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Completely unfanciable. I'm going to top myself.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Background: 23, good degree from prestigious uni, dream job. Virgin, never been kissed, never had a girlfriend. :crying:

I can't cope anymore with lovely girls telling me every single day that they can't believe I'm still single despite the fact they'd never be interested themselves.

I can't cope anymore with being a well-known socialite but leaving every party alone whilst everyone else is hooked up.

I can't cope anymore with people asking how many people I've pulled and slept with. The truth: 0 and 0.

I can't cope anymore with male friends going on about the random pulls they got on nights out and which girls are chasing them.

I can't cope anymore with female friends going on about which guys like them, how they don't really fancy someone but would pull them anyway, but would never pull me.

I can't cope anymore with female friends going on about how all men are bastards, how much they've been hurt by guys and how they want someone like me, yet for whatever reason would never actually go out with me.

I can't cope anymore with the most drunk of girls in clubs quickly turning their cheek if I try to kiss them having been grinding with them all night.

I can't cope anymore with taking newly met girls out dancing, buying all their drinks for some guy to just walk in and pull them.

I can't cope anymore with crying myself to sleep every night that despite everything I have achieved in academic, careerist and monetary terms, I cannot achieve the most basic thing in human life - love, copulating, finding a partner.

I can't cope anymore with thinking that I've gone through high school, university and a graduate scheme and have missed out on one of the important things that everyone looks back on, and not through choice.

I can't cope with living anymore, to wrap that up.

There's no point in going on.

I'm too scared to jump out of the top of my building or take an overdose of pills on the off-chance I don't kill myself and just get badly hurt, hospitalized and embarrassed for life.

I need a gun. If I had a loaded gun in my hand right now I would without any hesitation shoot myself and end it all now. I don't know where to get one. I'm based in London. I read in the newspaper last week (David Cameron's 'Hug a Hoody' thug) that all the inner city gangs have easy access to them, how do I approach them to get one?

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm in a similar jam as you, only I'm 20 not 23 and have pretty much resigned to the fact that it's going to be this way for the rest of my life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hornet893 wrote: »
    I'm in a similar jam as you, only I'm 20 not 23 and have pretty much resigned to the fact that it's going to be this way for the rest of my life.

    The previous post should at least reassure you you're not the only one in this position. :no:

    Your not alone, there are plenty of others in the same position. Talk with others in the same position. Its a good feeling when you can talk with someone who knows exactly what your going thru.:)

    It might be good to think about why you are unfanciable? Im guessing it is because that is how you see yourself (nothing to do with what others think) It could be a case of how you percieve yourself, rather than the fact others find you unfanciable.

    hornet983 posted a similar question not long ago, there was some really good but frank advice given in that post. His replies were a little irratic but the advice given was good. Take a look at it, but be willing to listen to the advice people have given and be open to learn about yourself.

    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It might be good to think about why you are unfanciable? Im guessing it is because that is how you see yourself (nothing to do with what others think) It could be a case of how you percieve yourself, rather than the fact others find you unfanciable.

    Jomery, there are people and places who can help you. I've had suicidal thoughts before, and they pass - they will for you too, your life is worth living, you don't need a girlfriend to show you that. It's vital to love yourself before you expect someone to love you.

    Moodgym really helped me through a tough patch, you might relate to some of the characters on there, I know I did.

    There are also the Samaritans, they're on the end of a phone/email, [email protected]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Calvin wrote: »
    The previous post should at least reassure you you're not the only one in this position. :no:

    Your not alone, there are plenty of others in the same position. Talk with others in the same position. Its a good feeling when you can talk with someone who knows exactly what your going thru.:)

    It might be good to think about why you are unfanciable? Im guessing it is because that is how you see yourself (nothing to do with what others think) It could be a case of how you percieve yourself, rather than the fact others find you unfanciable.

    hornet983 posted a similar question not long ago, there was some really good but frank advice given in that post. His replies were a little irratic but the advice given was good. Take a look at it, but be willing to listen to the advice people have given and be open to learn about yourself.

