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This is totally gay

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Is it Ok to say that?

For example, a girl I know who has moved to the states says the "fucking liberals" tell her off if she says it. I've also known a guy here to really hate it. This is because in the term it is used it means 'crap'.

What about the whole LGBT labelling?

For example... "Danni is a lesbian", "Freddy is a homosexual"... "Mark is a black"?

I mean it would seem almost derrogatory to call somebody "a black", or "this is my black friend Denzell" or to put his name in as "black Denzell" in your phone.

Also... If somebody is heterosexual they are called "straight" which is a word that implies they're honest, honourable or correct. The term "bisexual" and "transgender" are clinical... The term "gay" means happy.

I don't know if I'm quite using the words right to put my point accrossas I'm very hungover. But does anybody feel me here?

Is it wrong to call something you don't like "gay"?

Do people think labels for their sexuality are important?

Do they think that they should be changed?

Does the gay scene and the labelling that comes with it run the risk of ghettoising LGBT communities?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's really up to the individual on whether or not they take offence to crap things being labelled as "gay". I've always thought it strange though when heterosexual liberals are more upset by such terminology misuse than the actual gay community.

    Personally i don't use that phrase, i'm not offended by it, but it's not something i'd say out of context. I might say it though, for example if i saw a pink fluffy poodle- "That is so gay", but not in a derogatory way.

    At the end of the day they are just words and it's up to the individual whether those words are offensive or not. After all some offensive words such as "queer" and "puff" are taken on board by the gay community and used as a term of empowerment and pride, when used within the confines of that community. Just as some black people use the "n" word to describe themselves, yet if anyone outside of that race were to use it, it would be offensive.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tbh, I've not heard anyone older than about 15 using that term anyway.

    ETA: Whilst the majority of people don't say "a black" plenty of people have no problem saying "an asian" or "an afro-caribbean." Personally, I don't tend to refer to many groups as "a" but I'm sure I do do it on occasion. Why all the P.C. questions lately incidentally?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tbh, I've not heard anyone older than about 15 using that term anyway.

    ETA: Whilst the majority of people don't say "a black" plenty of people have no problem saying "an asian" or "an afro-caribbean." Personally, I don't tend to refer to many groups as "a" but I'm sure I do do it on occasion. Why all the P.C. questions lately incidentally?

    Just because people rattle on about it to me and it makes me think...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really hate people saying, "That is so gay" and I do think it's offensive. That said, some of my (gay) friends say it... Meh.

    Mind you, some of my friends call me "Les" (short for Kate the Lesbian) or just "Lesbian", which really annoys me when we're in public because it's frankly none of the Sainsbury's shop assistant's business that I'm gay!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote: »
    I really hate people saying, "That is so gay" and I do think it's offensive. That said, some of my (gay) friends say it... Meh.

    Mind you, some of my friends call me "Les" (short for Kate the Lesbian) or just "Lesbian", which really annoys me when we're in public because it's frankly none of the Sainsbury's shop assistant's business that I'm gay!
    I call my mate 'gayface', I mean affectionately... She is gay, but doesn't really look stereotypically gay. I wouldn't doit in Sainburys tho.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it really depends on the person. some of my friends use the word gay every other sentence, and dont care. others are more sensative to the term, and get upset when the word gay is used to describe anything besides a homosexual. (please excuse the artcicle "a". i couldnt find a way to make that sentence work)

    im a little in the middle with this one. i use "gay" in moderation, both the correct and derrogatory terms (happy, then homosexual). but when you look at it, the term is wrong because like you stated you cant go "hey look, its a black man". youll just get chewed up and spit out. so being called gay is more of a label, and really should be used a bit less. Concidering a have a few homosxual friends, i take a slight amount of offence to the word.

    in the eyes of the publis, this word isnt as offencive, because everyone goes "thats gay, this is gay, homework is gay, gay gay gay gay". but then, you have to think. by making "gay" a derrogatory, youre creating this homosexual group. if we eliminted the derrogatories for all kinds of people, theed be a bit more equality. the minute you put a word to something, it gets labeled.

    People are people, no matter what race or sexual orientation. using derrogatories for homosexuals is as equally as bad as for blacks, asians, hispanics, or anything. Try to use the word less and less, if not at all. not to mention, there are a hunder less offencive things to say about something that sucks. so calling it gay, its not quite right. be conciderate, and eliminate this word. unless, of course, used in the correct sense, meaning happy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This thread is like, totally gay.
















    :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really dislike it when people use the word "gay" to mean crap or rubbish.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why should homosexuals have a right to that word?

    When I call someone a cunt I'm not objectifying female genitalia. I call things I think crap gay all the time and I don't care what other people think.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yerascrote wrote: »
    Why should homosexuals have a right to that word?

    Because the context in which the word is used these days majoritively means homosexual.

    So it could be argued that you are mocking their struggle, or saying that to be like they are is crap.

    I mean nobody says "this is totally n*gger" do they
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm, but they do [at least 'round here] talk about giving someone a "black look", which could be taken badly by a black person but in my experience never is.

    I only use gay to describe homosexuals eg. "Michael is gay", or something that is traditionally "gay" like a frolicking lamb. That's old-school ;) :thumb: I always cringe when I hear kids and teenagers using gay in the sense this thread is talking about, but I don't really find it offensive, just a bit crass and indicative of a fairly limited vocabulary in some cases.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I mean nobody says "this is totally n*gger" do they

    They do in my native language, those bastards.

    I've always been mocking a classmate because everyone thinks he's gay (even if he has a girlfriend, strangely enough) and all that - it's not derogatory, we both laugh at it. It's nothing more than a bit of fun. Flipside, I would be a bit embarrased and wouldn't really appreciate such comments... what a hypocrite I am.

