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weird situation
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Presently I'm at college half way through completing an Access course in English Literature. My class/tutor group is quite select in size and is made up of people of varying ages. There is one man in my class who is about forty odd. For arguements sake let's call him WTF ARE YOU ON man. Anyway, WTF man in question seems quite grumpy yet to me he has always been friendly. I'm an EXTREMELY shy and quiet person, so much so speaking in class makes me go shaky with nerves. When I say something in class he actually asks me to repeat it again and he's just generally nice to me. I lent him a book of war poems for his English project in the past.
Just a normal class room relationship right? Anyway as I'm leaving class with my two friends who are talking he catches me up and we just chat about the course. Meanwhile my friend is walking off in the distance and WTF man is telling me how much he wants to read something I've written. Which yes admittedly seems a little odd but I don't automatically think he wants to make me his adolescent bride. Anyway my friend is still sauntering off in the distance so I call her name and tell WTF man I have to catch up with her for lunch and leave.
Now today at college after Maths (I have to repeat Maths..eurgh!)..I am walking out of the building with my friend who then leaves. I see WTF man so say Hey and ask him what he thought of Maths. He then goes into one 'Sometimes you make me feel uncomfortable, it's like you're scared of me. The other day you cut me off in conversation and ran off to meet your friend. I'm not trying to get my leg over! You're young enough to be my daughter and I'm old enough to be your dad for Christ's sake!'. Genuinely taken aback I say, 'I didn't mean to appear rude and I don't think anything like that! I was catching her up to eat lunch with her'. WTF man shaking his head 'Nah there's something more to it then that'. Still pretty shocked at this conversation 'There isn't'.
A car approaches in the car park so I make my exit. WTF man calling in the distance, 'Have I upset you now!?' So I reply 'No I am going to the loo'. (First thing I could think of..) So I make my escape to the library feeling pretty upset, annoyed and confused.
I don't mean to make a fuss and although yes I did think he was a bit strange showing such an interest in me I just assumed someone had blabbed about my dad dying and he wanted to act fatherly or whatever. Who knows. Any advice would be helpful. Truthfully, I am upset right now and anyone can say that I am making a fuss over nothing. Yet I've made no fuss. The only fuss is I'm hurt and confused and just feeling blargh. Thanks to anyone who reads this.
Just a normal class room relationship right? Anyway as I'm leaving class with my two friends who are talking he catches me up and we just chat about the course. Meanwhile my friend is walking off in the distance and WTF man is telling me how much he wants to read something I've written. Which yes admittedly seems a little odd but I don't automatically think he wants to make me his adolescent bride. Anyway my friend is still sauntering off in the distance so I call her name and tell WTF man I have to catch up with her for lunch and leave.
Now today at college after Maths (I have to repeat Maths..eurgh!)..I am walking out of the building with my friend who then leaves. I see WTF man so say Hey and ask him what he thought of Maths. He then goes into one 'Sometimes you make me feel uncomfortable, it's like you're scared of me. The other day you cut me off in conversation and ran off to meet your friend. I'm not trying to get my leg over! You're young enough to be my daughter and I'm old enough to be your dad for Christ's sake!'. Genuinely taken aback I say, 'I didn't mean to appear rude and I don't think anything like that! I was catching her up to eat lunch with her'. WTF man shaking his head 'Nah there's something more to it then that'. Still pretty shocked at this conversation 'There isn't'.
A car approaches in the car park so I make my exit. WTF man calling in the distance, 'Have I upset you now!?' So I reply 'No I am going to the loo'. (First thing I could think of..) So I make my escape to the library feeling pretty upset, annoyed and confused.
I don't mean to make a fuss and although yes I did think he was a bit strange showing such an interest in me I just assumed someone had blabbed about my dad dying and he wanted to act fatherly or whatever. Who knows. Any advice would be helpful. Truthfully, I am upset right now and anyone can say that I am making a fuss over nothing. Yet I've made no fuss. The only fuss is I'm hurt and confused and just feeling blargh. Thanks to anyone who reads this.
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Comments
I'm pretty much with pill'ed here, but you should know, I told ya my opinion on msn. Yeah, it might be a bit uncomfy, but you on the other hand you are 20 years old and I think you can handle a friendly middle aged man. He is not really acting suspicious imho and just want to be "in the cool gang" and show that he still has a fire in the stove
Just be friendly, it's not like he asked you out for a cup of coffee or invited you and if you can just say you are not really comfy with that.
Well, that doesn't sound so nice, but a "I can safely assure you that this is not the case." could've solved it.
I am not defending that guy here if he acts peculiar, but from what you told me, rach, it sounds like he's just trying to be a personable and polite collegue who 'tries to fit in' as well.
Don't be so shy and introverted rach I know you are a sly old dog, hun, the shyness is still something I can't imagine you having. If he appears to be a nutter, you can still let him know, but for the time being, why grieve if their is a simpler solution. I know you can do it
Yeah but they're probably ugly so he's not worried about people thinking things lol, or maybe he just doesn't get on with them as well?
Don't worry about it, he just sounds like a friendly man who's a bit nervous and paranoid about the whole paedophile thing, he may be slightly eccentric but harmless. If he does try anything then get him fucked over fast but I doubt you'll have any problems.
I have no idea what his intentions are and don't pretend to know them, but whatever they are he sounds like he's missing a bit of social skills tbh. Social skills should keep you tuned to the non-verbal language of others and therefore act accordingly. Another guy in his position would have realised he was making you uncomfortable and left you alone. While it's not his fault he may lack social skills it's not your duty to make him feel accepted either.
Decided to speak to my tutor about it on Thursday and see what she can advise.
If he says anything else, tell him that you are uncomfortable with the conversation and that you only ever assumed you would have a platonic relationship. If you feel that you need emotional support, try not to talk to him alone, have a friend with you.
I have to agree here. If he makes you feel a bit wierded out, then you dont have to be his friend.