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When coming out goes wrong
Pearly
Posts: 345 The Mix Regular
How can you cope if you've come out and it's not exactly gone down well with friends, family or colleagues?
Have any of you had any experiences of this and things didn't go to plan, or you were pleasantly surprised by people's reactions?
When coming out goes wrong
Have any of you had any experiences of this and things didn't go to plan, or you were pleasantly surprised by people's reactions?
When coming out goes wrong
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Comments
I have however told most of my friends. My best mate came out to me, then i came out to her! So that was easy.. I took ages over telling an old school friend though, i was so worried she wouldn't accept me. She gave me a hug and said it's ok, you're still Emma, you're still my friend. It was such a relief! My other mates were very casual about it, one suprised me by congratulating me! lol
I'm straight as a gate but I'm very luckily I have a family who couldn't give a rat's are whom I fancy as long as I'm happy.
And talia: What a hypocrite your mum is!
I've had mixed reactions really. I kept it hidden from my Mum until I was 22, but then I met somebody, there was chemistry and... Well, I realised that I wasn't confused and that my feelings were sincere. I don't cry often, but I did then because I was scared my Mum would hate me because I know she would like grandkids and my brother's gay. It has been very frightening for me as I've had mixed reactions from people, but my Mum is one of the most sincere and accepting people you could ever meet.
As for my Dad, I wouldn't tell him because I don't think he would take it well. He was fine with my brother, but doesn't have what I'd call a healthy attitude towards women, judging by the way he treated my Mother. I'm his last call for having grandchildren as well and he's a churchgoer... The fact is that I feel he'd be disappointed that his daughter isn't ever going to be an incubator. I feel that also, it would bring shame upon the family as my Dad's side are mostly very religious. Oh yeah... And it's none of his business anyway!
Friends... Well I've actually found the gay scene the most intolerent. You know? Excuse me for ever having had relationships with men, I'm sure that means that I'm confused, unfashionable and unable to stay faithful. Of course, even if I were accepted in to the ghettoised lesbian community, I'd soon enough wreck relationships and go running back to men, right? :rolleyes:
My home town is quite homophobic, so I'm very quiet, but most my mates have been accepting. One did turn around to me and ask "so, have you decided whether you want to be with men or women yet?" I mean screw that attitude, I'm a person and I'll be with whoever I want.
To steal a quote... "I go for the heart, not the anatomy".
Im guessing they alredy used seperate bath towels, but they made him use a different hand towel. Normally people have one hand towel in the bathroom.
What a load of rubbish.
There's a set of twins I know who are lesbians. Their sister (who is about 1-2 years older) basically said that she's alright with gay people but not with lesbians. Please excuse my ignorance here, but what exactly is the difference?
Lesbian twins? There are two lesbian twins wh play music.
This is them (Piccolo, I reckon you'll like 'em)!
Maybe it's genetic.
As for the sister... Maybe she's not comfortable with her own sexuality? I know guys who are cool with lesbians (you know, probably the ones that are found on the to shelf of an offlicense), but aren't comfortable with gay men. I think it's about boundaries, about curiousity and about education.
You can be friends with a gay person of the same sex and they don't have to fancy you.
You also can't contract "gay" by brushing against a homosexual. If they breath on you however...
Tegan and Sara
i dont have anything to say about the thread like. just wanted to express my love for them. !
12 hours?
What from the moment you first realised, or did it take 12 hours for the message to sink in... I'm really confused by this comment
We were both fine about it...
Then he had to tell his mum who has been very homophobic all her life.
We went with him to visit her for moral support... we were all ready to make a dash for it incase she chucked us out the house... But when he told her the first thing she did was start crying and said something like 'oh my god, I must have hurt you so much all this time by being so homophobic' and they had a big cuddle.
She's not found it easy, but shes come to terms with having a gay son gradually and I really respect her for how she dealt with it and accepted him for who he really is instead of turning her back on him, because she so easily could have.
And, to lower the tone again, I Tegan and Sara, too. I discovered them when I was staying with Dad in Australia, it made me very happy!
Ahhh, from the moment you decided to tell her, it took 12 hours. That makes more sense...
You really have my sympathy. It angers me that you should feel that you can't just say something because of how people react. Too many small minded tossers out there...
That made me go 'aww' inside .
At least she didn't say how queer.
Hehe It is awkward when people try and set you up with 'nice young men' or mention thigs such as marriage, which I am totally against in general anyway.
Thanks. I believe he does.