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Only genuinly compassionate, sympathetic people need read this

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,

I've got a huge dilemma at the moment, and although its quite long winded I'd really appreciate it if some of you could read it and fofer me some feed back. :)

It all started this week at work.

I happened to mention to two fellow colleagues (N & M) that one of the regulars in the pub I work in is quite hot. One of them then just mentioned it to the supervisor on duty that night (W). Up to this point no problem. But he then told one of the other supervisors (C) who was just having a drink.

She then went and told him! :sour: at this point I'm hiding in the kitchen of the pub almost in tears, feeling sick - simply because I get quite embarassed with things like that.

Now M, W & C are all teasing me doing things like putting all the ash-trays on the table that this regular was sitting on so that I'd have to go out there.

At this point can I just say that I can understand if you think i'm over reacting, but it gets ..... odder.

After about 25 minutes of hiding the dep manager (who i didn't realise was even in the pub) had seen it all going on, came out to me and say the regular in question wanted a word with me.

Now remember I wasn't 100% sure of what he'd been told, how he'd react, anything so I again came close to fainting but went over to him.

He invited me to sit down and we got the truth out (it turned out C had said I was in love with him and i imagined him when I was sleeping with my boyfriend, etc :mad: ). Then he started rattling off a list of reasons we wouldn't work as a potential couple: we were both with other people, etc and the fact he's got a good 30 years on me. And was all in all quite sweet about it, he said he just wanted to make sure I was ok, gave me a peck on the cheek and that was it.

So I went back to work.

Next thing I know I've been given a break (which is odd because you usually have to beg for it) but it was because the Reg. had asked to talk to me again. so we just chatted about nothing really.

then as I went to leave he said "if it's any constilation (sp) I wish I was 30 years younger"

I just ignored it as by now it was getting late and he'd had a bit to drink.

Then he bought me a drink (which trust me I soon necked :thumb: )

And finally as he left (a bit worse for wear) he gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

......

So basically thats it, to top it off I've had a crush on him for well over a year now, so obviously the temptations there, but I have a boyfriend who I love. We've been together for over three years and this is the first time I've felt tempted :( and I hate myself for it, but i don't want to just deny its there incase it festers. I know I'm going to see this regular at least 3 times a week as well - I just don't know what to do :crying: :crying: :crying:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How um....nothing! You've already said it, you and he are both in relationships and hes 30 years your senior (not that this is a massive problem but not many relationships would work with this kind of age gap).
    you'll just have to grin and bear the embarrasment factor I'm afraid although i think your managers sound like fucking school kids - "my friend likes you she wants to kiss you blah blah blah" You should tell them to grow up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeh the bitch who told him did get an official warning

    I know deep down inside I'm just going to have to be smart, and hope the crush just goes - as I said in another post I do develop them really quickly but usually they go as quickly as they came.

    I don't think I'd physically be able to cheat - I just need enough people to tell me to get this into my thick head lol

    It's so stupid how something so petty can mess up your mind so badly :crying:

    thanks for replying
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You should seriously think about things with your boyfriend if you're even thinking of someone else like that tbh. Its hardly fair on him now is it?
    Just ride this one out though, I'm sure your work colleagues will let it go eventually, your crush will disapear and things can go back to the norm.
    Oh and you dont have to thank me for replying, thats what this forum is all about :thumb:
    Thanks anyway though :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love my boyfriend pure and simple. I know deep down that I'd never do anything to hurt him.

    Trust me, I've forgivven (sp) him enough times to prove that.

    Its just that little niggling voice in the back of my head, that little "what if" voice!!!

    As I said I hate myself for even thinking any of this, but I'm not going to deny to myself that I'm tempted - or it could get worse :(

    lol ok, I'm just really grateful for any advice I can get. All my friends are good mates with my boyfriend too so obviously I can't go to any of them with this
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    slightly off topic but I bet you work in a wetherspoons?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    err ......... no but there is one near by that we work closely with, why? :eek2:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No just seemed like behaviour typical of a wetherspoons, I'm a manager in a wetherspoons and I saw you were a student.
    I guess I put 2 and 2 together and ended up with 5 lol hope everything works out regardless.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    o ok, thanks - we do have alot fo ex-wetherspoon workers comeing to join us.

    Well thanks everyone, please any new advice will be greatly appreciated - I'm off to bed, hopefully I'll wake up with a clearer head!

    Night all :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd get the colleagues back in an inventive, embarrasing way !
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, feel honoured, but make it clear that you are in a happy relationship. Tell him it should have never reached his ears that you find him attractive, but that's it already. He's atractive to you, but you two won't work together and you do not want to work together, because you are two in a relationship. It's nice he's so understanding about that.

    problem solved.
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