    :thumb:
    I don't know anyone at all who has not had sex nevermind pulled. Well nobody who admits to it anyway so nobody I can speak to. I was bullied at 6th form for being (apparantly) the only virgin in the class.

    I've read hornet's thread, and a lot of stuff on this board, in great detail. I have spent many days at work just reading all the stuff on this Relationships board. Nothing seems to work. Whether I try being really confident, sexy, funny, shy, brash, making the moves or not, nothing makes any difference.

    I say I'm unfanciable because I'm 23 and to my knowledge not a single person has fancied me. Nobody has ever said so or indicated so, I have never received anything for Valentines, all I have is a string of girls saying how utterly wonderful I am yet they'd never be interested like that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can relate - and as cliche as it sounds you will meet women who want to be with you - it just might take time

    Took me years and that's something I have trouble actually admitting to - cos yeah, it's embarrassing - but I'm 27 now and comfortable with myself although when I was younger I had no luck with girls whatsoever...

    So, honestly you aren't the only one.

    I'm single again now - and I'm very happy being single - someone will come along again one day and I'm in no rush - you simply have to accept that's the way things are

    Please don't let it get you down too much - yeah it hurts and you don't think it'll change for you - but look past it, live life and you never know where it'll come from

    my god that sounded like something from a teen advice mag but it's true hehe

    oh and the fact you have girls saying you're fanciable is more than I had at 23 (not trying to make too much of a comparison) so one will bite at some point

    ...and I was still a virgin at 23

    79
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    People lie. Seriously, sex is everywhere, and some people just say they're doing stuff for a quiet life. Sometimes the people who talk about it most are the ones doing it the least.
    Whether I try being really confident, sexy, funny, shy, brash, making the moves or not, nothing makes any difference.

    I'm going to say something which you might not like, but sometimes, even if you try not to show it, people can tell if you're looking for someone, and it puts them off, because most people want someone who is happy and secure in themselves, another person in the mix is a pleasant side-effect, not the sole aim for another.
    I say I'm unfanciable because I'm 23 and to my knowledge not a single person has fancied me. Nobody has ever said so or indicated so, I have never received anything for Valentines, all I have is a string of girls saying how utterly wonderful I am yet they'd never be interested like that.

    You can't know that for sure. Some people are very shy, there are guys who I've had massive crushes on in the past who to this day have no idea that I liked them, I can hide it well. As harsh as it sounds, a person might have good looks, good career prospects, be nice, rich/powerful/lovely, but it doesn't mean life will give them a wonderful partner in return, it just doesn't work like that.

    It doesn't change the fact that this is affecting you in a manner where you're seriously thinking about sending your life. Please consider looking at the links I gave, you have to be happy in yourself first, otherwise it's so much more difficult dating and relating.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Having a girl and not being a virgin doesn't make your life complete or you any better than anybody else.

    Your position isn't the end of the world. There is so much more out there to enjoy that you can do with friends. Having a girlfriend is just the icing on top of the cake, you don't need one, but it's nice to have one.

    Like 79 said, your time will come and it will. Just sit back and enjoy what you have. You'll find someone eventually (probably when you least expect it).
    Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about, it's something you should be proud of. I know i would be. To me an older guy who's a virgin earns more of my respect than one who isn't.

    Just stay happy so girls want to be around you, appear confident even though you may not feel it and don't moan about your insecurities because that definitely will put girls off. Just be yourself so that when the right girl does come along, you know she loves you for who you are.

    Good Luck and stay positive :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hornet893 wrote: »
    I'm in a similar jam as you, only I'm 20 not 23 and have pretty much resigned to the fact that it's going to be this way for the rest of my life.

    Don't you guys think though, that for every man like you out there, there is surely a woman who is sitting there thinking exactly the same thing too?

    Perhaps the location of where you are looking for isn't actually an environment that suits the manner in which you present (sell) yourself. A drunken night down at the club trying to meet a girl isn't quite the same as meeting one at, say, a club that allows you to share mutual interests.

