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Total ho
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is just a general rant, about my hoishness.
This month i decided to go on a boy detox, no kissing in clubs or anything, so i could sort my head out.
So on monday drank 2 bottles of wine then went to a bar with some friends. This is totally not me, but i saw a guy i thought was cute, and just went up to him and kissed him. So we ended up back at his 20 mins later and surprise surprise had a lot of sex. I hadn't slept with a guy before but virginity never really bothered me cos i prefered girls anyways. Yep so the next day he was all snuggly and looking for a relationship. After that I left pretty sharpish and haven't called him since. Bad me.
So last night i was on a resolve, to have nothing to do with silly men, but ended up at a friend's party. My ohsolovely friend gave me a pill, which i took then introduced me to the hottest guy he could find
Yep so said friend concluded his bad influence by telling the hottie that i was gay, which went down a storm, obviously - the whole thing they want what they cant have.
Yep so about 5 minutes after we pulled, we left the party and went back to mine, and yes again i slept with him.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I used to be sensible! This sucks. (well ok its quite fun)
Rant over/
This month i decided to go on a boy detox, no kissing in clubs or anything, so i could sort my head out.
So on monday drank 2 bottles of wine then went to a bar with some friends. This is totally not me, but i saw a guy i thought was cute, and just went up to him and kissed him. So we ended up back at his 20 mins later and surprise surprise had a lot of sex. I hadn't slept with a guy before but virginity never really bothered me cos i prefered girls anyways. Yep so the next day he was all snuggly and looking for a relationship. After that I left pretty sharpish and haven't called him since. Bad me.
So last night i was on a resolve, to have nothing to do with silly men, but ended up at a friend's party. My ohsolovely friend gave me a pill, which i took then introduced me to the hottest guy he could find
Yep so said friend concluded his bad influence by telling the hottie that i was gay, which went down a storm, obviously - the whole thing they want what they cant have.Yep so about 5 minutes after we pulled, we left the party and went back to mine, and yes again i slept with him.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I used to be sensible! This sucks. (well ok its quite fun)
Rant over/
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Comments
Just always feel a bit shitty afterwards, probably cause it’s usually coupled with a hangover. I suppose there’s the element of too much too soon too, cause I’m used to old fashioned courting and all.
However, I'd be careful with taking randomers home. You never know who they are. I mean, I have lots of random sex but with people I already know. I mean, the last two guys I slept with (which have both been this year
Having random sex is fine. Just be careful, use protection and have fun
why did I never run into a girl like you back when i was teen lol.
But it is just good fun, its just i seem to be running over all my own principles. Bleh.
Oh and the first guy wasnt completely random, one of my friends knew him. Although i introduced myself... if you get what i mean. I mean bloody hell, i am not the kind of girl to just go up to a guy i like and kiss them without saying a word.
And the second guy was a good friend of my friend, so im not pulling complete randoms.
But still!!
your friends of friends are very lucky guys!!!!
Besides, I probably wouldn't be so prudish if I were actually able to do it..
To be honest though, I think thats enough onenightmanstands for me. Back to girls and my boy detox! :thumb:
As long as it's safe and nobody gets hurt, you're all good
Except guys like me who get a girlfriend like you to find out you've already shagged however many guys for absolutely no reason whatsoever except that "it was a bit of fun". It's really nice to know your girlfriend only took a few hours to get naked. It's nice to know your girlfriend has been seen naked and has involved herself in the most intimate of acts with other men. It's nice to know these men could have been tossers or guys that you really wouldn't like to see with your girlfriend. And it's nice to know that if your girlfriend can do this, relationships must obviously mean a lot to her and last for ever.
Sorry to be a prude or whatever, and I've heard all the "it was their life, they can do what they want before meeting you" and whatnot. It just seems to be an issue that is either not talked about or disregarded.
I don't consider myself to be an ugly person (that's the first thing I'd think when reading this) and yes, I've found myself in more than one situation where I have been invited home by the opposite sex, and gone home with two of them but refused to go further.
Perhaps (or certainly) I have issues with self esteem and confidence and what ever else. But, that's just my opinion.
Indeed. But a girl that isn't promiscuous is difficult to find nowadays.
I would agree that you do have issues when it comes to this. Their past should not 'hurt' you.
You have to take the view that a person's past is exactly that. It's not for you to comment on anybody or anything that your girlfriend has done before they're with you. If the people they were with WERE tossers/whatever, that has no bearing on the situation.
What exactly is wrong with 'a bit of fun' being reason enough to sleep with somebody?
I actually laughed at this line...
Look - the problem with this is certainly you. Many people can happily have casual sex, and yet when they are in a relationship are equally as happy being monogamous. It doesn't mean they can only be one or the other!
The best way to at least *try* to deal with it if it bothers you is just not bother asking her about the past.
