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very low self esteam/clothes don't work/i feel and look v bad
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
silly title sorry...
i'm having a difficult time right now, i'm trying to lose weight, which i have but i still feel and look fat. i've got a bad case of exzema on my eyes so i can't wear eye make up. i look in the mirror and i want to cry! maybe this shouldn't be in this bit but i wasn't sure...
the majority of my clothes are hand-me-downs and charity shop ones so, not in the best condition, and often not a good fit. but i don't have much money to buy things...but in almost all the photos i see of me i look really bad!
i can never find a foundation that suits me thats not very expensive, and a pair of jeans is a nightmare...
maybe there is a trainee stylist thats on the boards that just waiting to help me! i don't really know what anyone can do to help me...but if you do, then it would be great!
i'm having a difficult time right now, i'm trying to lose weight, which i have but i still feel and look fat. i've got a bad case of exzema on my eyes so i can't wear eye make up. i look in the mirror and i want to cry! maybe this shouldn't be in this bit but i wasn't sure...
the majority of my clothes are hand-me-downs and charity shop ones so, not in the best condition, and often not a good fit. but i don't have much money to buy things...but in almost all the photos i see of me i look really bad!
i can never find a foundation that suits me thats not very expensive, and a pair of jeans is a nightmare...
maybe there is a trainee stylist thats on the boards that just waiting to help me! i don't really know what anyone can do to help me...but if you do, then it would be great!
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Comments
I get that having crappy clothes can make you feel crappy, but obviously not just having great clothes makes a person happy, you need to be able to feel good about yourself too.
I agree with good well fitting bras. Make a huge difference. Dunno about matching knickers though, as long as they fit well and dont give you wedgies and/or 4 bumcheek look.
If youre not keen on jeans, quality black trousers, especially wideleg ones are usually fairly flattering, and although may be a bit unimaginative - who wants to be imaginative with their trousers? Better to have a couple of pairs that go with everything. They dont even have to be expensive. I had a pair from primark that lasted me years. in fact ive still got them, im just grown out of them at the moment. They were about £5, just plain cotton brown widelegs.
As for finding a foundation, well perhaps you could visit the body shop, I know they aren't the cheapest but they are certainly not the priciest and their products are usually very good. Also, perhaps a tinted moisturiser would suit your skin better, as they are not so heavy as foundation and just give a very natural coverage and you could use a bit of powder over the top to matify it.
I found this website which has a few tips about makeup for skin with eczema, maybe this will give you a few extra tips: carefair.com
Does a low dose steroid cream not help?
I know doctors dont advise it, but my ex had eczema on his eyes and put really low dose hydrocortisone on it and it cleared it up when nothing else would, although best not to use it as a long term thing if you dont want your skin to melt away.
I agree that you don't have to wear matching knickers and bra's every day - but if you have just one pair that matches for some random reason it makes you feel much better about yourself. Plus if you cant' afford a whole new outfit even buying a new pair of knickers can give you a bit of a boost!
However twisted_trinity - I want to reassure you that you are lovely and beautiful - even if you don't feel it at the moment.
There are quite a lot of beauty school places in London which are looking for willing victims to practice on - maybe you could consider going to one of those?
How about a tinted moisturiser? I tried one last summer, and loved it because it didn't highlight my psoriasis.
On the wardrobe front, I agree with what's been said - you need to buy the basics first. They don't have to be expensive either, you can catch a fair few bargains in the high street these days, so it's always worth having a look, even if you don't buy anything.
What shape are you? Apple or Pear?
You mentioned about losing weight- I really would recommend exercising lots though, as exercise will boost your endorphines. You mentioned about being on a budget, before I joined a gym I was walking more, going up and down the stairs several more times just to burn the calories, using cans of baked beans for weights, doing sit ups, star jumps- you name it. It just proved to me that you don't need to pay £60 a month or whatever for a gym membership. (I'm not being hypocritical- the only reason I go to a gym is because I had a membership brought for me).
If you can't wear eye make-up you can still wear shiny lip gloss (especially if you have full lips), and I've always found that instead of foundation you can use concealer to hide out spots or blemishes, and you can still wear some blush on top of that. Also you can always accessorise with pretty dangly earrings that can be very flattering. If you have a weight problem then preferably go for long thin earrings instead of big round ones.
And I agree with someone else who said that if you can't spend too much on clothes right now you can take really good care of your skin (and hair) so you feel better about yourself. Take care of always having your hair clean and shiny and use perfume so you smell good. This can sound sort of obvious but thing is when you're feeling a bit down you sometimes let yourself go a bit, so don't let that happen to you! Be sure to try and take control of your life, not just let things run over you. And for this exercising is a great place to start, as well as helping you lose some calories.
Good luck