    I know of lots of sweet, nice girls who have so much to offer a man but are stuck out on a limb for no understandable reason whatsoever either.

    p.s. I am slightly stoned ...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote: »
    p.s. I am slightly stoned ...

    :D

    Best time to say things. Being stoned used to make me thing about thinks more rationally :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go_away wrote: »
    People lie. Seriously, sex is everywhere, and some people just say they're doing stuff for a quiet life. Sometimes the people who talk about it most are the ones doing it the least.

    :yes:
    Having a girl and not being a virgin doesn't make your life complete or you any better than anybody else.

    Very true.
    Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about, it's something you should be proud of. I know i would be. To me an older guy who's a virgin earns more of my respect than one who isn't.

    I second this comment.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think that your girl situation is the root of you feeling suicidal.

    You've already contradicted yourself in your first post, by stating that you have taken girls out on dates, that you have "grinded" with girls in clubs.

    If you were completely unfanciable, as it states in the title of this thread, then these two things wouldnt have happened.

    I think you've just been a bit unlucky with the particular girls you've associated with.

    If getting a girlfriend, a notch on your bedpost or a kiss is really important to you, then you need to think about the way you interact with women.

    You could also try to do some different things in your social life to increase the amount of women you meet. You could even try online dating.

    Its pointless giving up, you'll never get a girlfriend if your dead.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah sounds pretty familar.

    I am 22, 23 this year and yes I have had sex and kissed girls but I never had a gf and never pulled in a club.

    I never have girls fancying me except the a couple of crazies back 6th form.

    Went to uni and while I did get with 2 girls there, they both ditched me fo rno real reason and got with other dudes,it never got to a bf/gf stage.

    If you want sex - the net helps. Spend the time and you can find a girl who wants action. Yeah theres a lot of guys and yeah you won't see half the girls you talk to but belive me, there ar egirls out there. Some are virgins that wann lose it as much as you do. Otheres want sex. My tip, talk like a decent human being, dont go straight into obvious sex talk i.e "wanna fuck".

    as for getting a gf, I dunno. I am still looking myself lol.

    Clubs, I never pull and half the time if not all the time I don't even get to grind with them either so your not alone there.

    sucks you got female friends that won't go with you. Leats you have them tho, I got no real female friends that i see.

    Ask them if they could hook you up?

    London is a massibve city, I heard lots of tale sof people pulling, shagging and having relationships in equal measure so just go fro it I guess.

    dream job and money eh? I'll take that. I am sick of my shity admin job pissing me off everyday. I got a degree and I am doing a non degree job. It sucks balls. I work in a uni so am surrounde dby young sexy undergrads all doing their own thing and don't see me coz I am staff.

    so your better off then me.

    oh and a shot to the head doesn't guarentee death. I saw a kid that shot himself in the face, survived and bloody hell does he look bad now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go_away wrote: »
    your life is worth living, you don't need a girlfriend to show you that. It's vital to love yourself before you expect someone to love you.

    ABSOLUTLY!

    Like Blah already said, I don't think the girl situation is really the root of the problem. If you were really happy except for this one annoyance that you're finding it hard getting a girl, then I don't think it would be making you feel suisidal.

    And like Go_away has already said, there are places that can help with suisidal feelings and they're definatly worth contacting.

    Maybe you should give yourself a break from actively looking to meet a girl to do whatever with and give yourself some time-out, so the pressures off and it won't constantly be on your mind; it may help you stop feeling so critical about yourself, and when you're not feeling critical about yourself you'll feel more confident, which I have to say is always more attractive than when you can sense someone has really low self-esteem... It's just offputting for girls; I think probably because they feel they'd be taking on the responsibility of making you happy, and it shouldn't be that way.

