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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hyper person... i really hope you are ok. times like this are hard to get through but you can do it. please talk to someone you trust when you feel like cutting, let someone distract you. you don't even have to tell them why you called.

    come back and let us know how you are.

    take care x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i just want to harm. i just want to die

    Have you had a look at the distraction list on recoveryourlife.com yet?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg hi- thanks for the concern-theres noone i feel i can talk to at the moment-ive put too much on my mate(the only one i feel able to talk to about this)already. I cant do it too her anymore-she and everyone else would be so much better off if i wasnt here.

    sofie-yeah ive looked at it and tried a few things but the self harm is a much bigger distraction in itself

    sorry
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No need to apologise. I guess I'm the same as you when it comes to self harm & disgractions. None of them ever work for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know im letting people down though if i harm and that just makes it harder and makes me want to harm more-how long you been harming if you dont mind me asking?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been harming on & off for about 3 months. I actually started 5 years ago but managed to stop after a few months. (with no help at all)

    How long have you been self harming for?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nearly 4yrs almost-managed to stop for bout 6 months but yeah started again
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    6 months is an amazing achievement, I'm up to my third without harming :) A good distraction if you want the pain element- try waxing... did this last night, and Oh My God... I was nearly crying lol.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well done your-babe! Doesn't crushing ice cubes have a similar effect? (as in the pain thing)

    Currently, I have a tubigrip on (still) because I still ctaching my scars on my jumper. Thsi is making my arm itch. Will the antiseptic cream help with the itching or not? (don't have ny cream yet, just curious)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote: »
    Well done your-babe! Doesn't crushing ice cubes have a similar effect? (as in the pain thing)

    Currently, I have a tubigrip on (still) because I still ctaching my scars on my jumper. Thsi is making my arm itch. Will the antiseptic cream help with the itching or not? (don't have ny cream yet, just curious)

    Thankyou! Yes, ice cubes has a similar effect :)

    No idea about the antiseptic cream, sorry. :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can't do this anymore.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote: »
    Can't do this anymore.

    *hugs* Yes you can Kirst. Its okay to have a bad day. x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hugs* Yes you can Kirst. Its okay to have a bad day. x

    I found out some extremly bad things today, had my Mum crying on my shoulder about it, then had to help my brother with his English work, and struggle with my media coursework- due in on Thurs, another 1500 words to go. Nothing seems worth it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote: »
    I found out some extremly bad things today, had my Mum crying on my shoulder about it, then had to help my brother with his English work, and struggle with my media coursework- due in on Thurs, another 1500 words to go. Nothing seems worth it.

    It doesn't when you have a bad day. However it is just a day. Any chance of extension on the coursework if your struggling?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He already has though, by a week :( He wants it tomorrow to mark over half term y'see. May speak to my tutor tomorrow about it. Cheers Marie.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Really can't cope anymore.:(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    keep going your babe. its worse if youve stopped and then you start again plus it seems to become more secretive cos you dont tell anyone who might previously of known as you dont want them to be disappointed that youve started again and dont want to feel youve let them down. seeing the disappointed faces and the comments of "why?" again is something i really hate cos its so difficult to explain.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    keep going your babe. its worse if youve stopped and then you start again plus it seems to become more secretive cos you dont tell anyone who might previously of known as you dont want them to be disappointed that youve started again and dont want to feel youve let them down. seeing the disappointed faces and the comments of "why?" again is something i really hate cos its so difficult to explain.

    So know what you mean, the disappointed looks and awkward questions are terrible, I hate it. Hope you're having a better day today by the way xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i went and stood on top a building yesterday and thought it would be just so easy to jump off here-everything would be over and everyone could get on with their lives without me bothering them anymore but i couldnt do it-how stupid is that-i think i might just harm and start the whole stopping thing again-just need something to help me cope-the misunderstanding ill just have to deal with later-hows everyone else?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know what you mean, I hate that too. I didn't harm in the end though. Hugs Hyper person.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why can't I stop self harming? I did it last night. I ended up with what looked like razor rash, which hurts alot more.:(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *sighs heavily*

    I'm a funny, talented, clever, charming, and generally awesome person.

    Except that I can't or won't accept and believe that.

    I have now managed to convince myself that I'm not good enough for anyone and never will be. And that all attempts to further my career are doomed to failure.

    Fun times on Walton Mountain
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont say that Infinite. your a top bloke. your just having a down day. I get those alot. sorry you feel crap at the moment but you will feel better. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Infinite, its fine to have bad days/periods. You are a great guy, plently of people on here think that. I know how it feels to have your self confindence that low you dont feel you can amount to anything. As Johnny says you will feel better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys.

    The problem is that I feel like this 90% of the time. I just hide it very well. Hiding behind the sarcastic, caustic, and cynical me is all I ever seem to do.

    Whenever I drop the act and admit to feeling like this, it all goes horribly wrong. I should just stop getting close to people. I'm just rambling now...

    Tears of the clown, eh?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yup bad days r part of the process-bad day 2day-harmed-sucks but hey ho feel a tad better if not a bit guilty-every1 else ok?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know exactley how you feel. I hide my real feelings so much its stupid. I've nearly given up on letting anyone get close to me again.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry to hear that Infinite.

    I sort of understand how you feel, you have negative feelings but you make yourself feel happy for a while to cover it up. then when you let your guard down, it comes back. I do that sometimes as well.

    shutting yourself off does you no good. That just makes you even more upset and can make you extremely bitter. Your an alright guy, I've never seen a negative comment from you once since I've been here. Don't be so hard on yourself dude. Trust me, its only a rough patch, you don't mean all that stuff.

    That being said, Im too trusting, but im more cautious about some people than others.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'll be fine. I always am.

    I'd just like a way to get this horrible insecurity and attention seeking out of my system. It ruins everything. (It also pains me massively that I appear to be thesite's equivalent of Chandler from friends...)

    I should see a councilor but I don't have the money for a private one and I have no idea if 'insecurity' is covered by the NHS.

    I'm also hugely racked with guilt that I'm even insecure at all. I know I shouldn't be and that I have a awful fucking lot going for me but...

    I shouldn't need people constantly telling me that I'm a great person.
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