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LIFE IS SO PRECIOUS!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This weekend I tried to kill myself.
I've suffered from depression for ages, but I got better when I left school.
I had a hard week in college and I honestly thought that my old problems were going to arise again in Yale.
I've been bullied all my life because I've got laxable joints. It makes sport and physical activities more difficult for me and I got told I was a spazz and a gimp. But the most hurtfull of the remarks was "hunchback" because at the time I had a scoliosis (curvature of the spine), so this lad spread it around my school and I ended up having practically every person call me it (literally).
I saw this lad at the college gates and he was calling me a hunchback again (even though my spine is straight now) and I was so scared that he'd spread false rumours around college and scared that my horrible past would return.
I'd also been having trouble in work and with some close friends, in the end, on Friday night I took an overdose and ended up with a drip in my arm and being violently sick in hospital.
The thing I didn't realise at the time was how much I hurt the people who loved me, my mum told me she'd kill herself if I died and my mates were gutted.
I didn't realise how people cared for me, my friends promised that the lad would never hurt me again and my parents are going to complain about my treatment at work.
The story's a lot longer but I'll get straight to the point. LIFE IS SO PRECIOUS, if I'd ended it on the weekend I'd have never learnt how much I'm loved and how much I love other people.
This weekend will change my life forever, I'm starting over and picking up the pieces to begin a new life.
Life is the one gift you are born with, life is beautiful and you can get so much out of it!
IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE WORD...
I've suffered from depression for ages, but I got better when I left school.
I had a hard week in college and I honestly thought that my old problems were going to arise again in Yale.
I've been bullied all my life because I've got laxable joints. It makes sport and physical activities more difficult for me and I got told I was a spazz and a gimp. But the most hurtfull of the remarks was "hunchback" because at the time I had a scoliosis (curvature of the spine), so this lad spread it around my school and I ended up having practically every person call me it (literally).
I saw this lad at the college gates and he was calling me a hunchback again (even though my spine is straight now) and I was so scared that he'd spread false rumours around college and scared that my horrible past would return.
I'd also been having trouble in work and with some close friends, in the end, on Friday night I took an overdose and ended up with a drip in my arm and being violently sick in hospital.
The thing I didn't realise at the time was how much I hurt the people who loved me, my mum told me she'd kill herself if I died and my mates were gutted.
I didn't realise how people cared for me, my friends promised that the lad would never hurt me again and my parents are going to complain about my treatment at work.
The story's a lot longer but I'll get straight to the point. LIFE IS SO PRECIOUS, if I'd ended it on the weekend I'd have never learnt how much I'm loved and how much I love other people.
This weekend will change my life forever, I'm starting over and picking up the pieces to begin a new life.
Life is the one gift you are born with, life is beautiful and you can get so much out of it!
IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE WORD...
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Comments
Being disabled with a back problem myself, having a chronic depression as a result I can certainly empathise with you. I sincerely hope you manage to find peace in your life.
Best wishes
derby.
[This message has been edited by derby county (edited 26-09-2000).]
u sound quite a strong person, dont let people get 2 u, i know its hard, as i was bullied, but i couldnt even imagine what u've been through. all i can say is i hope things continue to b better, and remeber theres always peeps to talk 2 here if u need us.
c ya
stay happy
love helen
Since then I cant look at suicide in any other way as selfish. I know that when u r on the edge u cant help but feel nobody gives a shit, but there is always somebody somewhere that does.
A nice thing came out of this though. At around the same time of their deaths I found out I was pregnant, and so did another girl who we had been in hospital with. I cant help but think that is a sign. Two deaths and two births? That I suppose put a nice ending on such a devastating two weeks.
I hope if u ever feel like this again, u will find the strength to talk to someone or even just come on here and air your feelings. Anything but to end your life. U r worth far more than that honey.
Lots of love and thoughts
Lolly xxxxx
I have been genuinely moved to tears by your postings, I hope this doesn't sound corny, but as I sit typing this, I feel so humble to feel I know you all.
My very best wishes,
love derby
im a cristian,(not a bible basher, nor do i go to church, or preach god 2 ever1) but i hope he looks down on all of u as ur all so lovely and cute and i some times wish i could jump in2 the screen and give u all a huge hug!!!!!!
i'd better go now,but im always emotional after i leave here, most will prob think im sad, i know daze will!!! (we had a bit of a fall out over drugs!)
c ya
love ya all lots like jelly tots love helen
I have just read back what I've written and it sounds kinda false but I don't want to go into details or anything. I sometimes find that life is a complete bastard and spend a lot of my life just staring at walls without the motivation to do anything.
I only found this site today and have poured out numerous problems of mine and you know what, it's really helped. Just talking about them has made so much difference and having people reply has made me feel like I'm worth something.
I agree with everyone else LIFE IS PRECIOUS, don't waste it, I'm trying not to but I'm not going to say that it's easy.xxx
Please don't bring up old topics, or we'll send the boys 'round.
Ta.
Who, us?
*whistles innocently*
Spent about 4 months in a unit, but I just got out a month agao and I'm sound.
Thanks for caring tho.
Take care
Sel
xx
Susie <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
And cos this post is so old, I'll close it now