    Do some things for yourself to built up your confidence in yourself; give yourself something to be proud of and a distraction to keep your mind busy from these suisidal thoughts.
    It sounds like you've achieved a lot to say you're only 23; you've probably come to expect a lot from yourself because of this so when something doesn't quite go right it's hard to accept.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, there is just one imaginable problem for me:
    You are too shy. You never start convo and if you do, you do not give the other gal the impression you dig her. You never flirt, you do not strike attraction, because probably nobody even notices you. And if they do, they do not know how or why they should approach you, because you are just too infathomable. Most girls I cam across do not approach whatsoever...

    Every man can fuck, if he wants and tries hard enough, and if it has to be "hey wanna fuck tonight?", that's 4 slaps by the girls, 5 more by the girl's boyfriends, but the 10th time it will work.

    Be more assertive and don't expect miracles happen to you. If you are not a ladykiller you really WILL feel your guts, and probably trip over a few words if you approach someone, and if you are too afraid of that, you won't see success dude.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Well, there is just one imaginable problem for me:
    You are too shy. You never start convo and if you do, you do not give the other gal the impression you dig her. You never flirt, you do not strike attraction, because probably nobody even notices you. And if they do, they do not know how or why they should approach you, because you are just too infathomable. Most girls I cam across do not approach whatsoever...

    Every man can fuck, if he wants and tries hard enough, and if it has to be "hey wanna fuck tonight?", that's 4 slaps by the girl, 5 more by the girl's boyfriend, but the 10th time it will work.

    Be more assertive and don't expect miracles happen to you. If you are not a ladykiller you really WILL feel your guts, and probably trip over a few words if you approach someone, and if you are too afraid of that, you won't see success dude.

    Ha that's so true - I'm still kicking myself that I didn't go and speak to the gorgeous girl I saw at a club I went to last weekend

    ...but I'll try harder next time I see her!

    It does sound like the OP is lacking a bit of self confidence - and is maybe too shy (cos being shy is what stopped me when I was younger - I was invisible because of it)

    79
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't wish to sound unsympathetic, but the advice hasn't changed very much since the last time you asked the same question. The whole world doesn't care how many women you've had, and the whole world doesn't care how many women you want to have. The only person who cares is you. To be blunt, it is you that has the problem, because your views are so skewed from reality. You're not a bad person or a defective person, but you're not seeing things straight.

    Having a partner is not a right, regardless of how good your university degree is, and how good your spending power is. Having a partner is not something that is the be-all and end-all of life, it isn't what defines you as human and it isn't what defines you as valuable. Having a partner is certainly not a reward for doing well at university and getting a decent job, and considering it as such will only make you dissatisfied and angry when you don't get what you feel you "deserve".

    The biggest question you have to ask is: why is it such a big issue for you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    _79_ wrote: »
    Ha that's so true - I'm still kicking myself that I didn't go and speak to the gorgeous girl I saw at a club I went to last weekend

    ...but I'll try harder next time I see her!

    It does sound like the OP is lacking a bit of self confidence - and is maybe too shy (cos being shy is what stopped me when I was younger - I was invisible because of it)

    79

    Took me long to realize it. At first I never approached, because I was afraid of failure, but meanwhile I became so blunt and numb I don't really am afraid of being turned down, heck at times I'm so full of myself I honestly think, 'well, tough luck for missing out, hun.', and that's the attitude every fortune cookie tells you:

    "Live life as if it was your last day." or some crap, and that's not even big strategy, that's just the basis everything works on. If you don't roll the dice, you'll never move the pawn of the game, to put it a bit more artsy.

    /eta: kermint reminded me of another fortune cookie saying, "If you are not satisfied what you've got, you won't be satisfied with what you get."
    Whoooo, go me go me, second hand philosopher.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have to agree with Kermit - just because you have a good degree and alot of money doesn't = girlfriend. Ok, there are shallow girls out there but that's exactly what you don't want. There's a huge difference between grinding in a club and wanting a relationship - the reason is probably because low self esteem is a huge no go, sorry to sound mean but no one wants someone with lots of baggage.
    Best thing you can do is work on yourself somehow - i'm sure people can suggest more places than me. Get your head sorted and then i think you'll be surprised. I know it's not that black and white but how you percieve yourself shows very easily and says alot about you. If you think you're an ugly munter that girls run a mile from, then that's what they're going to think. You can't just buy a partner.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote: »
    I have to agree with Kermit - just because you have a good degree and alot of money doesn't = girlfriend.