I know the people I date I don't ask about what they've been up to prior to myself as I really don't care. If they ask me, I'll tell them, but I'm just not bothered what they've been up to.
Of course - some people fuck themselves up and carry their baggage onto the next person. If that were the case, then I would be slightly concerned, and issues would have to be dealt. But in general, people having some fun as they go along shouldn't have *any* bearing on you.
If the 1986 in your name indicates your year of birth - I would suggest that dealing with this will get easier as you get older.
I know that most people have a hangup on this when they're younger. I know I did a bit when I was 18-19 and I was reasonably inexperienced, then had a good think about it and realised how stupid thinking like that was.
However, in a relationship I would not behave in the same way. If I was seeing a guy I liked emotionally and mentally, I would not get naked within hours. I think that sex in a relationship is definitely more meaningful, and it would definitely be a big deal to me. Although to me, giving myself up to someone emotionally and mentally is a far bigger deal, and in someways more special than physically.
Also I would like to point out that I am a somewhat special case. I am only really physically attracted to men. Sex with them is just not a big important thing for me. I would definitely take sleeping with a woman a lot more seriously, and place an importance on developing an emotional attatchment with them before a physical one.
That's a shockingly offensive thing to say and also probably pretty inaccurate.
I dunno how representative I am, but out of my girl mates, I can't think of anyone who's really slept around. Most are in long term relationships and one mate who had a 3 week fling regretted jumping into bed with the guy when she did (i.e. before she realised that he was a bit of a controlling wierdo and so she then broke things off with him).
Please don't confuse this with sleeping around. It only took me a few hours to get naked with my boyfriend, yet it was about another 7 months before we had sex, he's the only person I've slept with and we've been together nearly 6 years!
Talia, don't overanalyse things. If you're having fun with it and the casualness is consensual then great, if you're tiring of it then take some time out. Don't spend so long naval gazing about whether what you're doing is 'sensible' or not, but if it's messing with your head have a break! And you're not a ho
So true. I know only one girl who has not slept with someone because they were charming and knew what to say to use her for sex, and I am dating her
Maybe I'm an exception but I'm 20 and in the 6 years since I lost my virginity I have slept with 2 long term bf's and one few month fling. I have never had a one night stand and I probably never will. I too value sex and don't want just anybody getting that close to me.
does this mean you're not getting any or that it's going to last forever?
Please don't feel the need to explain yourself to these judgemental pricks.
Saying that girls who aren't promiscuous are hard to find is a load of bull, to be honest. Obviously it depends on personal definitions of promiscuity, but I'd guess the majority of the females being labelled as such [and looked down on for it, which is dreadful] are just confident women who enjoy sex and refuse to be embarrassed and shamed into what - thankfully the minority of - men consider to be the "right" sexual practises for a young woman, and having (or feeling the need to lie about having) a modestly low number of previous partners.
Total backward, outdated shite - there's no place for judgements and attitudes like that these days. Shame on blokes who label girls as "promiscuous" as if it was a deadly, flesh-eating disease - I'll bet without actually knowing ANYTHING about their pasts, or their lifestyle, or having a scooby do in general. Then again, it's probably jealousy at not have the tools or opportunity to be promiscuous and enjoy a fulfilling sex life themselves. Ho hum.
And no one can judge someone on whether they had a one night stand or not. Just because you are not in love with someone when you sleep with them doesnt make it wrong. I dont understand why it is so looked down on to have fun in bed with someone you fancy - if its mutual what is the harm?
Then it's just good
in the relationship ssection there is a thread about a girl who 'sleeps around' and she is condomened on there but here a girl having sex with people she isn't in love with, just for fun is perfectly ok and woe betide anyone that says otherwise?
I aint saying one way or the other, just commentating on what I see.
I dont get the guys its a good thing and the girls its a bad thing either.
tho then again, I have heard from girls that they think disparingly of guys who haven't been with a a fair few girls so maybe its encouraged?
I dont think women are judged as sluts nowadays if they have a few guys, think its common place for teens to be hsgaging and girls to have plenty of partners b4 they ever settle down. Its in th emainstream media now and I reckon people who ahvent had a lot of sex are the ones that are looked down on.
Saying that its quite a coundry. I have no problems iwht sex and people having sex and don't belive in guilt tripping people who do have sex.
but then again I am unsure that maerrily shagging your way through lists of people in the guise of "fun" is right either. And that goes for guys and girls.
I mean I have had fun with people I wasn't in love with but I do kinda think when a girl who hasn't even reached her 2o's says she has been with over 10 guys or nearer 20. Same goes for guys. I have known a few guys that have reputations as getting with a lot of girls and they were actually knwon as sluts and even ribbed a bit for it, so I dont think its always girls that get judged, tho it is probably more girls then guys that do get judged.