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Could you guys look at this letter for me please?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hiya folks

Basically I've had a few problems with my old landlord. He's kept my deposit for no real reason (be a bitch to get it back so I'm not THAT concerned about it) but now he's trying to charge me for additional stuff and I'm not having that.

Spent all morning skiving from work and doing this letter, so could you maybe have a look (I attached it) and give me constructive criticism on it? I've sort of put everything into it, so ways to make it more concise would be good, or different ways to word things.

Cheers folks :thumb:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In the first proper paragraph seeked should be sought.

    I think it's good :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In the same way, you should have made and effort to inform me that the bin has been damaged.

    made AN effort.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    looks ok, good luck.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're way too nice about this.

    80.00 for replacement keys?! WHIIIIIIIIT. It costs a fiver in partick to get them changed.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It looks rather unprofessional and a bit wussy, truth be told.

    Dear Sir,

    Thank you for your letter dated x of x, the contents of which I note.

    I have sought legal advice regarding this matter, and confirm that I will not be forwarding payment to you at this stage.

    The deposit of £330.00 has been retained by yourself, and to date you have not provided full itemised receipts for the work you claim to have undertaken. You also have not provided details as to the exact nature of the damage, and you did not provide details prior to me leaving the property.

    I note that you are claiming for further damage to the floorboards in the kitchen, due to a defective bin. At no stage could I have been expected to notice the claimed damage, and to date you have not provided a full itemised receipt showing the full cost of this damage. In any event I believe that damage to floorboards in a kitchen due to water is reasonable wear and tear.

    I would also remind you that you did not provide the statutory notice for me to vacate the property, as per s33 Housing Act (Scotland). In addition to this I note that you have so far failed to forward the pro-rata refund of the television licence, which I paid in full to you in October 2006. I look forward to receiving the same in due course.

    I would also remind you of your prolonged failure to provide full receipts for work undertaken, including an £80 fee for changing the locks. Please kindly provide the same as soon as possible.

    If you have any questions about this matter please do not hesitate to contact me. I trust that this resolves the matter satisfactorily, however I will take further legal advice should this not be acceptable.

    Yours faithfully,
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dear Wankstain,

    Go fuck yaself.

    Bri.

    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    Yours faithfully,

    Sincerely, since he knows him. :razz:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :razz:

    I always write Dear Sir, Yours Faithfully as I'm normally writing letters to a solicitor. I've got it on the brain.

    Dear Cunt, Fuck Off :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    Dear Cunt, Fuck Off

    He should just write that, really. :razz:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1983 wrote: »
    Sincerely, since he knows him. :razz:

    Unfortunately so.

    Cheers folks, like I said I just sort of chucked it all in and hoped somebody like Kermy would come and sift through the mess ;)

    Only other thing - he could just send me invoices for replacement laminate flooring, headboard etc, he'd have to show that it NEEDED replaced? Would he just be able to get that from the joiner/whoever too? Or in other words, he'd have to prove that it was just more than wear and tear, yeah?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd be expecting him to show pictures showing the damage too, tbh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought it sounded good, you've obviously done your research on the legal matters. The only thing that i've picked up on is this:
    The night before you l moved out of the flat, you stated that I’d better be there the following afternoon, and that you had my family details and you’d “pay them a visit” if I wasn’t there the next day.
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    I, personally, agree with Kermit on this one. His letter is more formal and to the point. And more likely to get a response.

    However, if you go with yours, I wouldn't put 'Dear Alan' but 'Dear Mr xyz.' Also, don't use 'don't' but use 'do not', same with any others, eg won't, couldn't etc etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also, don't use 'don't' but use 'do not', same with any others, eg won't, couldn't etc etc.

    How come?

    Sorry, curious :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    How come?

    Sorry, curious :p
    It's more formal and more professionsal looking.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't use abbreviations in formal letters, abbreviations are informal and, to be quite honest, it makes the writer look naive and childish.

    The only times I use abbreviations in the letters I write professionally are when I'm writing to a client who's a bit thick.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Force of habit.

    My job is basically to write letters and emails to customers and we’ve got to use “informal tone of voice” in our letters as we’re a “modern, forward thinking company” so we get extra marks for using informal and concise language, which translates to a better bonus pour moi :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bri-namite wrote: »
    so we get extra marks for using informal and concise language, which translates to a better bonus pour moi

    It's like a game show.

    'What do apostrophes make ? PRIZES' :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Customer services people assume everyone is thick;)
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    BunnieBunnie Posts: 6,099 Master Poster
    I would definately go with Kermit's letter. You did well though, but Mr Kermit sends letters to and on behalf of (?) solicitors, and believe me, after doing a writing exam (to learn how to write a letter to a solicitor or client) its hard.

    Re: the invoices. I would ask for photographic evidence, invoices from prospective joiners, floor fitters etc. And more than one.

    You also need to mention that unless you were the only person to have even lived there, then you are not liable to pay the full amount as previous tenants are just as much to blame.

    Good luck, just be much more forceful! That is your money, and he is not necessarily entitled to it. If you need me and my writing knowledge, you know where I am :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    It looks rather unprofessional and a bit wussy, truth be told.

    Nah, from the sounds of things the guy you are writing to won't be too concerned about the set up of the letter.

    Its fine. To the point with accurate references.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    deceelpool wrote: »
    Nah, from the sounds of things the guy you are writing to won't be too concerned about the set up of the letter.

    He will. Everyone does.

    Write a wussy and unprofessional letter and he'll think you're a wussy and unprofessional person- i.e. a pushover.

    There's a knack to writing letters to get the response you want. The OP isn't after a climbdown, he's after a "don't fuck with me" marker. And if you write a letter that's whiney and naive the other side will think that they can fuck with you.
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