    I didnt think the OP was equating a good degree and money with having a girlfriend. I thought he was trying to say he has been sucessful in other areas of his life but cant understand why not in his personal life. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You'll realize sooner enough, love is blind. It'll come along as it does out of no-where!

    Chin up buddy, we've all been there. Its different for everyone. I mean, your only 23! Live the dream! Be thankfull you havent had your heart ripped out over an over again :) From what i've read, I dont think youd cope well with a breakup either! Give yourself sometime an let it come naturally, it feels so much better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Jomery, I just read you thread, it felt like I was reading my life.

    I live in London, I’m 23 , female and a virgin only my closet mates know. I went to a really good Uni. but finding it difficult to get a job in the sector I desire. I was 21 when I had my first kiss so since then I have kissed a grand total of 3 guys, but have had 0 boyfriends

    I cant take it when people say ‘oh I cant believe your single, oh your so cool, you would make a great gf', some rude people say: ‘oh I cant image you with a guy‘, at Uni they didn’t know I was a virgin they would say, ‘so don’t you miss sex -sure you don’t have a guy hidden somewhere’..

    Wanna add more but this is your thread so I’ll try to hold back

    I just wanna say your not alone. Reading some of the threads like hornet983 posted really helped me out these couple of weeks. I just wish I had found this site a month or even few years ago cos the people on here sound really cool they give great advice and not just get the mundane ones your mates or parents give you. Its real honest answers sometimes hard to read but there right!

    I hope reading everyone’s reply, will boost your confidence somewhat cos I believe that’s the key to all this. If we feel good about ourselves regardless of what we look like we radiant that to others and that’s what makes use attractive. Thing about it. When you see a women down the street who looks comfortable in her own skin, don’t you look twice at her but when you see another walking head bowed down you don’t tend to notice or if you do its not the kind of person you want to be around.

    Think POSITIVE don’t think negative cos that’s when things seem to go wrong with me. The more positive you get the more people will notice, trust me cos I’m living it! as soon as you think positive your behaviour changes for the better and people well relate:yes:

    Also please active not just going out to clubs all the time but go get come fresh air walk down the park go to a gallery, anything! It might sound weird but do things you don’t normal do (don’t think I’m hunting for a girl cos you only find someone when/where you least expect it, yes it’s a cliché but true. New environments prodvides new people and opportunities.

    I hope you stay a member of this site so we can see your progress and visa versa DON’T DESPAIR! when you go for lunch tomorrow go to a café you never been to before strike up a conversation with someone. It doesn’t have to lead into anything (if she blanks you, who gives a shit, the next one wont) just build your confidence with the opposite sex. So the next time you do see a girl who gives you the urge to chat too you well feel natural and loads more confident. You wont seem stalkerish or desperate (or worst still chicken-out!), just a cute guy who likes to chat;)
    GOOD LUCK!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You two should hook up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My thought exactly :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote: »
    You two should hook up.

    :lol: I soooo thought the same...
    We are all giving our best advice, when the solution comes in a whole different form :p

    pm each other, NOW!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote: »
    Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about, it's something you should be proud of. I know i would be. To me an older guy who's a virgin earns more of my respect than one who isn't.
    If they've waited until marriage for religious/personal reasons then fair enough that earns respect, but I would happily fuck most girls age 16-30, I'm not that fussy really, and haven't even been able to kiss one, that's pretty pathetic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote: »
    Perhaps the location of where you are looking for isn't actually an environment that suits the manner in which you present (sell) yourself. A drunken night down at the club trying to meet a girl isn't quite the same as meeting one at, say, a club that allows you to share mutual interests.
    Whether I meet people through clubbing, house parties, mutual friends or online dating sites, exactly the same thing happens - they all really like me but not in the way I'd want them to, no matter what I try.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blah wrote: »
    You've already contradicted yourself in your first post, by stating that you have taken girls out on dates, that you have "grinded" with girls in clubs.

