimes when no-one knows how you're really feeling, when you're wearing a fake smile on the outside but you're crying on the inside.
its ok for you to talk-i know what thats like-hurts to feel so alone
Thanks so much for the chat tonight, you've really helped me, sorry I couldn't do anything for you, I'm a bit useless right now. I hope it all goes ok tomorrow for you xx
don't you dare.
ily
x
Don't mean to sound nasty or anything, but I think the way you've been lately, I think talking to your counseller would be a good idea.
Too late petal, too late.
I don't mean in a fatalistic sense, I mean that I have to face facts. I'm never going to change. I'm doomed to insecurity, angst, self doubt, and fucking up every relationship I'll ever have. I have a self destructive streak a mile wide and I'll never conquer it.
I'll just accept that I'm a mediocrity and lead my mediocre life.
(ily too)
I dunno what to say to you, but like...you know where I am sweetheart.
Loveyou