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Sex on the brain
Pearly
Posts: 345 The Mix Regular
Hey guys and gals,
Nice juicy topic for you as I research for an article (so bear in mind that I may steal your quotes if you post on this - I generally make up names anyway, so don't worry you won't be named and shamed).
So are you always thinking about sex? Are you addicted to sex, or the idea of having sex? Do you think that there is too much pressure on young people to be having sex?
What are the benefits to not having sex or trying to focus away from it for a while?
What's so good about sex anyway?!
Any thoughts or discussions would be really interesting to hear...
Thanks
Nice juicy topic for you as I research for an article (so bear in mind that I may steal your quotes if you post on this - I generally make up names anyway, so don't worry you won't be named and shamed).
So are you always thinking about sex? Are you addicted to sex, or the idea of having sex? Do you think that there is too much pressure on young people to be having sex?
What are the benefits to not having sex or trying to focus away from it for a while?
What's so good about sex anyway?!
Any thoughts or discussions would be really interesting to hear...
Thanks
0
Comments
In short no. Sex Education is so so broad, contraception and advice is so readily avaliable and there is an emphasis put on abstinance so that people know where to turn if they need to. Unless the person feels pressured by a partner of friends (which really is caused by themselves) then there is no "outside" pressure to have sex. People stand up and proudly say I am a virgin and if you dont like it then tough shit. There are good (still some bad) role models. There is widely known support for young people who feel pressured into having sex by friends of boyfriend and lots of wise people to talk to.
Babble Babble Babble
Ok, i hope this helps;
1) For me, it depends on the person im with at the time, and the stage of the relationship! ive always found that as a relationship develops, the amount of sex you want/have settles down! Im not addicted to having sex, but recently seem to be thinking about it alot more than normal (but saying that, i have only just started seeing the guy im with)
2) Every thing ashlee said
3) It broadens the relationship and allows other areas to take priority.....i.e. trust, learning about a person, having a laugh together, working through problems. Sex, for me, is a very important part of any relationship, But it definately isnt the be all and end all of it!
4) Sex is good in the obvious ways.....feelings and thoughts behind it, but if you're with a person you truely care about it becomes about love, trust+feeling good and comfy with another person!
L+C
I can relate to you so much!
I would say there is too much of an empthises on sex these days, I think there is a pressure and a complacency about it.
saying that i dont think sex is wrong or bad. Not in itself unless you count humans shagging animals or kids. Even then I think that its more a pyschological condition rather then sex in itself, though obviously doing both those things is wrong legally and many would say morally etc.
I do have sex on my brain lol. Not always but sometimes, you just get horny and its all you can think about.
Also, you can't control it either! I been sat at work bored out of my head and started thing about sex.
I disagree. I think there's quite a lot of peer-pressure and expectancy that you should lose your virginity by a certain age or you're seen as a bit weird. I'm a virgin actually, I'm 19 and I don't like telling people that (but thanks, cos you've made me feel it's OK to). It's not cos I don't want sex, it's because I personally haven't met the right person, and I'm not interested in losing my virginity to some random. I actually think about sex a lot despite that anyway, to answer the other question. :hyper:
Personally I feel like you get judged if you admit to being a virgin because people assume
A)you mustn't be interested in sex
C) you have no sexual experience.
And it's often not true. :banghead: I can feel a rant coming on.
pretty much. but I think that's fairly normal for a guy. being in a relationship for 4 years (that I've just come out of) I didn't find my sex drive decreased, even after 4 years. my partners did though, so that was a bit frustrating at times.
Do you think that there is too much pressure on young people to be having sex?
I don't know... there's plenty of information out there on safe sex, sex ed is pretty good these days (despite being very basic). Although like Lu_C said, the media is responsible for a lot of young peoples attitudes towards sex, with these "teen" magazines and things.
What are the benefits to not having sex or trying to focus away from it for a while?
:chin: well I suppose if you'd just met someone new it would perhaps help you to get to know them better, spending time with them doing other things. sex in a relationship is important though, but like someone already said, it's not the most important thing. it's still very good for emotional bonding and nice things like that.
