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Feeling a gooesberry

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Guys,

Would you feel a gooesberry if you were living with a mate, who then started seeing a girl and moved her in?

I really want them to be happy, but i kind of feel in the way now. It could be a good time to move on, but my mate wants me to stay?

Would you feel in the way?

Moving out would mean moving home with my parents (not very good) but the world moves on doesnt it ??

Any thoughts :thumb:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would personally feel in the way. But then you don't have to be around them 24/7 do you? Can't you find other things to do when they're together?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a tough one, but it all depends on how strongly you feel about what's going on.

    Did your mate ask you before inviting his/her girlfriend to move in? It sounds as if not, and if that's the case then it might be worth sitting them down and having a chat about it. Bit cheeky to introduce a new housemate without asking, especially if it puts you in an uncomfortable position.

    I don't think there's any need to move out simply based on the fact that you're living with a couple. It may just be that you need to establish some groundrules with your mate to make sure that you're not constantly feeling like a spare part (no nookie in the kitchen is a good one to lay down from the start, I've found). If they're a sickly couply-couple then it may all just get too much and moving out might be an option.

    However, your friend may well want you to stay to reduce the pressure on the relationship - living with a partner and a good friend is a very different situation to living with a partner on your own.

    For the moment I'd say stick it out for a while. Talk to your mate, explain how you're feeling, and see what the two or three of you can come up with together. If it all gets too much a month or two down the line, then reconsider your options. But if you're enjoying living where you are and moving home doesn't appeal, then I wouldn't jump into anything too quickly.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have a word with your mate and tell him you feel uncomfortable. Its your home as well mate you shouldnt feel forced out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    icey wrote: »
    Have a word with your mate and tell him you feel uncomfortable. Its your home as well mate you shouldnt feel forced out.

    But its his house, he owns it. Guess he can do what you like when its your own home. Im just a tenant. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A tenant, but also a friend. He needs to take your feelings into consideration. Have you had a word with him at all?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you had a word with him at all?

    No, been trying to avoid talking about it (usual boy answer) We only really seem to speak via text now. I just try and keep out the way when he is home.

    :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why don't you get to know her as a friend?

    Then you can socialise together and go out. My boyfriend, his friend and I go out quite often to places together and as far as i know he never feels out of place.

    Getting to know her might make it feel less awkward, however i could be wrong.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote: »
    Why don't you get to know her as a friend?

    Then you can socialise together and go out. My boyfriend, his friend and I go out quite often to places together and as far as i know he never feels out of place.

    Getting to know her might make it feel less awkward, however i could be wrong.

    Im someone who would feel out of place in an empty room :D
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