    If you were completely unfanciable, as it states in the title of this thread, then these two things wouldnt have happened.
    I'm always dirty-dancing with female friends when I go out. They don't fancy me, many have explicitly told me they don't find me remotely fanciable even though they "love me to bits as a friend", so that's the furthest I can go with them. Similarly I don't have a problem asking girls out on 'dates', eg those I meet at clubs, but it never goes further than that, never pulled one, they all want to go down the friendship route, and once again there's me being a complete chump wasting time with someone I'm not gonna get a pull or shag out of. :banghead:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It wouldnt be the first time thesite has united two 'lost souls' either, so to speak. Have to say, noangel talks a lot of sense. It does knock your confidence when it feels like nobody is really interested. You know another thing, although this may be a bit 'hmm', sometimes if a girl likes you she will say you're cute and why can't they have a boyfriend like you 'but you know you're such a good mate I'd rather have you that way' it's just a way of covering themselves so they don't admit they fancy you.

    There's a bit thing about admitting you fancy someone else :confused: everyone seems ashamed to do it. I remember when I admitted to this girls face, and her friends laughed like it was something I should be ashamed about. But surely they're insulting her friend, implying that nobody would fancy her at all?

    Just take it easy, concentrate on being happy and chilled, and having a good time with other people and getting to know them - not scoping out potential partners, because for some reason it never works like that. You'll try pulling for 2 years, get fed up and be sitting at a bus stop on your own and the love of your life will sit down next to you :yes:.

    To be honest, at sixth form, I think I was one of two in my whole friendship circle who wasn't a virgin. Since then, I think one more of my friends has since had sex, although she just complained nobody ever told her it was going to hurt so much. But, well over 50% *thinks*... around 7 out of 11 are virgins still, it gets them down too, but once you've had sex, although you will enjoy it, you'll wonder why everyone always made such a big deal out of it, like life is incomplete without it.

    Take care,
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    Well, there is just one imaginable problem for me:
    You are too shy. You never start convo and if you do, you do not give the other gal the impression you dig her. You never flirt, you do not strike attraction, because probably nobody even notices you. And if they do, they do not know how or why they should approach you, because you are just too infathomable. Most girls I cam across do not approach whatsoever...
    Couldn't be further from the truth. I'm not shy at all, I'm very outgoing and confident, in fact I've been featured by a famous magazine for being a hardcore socialite. I always initiate conversations with girls when I meet them, many seem really interested, ask for my number or are happy to give me theirs / email, add me on Facebook, send me lots of msgs etc but it seems from the offset all they wanted was friendship. Even though I can be very flirty and make it quite clear I like them, it's out of the question.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I've fooled around, had friends with advantages, four boyfriends and at one point I was even seeing a woman (which imo feels so much more intense). I'm 23 and never had a long term relationship, I've pulled guys and girls in clubs but to be honest, whilst it can feel like an achievement it can also feel empty. I've seldom enjoyed a pull.

    There's nothing wrong with being 23 and a virgin, I'd date a 23 year old virgin, I'd date a 28 year old virgin if we connected.

    I don't think it's pathetic having never kissed a woman at 23. It's unusual, but far from pathetic. I don't know you pesonally, bu it is in all likelihood, a matter of your body language. If you send out the right signals, then you can get somebody in to bed a lot easier.

    I have dyspraxia, but somebody who was my friend (at the time) helped me learn and display body language. Depressingly enough, I found Trisha and her body language experts to help too. Body language doesn't come naturally to me, I observe it and perform it more mechanically, if that makes sense. For example, I'll watch the amount of eye contact, the body position and grooming. I'm still learning though!

    Maybe reading up on body language can help. maybe you could also go out in different places? You're 23... Maybe an over 21's bar would be better as people will (hopefully) be maturer. Ooooor speed dating!
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