What's so good about sex anyway?!
that was a rhetorical question, right?
actually I agree with this and the example of the Skins programme is very apt.
thats what i said on the Skins thread in entertainment.
not only is it this programme, its practically every teen programme and magazine and film.
it reinforces that behaviour.
the 'cool guy' cheats on his gf. So basically, the hero is the guy the gets the girl and the luck but does bad things. It reinforces that attitude of thats how to be and treat women and its wrong.
There is enough of a booz and bang culture out there without adding to it.
In fact I'm texting my fuck buddy in between writing this to try and suss out whether I want to end it or not (unreliable as fuck)
Yes i'm always thinking about sex! and I am addicted.
There is always a certain amount of pressure on young people to have sex, but, It's all down to the individual to when they choose to do it.
What's good about sex? Everything! Even the bad bits are good.
I don't think there's much, if any benefit from not having sex for a while. Though maybe I'm just impatient. :hyper:
Now fuck me slutbags. :flirt:
And you're such a lovely mannered young gentleman when you say hello to me at the bar! lol
Hehe..I'm a big softie at heart.
I think about sex quite a lot. I know it gets bad when I'm doing something really mundane at work and I'll get completely distracted by a flashback of something sexual in the previous night/s and find myself standing still, sighing and biting my lip at the memory! Or if I've had a partner for a while, who I'm still really attracted to I think of saucy scenario's that'd tickle their fancy when I'm bored. Oh dear.
2) Do you think that there is too much pressure on young people to be having sex?
I think that's difficult to call as it depends whose surrounding you, making an impression on you. I lost my virginity at 15 and never felt under pressure to do so. Prior to then I had a pushy bf who wanted sex and I didn't ever feel obligated to give it to him and gave an outright no. With my 'first' it was such a comfortable, longterm situation it felt more natural and the people around me were mainly in longterm situations too and in the same sort of places so it never really made me feel pressured. I suppose for someone where sex was made a big deal of, that if you're with someone you're mates make a joke of you holding out or make you feel is the be all and end of, a benchmark that you're failing to reach then I can imagine it being pretty tough.
3) What are the benefits to not having sex or trying to focus away from it for a while?
I think, considering myself, I do tend to attach a lot of sentiment to sex as I'm used to longterm relationships. A break from sex usually means the end of a relationship so the break helps me regain confidence. Going out, dressing up and feeling people are attracted to me but I don't go all the way or give them what they want makes me feel more attractive when I'm feeling rotten, and in control and independant. I also don't wake up having made a mistake and regretting taking home last nights pull, and again, saying I do attach some sentiment especially if it's someone I know, or I see often, then I don't feel used or even more down on myself.
4) What's so good about sex anyway?!
You can have such a range of experiences. You can have slow, sensual sex - lots of foreplay and general appreciation of every ounce of the person you're with. Then you could have quick and passionate sex where you have to be taken then and there in the heat of the moment. It can be fun, serious, passionate, horny. Ah...sex...
Yes, I fully agree. Losing your virginity with someone random loses the integrity and meaning of sex. I believe the first time should be the most special, even if you do flummox everyone and drop the condom in the toilet, or get really nervous and shave your entire body.
To answer the original post: I don't think about sex that often, I usually think more about relationships. I try not to think of either because I don't really like to "dwell" on things I don't have and eventually feel like shit.
has he though? does it always?
and when the guy gets a all the good looking girls he wants and admiration of many, who is gonna stick around to see the comeuppance and not just go for bad ways?
Love that, very profound, but true!
And don't forget - if you are spending all your time thinking about sex you can always join in our sexpert chat tonight
Nicely promoted there Jim, I like it
I'm not disagreeing with what you're saying, but where fiction is concerned, the bad guy normally always gets what he deserves.
In 'real life', a fair number guys seem to take the view that girls like the whole 'bad boy' thing anyway, and I don't think that necessarily stems just from fiction.
ok so the bad guy gets his comedy comeuppance at the end. He still got popularity, girls and sex all the way through and to be fair in real life do we ever see that guy get his just desserts? I don't think so.
Your right its not just fiction, a number of girls say they like the bad boy thing so its down to them aswell.
I do think about sex quite a lot when i have a boyfriend but when im single i rarely think about it
do like sex a lot but i wouldnt say that i was addicted to it
I do think that there is a lot of pressure of young people to have sex but i never felt pressured i think its up to the individual whether they give up to pressure or not