    I think it's derogatory to homosexuals if it is used seriously, which I never do. It's when you use it as an insult, like: "sod off ya fucking fag" or something similar.

    I have doubted a few times before saying something is "gay", because i think it's wrong to use that word, regardless of the sentence. I think it's all how you interpret it - a homosexual sure wouldn't feel good if someone said: "how fucking gay" to something which they don't particularly like. But you can't really change the culture now. We've become so segregated that there's no hope for a solution to all these problems. We are changing but similar youth culture and, incidentally, extremism, never does. Is such a sad truth. :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    only real problem I have with it is that people who use that term tend to be irritating 13 years olds.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    only real problem I have with it is that people who use that term tend to be irritating 13 years olds.

    Or 30somethings shouting at you from their car, calling you a 'lesbian' after having their elloquently put advances rejected :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I tend to just use it to either mean homosexual, or something thats very camp or rainbow striped :thumb:

    I do hate hearing it used to mean something is crap though. It does tend to just be 15 year olds that say it to mean that though, and they stop doing it after a beating or two.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go_away wrote: »
    Or 30somethings shouting at you from their car, calling you a 'lesbian' after having their elloquently put advances rejected :rolleyes:

    nothing like the heart stopping charm of sexually frustrated drunks
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I used to say it when I was a teenager, had no relation to homosexuality when I or my friends used it. It was just a word everyone picked up, because 'shit' was a nasty swearword. Nowadays, I like the word 'bollocks'. It just feels good to say it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It really doesn't bother me at all, in fact it can be quite funny :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why would you say something is happy?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    colloquialisms are so gay
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I stopped using the term 'gay' in the gay=crap way when I was about 15, I'm surprised given how long ago that was that its still in use.

    As for labels more generally, why would anyone define who they are by their sexuality?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    budda wrote: »
    As for labels more generally, why would anyone define who they are by their sexuality?
    Why would anyone define who they are by their race or nationality? I think it's just a minority group thing. If I went to live into another country, the fact that I'm from England would probably become a bigger part of who I am, both in the eyes of other people, and in the way I presented myself. In England, it's obviously not an issue. But yeah, but a group of straight men in a gay club, and see how keen they'd be to define themselves as straight.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why would anyone define who they are by their race or nationality? I think it's just a minority group thing. If I went to live into another country, the fact that I'm from England would probably become a bigger part of who I am, both in the eyes of other people, and in the way I presented myself.

    I suppose you are right, frankly I've never understood really what being proud of being 'English' really means, so I've never labeled myself that way.
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Stalin's Organist Posts: 13,327
    I think in all fairness, it isn't a problem.

    The problem is, as usuall, people being over sensative to it. As with the word "black" etc.

    Black and White, I don't care what they say, we need a way to pick differences. If I have two friends call say, dave, and one is black, the other white - I may choose to add the colour before the name.

    Gay means happy. Somehow (I dunno when or how personally) it came to mean a homosexual. Same with Fag in America. Fag is a smoke. Fag is also a ******, a small pork thing, and the Nato call sign of the Mig 15 is Fagot. So who knows there. Anyway, it has since come to mean crap. Oh well.

    I think words should be for use as they come. The only problem I see is when said words are used in a hateful and offensive manner. I am not being Homophobic when I say "iPods are gay". It is impossible to assign an iPod sexuality, isn't it? I am meaning that I think iPods are crap.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teh_Gerbil wrote: »
    Same with Fag in America. Fag is a smoke.

    That misunderstanding nearly got me beaten by a Canadian bouncer, he didnt seem to like the answer 'oh, its just my packet of fags'.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teh_Gerbil wrote: »
    I think words should be for use as they come. The only problem I see is when said words are used in a hateful and offensive manner. I am not being Homophobic when I say "iPods are gay". It is impossible to assign an iPod sexuality, isn't it? I am meaning that I think iPods are crap.
    Yeah, but I think the problem isn't with using the word, it's that gay has somehow become a negative thing, and something that's used to (let's face it) insult something or someone. But I suppose I'm as guilty as the next person. I often refer to something as "retarded." Is that insulting to certain groups?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    budda wrote: »
    That misunderstanding nearly got me beaten by a Canadian bouncer, he didnt seem to like the answer 'oh, its just my packet of fags'.


    Could be worse a few years ago a friend of mine, noticing someone hadn't put out there cig properly turned to them and said "Put your fag butt out"
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Stalin's Organist Posts: 13,327
    Could be worse a few years ago a friend of mine, noticing someone hadn't put out there cig properly turned to them and said "Put your fag butt out"

    "Can I bum a fag, mate?" Worst phrase in the USA, ever.

    Yeah, words like Retarded, etc, all get used. Sure, they are all used as negative things. But I don't actually think anyone here who uses thw words "gay" or "retarded" is actually meaning that they hate retarded or gay people... are they?

    I don't think the majority of folk are, do you? We can't help what happens to language. It will end up like the Daily Mail constantly warns and makes stories up about the "Black Boards" if we don't relax a little with words.

    I have no issue with gay people or the mentally ill. However I call things retarded and gay when indeed, I dislike said thing or person. I am not actually being hateful.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teh_Gerbil wrote: »
    I have no issue with gay people or the mentally ill. However I call things retarded and gay when indeed, I dislike said thing or person. I am not actually being hateful.

    You are not being hateful.

    However, by using words like 'gay' in a negative context - albeit quite innocently in your eyes - you are entrenching a negative word for something that ought not to have negative connotations.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    double post.
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