Home Health & Wellbeing
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SELF HARM

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
There are a lot of myths about self harm aren't there, but it's a lot more common than we think.
Did you know that in some hospitals they refuse to treat a victim of self harm? sad isn't it.
I know a lot about self harm because of personal experience. I didn't do it for attention and I'm not a masochist, as some people believe. It was a cry for help and I really didn't know how else to deal with my emotions, especially after my grandparents died so close to each other.
If you're a victim you really should tell someone, don't be ashamed or think you're a freak. If anyone says anything about it to offend you, hold your head high and tell yourself that you're going to get better and that nobody's gonna trample you down.
Easier said than done isn't it, the hardest part is telling someone, believe me. I used to cut myself and take solvents for about two years and when I got councilling things improved (although prozac helped).
I used to try to sort out my problems by myself, I bottled up my feelings and kept my traumas from the prying eyes of others. If I'd have discussed my problems with other people I wouldn't have got as bad as I did. There's someone who everyone can trust, maybe a friend, relative, collegue or teacher. And it won't be as bad as you think, nothing ever is.
I recovered. At one point I even lost my faith. At the time I didn't see a future in my life.
Now? I'm a student studying for politics, english, sociology and media studies. I'm ok aren't I? To look at me now and to look back then you'd see two different people.
I believe that there's hope for everyone, if you self harm don't be ashamed, thousands if not millions of people go through it for different reasons.
If you know someone who self harms, don't tell them to "cheer up" or "snap out of it" because THEY NEED YOUR SUPPORT.
Why not try these links I've found, http://www.freespace.virgin.net/basement.project for the WAVES site
http://www.ncb.org.uk/selfharm.htm

These are all the links I have at the moment so I really hope they work (because I got them out of a leaflet). Please add any links if you have them, if I come across anymore I'll post them on the board.
~*GOOD LUCK, MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU.*~
love from lady liberty.


IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE WORD...

[This message has been edited by ~*LADY LIBERTY*~ (edited 20-09-2000).]

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for that Lady Liberty, its nice to have this sort of thing availiable. Anyone got any other good links for health problems? Anyone got any current mental or physical health problems they'de like some advice on? Speak, the board is listening!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Self-harm is not about dying, it's about living.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Caliph:
    Thanks for that Lady Liberty, its nice to have this sort of thing availiable. Anyone got any other good links for health problems? Anyone got any current mental or physical health problems they'de like some advice on? Speak, the board is listening!

    As a manic depressive I found a good site on depression, good place to learn how you or a loved one may be feeling and how to get help, it's an exellent self-help group. Hope it may help others like it does me.
    http://www.depressionalliance.org/

    take care
    Luka

    The river is wide and oh so deep
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by j9j9:
    Thank's for that, I will probably have a look at that site later. Although I am OK now, you never know when it's going to hit you again do you?

    J9

    only 2 true I'm in my 3rd bout of deperssion never wanted it to return but it did. I found thie site last night whilst climbing the walls, it's very helpful and informative. and it's chatroom is a goodplace to go when the insomnia hits.

    Take care
    Luka

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by j9j9:
    I had/have a friend...she had this condition where she had parasites under her skin and she needed to cut her skin to get them out.

    This caused me a problem because I was taught (during very very limited training) that one should neither validate nor invalidate a person's beliefs in situations like this. Apparently the only person who believed her was her psychiatrist, and she wanted assurance from me that I believed her!


    J9

    Anyone that has fixed false perceptions that occur in the absence of an external sensory stimuli, ie hallucinations - believes them to be very real. They can affect any of the five senses, so people may hear, see, smell, touch or taste which doesn't exist.

    This happens in mental health problems such as schizophrenia.

    If you agree with them, you are in a way reinforcing them, but if you deny their existence, you cause problems because they are very real to that person.

    The kindest way to deal with friends who display this kind of behaviour is to say,

    "I believe you believe it to be real"


    [This message has been edited by derby county (edited 21-09-2000).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow, how cool to have this new forum. Self harm is a topic I have come into for a long time in my life. Having first cut at the age of seven I have found it really hard to stop. But, however, I am getting there and havent cut since finding out I am pregnant (about three months now) which is a miricle for me. I thought there was no hope for me ever curing myself of cutting and all the other forms of self abuse I found my way into. Well, it has taken me to be having a baby to get over it all, but at least somethings worked I suppose. By the way, dont go getting pregnant as a way of solving your problems (not a good idea!!!). Just thought Id let people know that its not impossible, u just need something in your life to give U a meaning and a sense of self worth. If u look deep enough u can find that sense of self worth, but for some its harder than others. Hope this has given other people hope.
    Love lolly xxx


    "You cant see the picture when you're standing in the frame"
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for having the courage to share this with us lolly.

    Even though I am a trained psychiatric nurse, I am currently on anti-depressants and feeling my life is s**t, due to constant back pain, not being able to work in my career again etc, etc.

    So its good to talk at the saying goes!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by derby county:
    Thank you for having the courage to share this with us lolly.

    Even though I am a trained psychiatric nurse, I am currently on anti-depressants and feeling my life is s**t, due to constant back pain, not being able to work in my career again etc, etc.

    So its good to talk at the saying goes!!


    Obviously I don't know exactly what your job entails Derby, but don't you think that you are continuing your career here? <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    J9


    [This message has been edited by j9j9 (edited 22-09-2000).]
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I suppose in a way j9 I am. But I don't want to come accross as a 'know it all', or the fountain of all knowledge. <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

    I guess by being in a bad state myself, at least I can empathise with the grief that people are going through when they are having crises.

    As oppose to when i worked in psychiatric hospitals, guessing what people who were depressed etc were feeling, when I had no idea how it really feels.

    Though if I am being honest I do feel as if thesite gives me the opportunity to try and help people - I guess it is a pity otherwise to let the little knowledge and experience I do have go to waste.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow Derby County, U r a psychiatric Nurse. Something I would have loved to do later in life. Just wondering what places u may have worked. Ever heard of Northgate Adolescent Unit in Edgware? Was a patient there and wondered if U may have heard of it.
    Hope u manage to get through your depression. Its a horrible thing being depressed and not something there is an easy cure for. My auntie was a psychologist and she got depressed and started drinking, she is now an alcholic. It just goes to show that it can happen to anybody, even the people who r there to help u get through your shit. I find that kinda reasuring, as it prooves that shit can happen to all types of people, and that helps u feel less alone I guess.
    Take care and hope things turn out ok soon!
    Lots of love Lolly xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya lolly, thankyou for your support.

    You're right, shit can happen to anyone. You just don't know what is around the corner.

    I am sorry to hear about your auntie. Though it just backs up the fact that health care professionals are far more likely to end up as alcoholics than pub landlords etc.

    I nursed in derby, and I never got to work out of the area, you know family etc, so I don't know Edgeware's unit. By the way, I hope you are coping with your pregnancy, and I am glad to hear you are not cutting.

    One thing I would say to people is

    You never know what is around the corner, plan your life - but don't forget to live it.

    derby
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi to u too Derby. How true about pan your life but not forgetting to live it. I am coping really well with the pregnacy thing and think it has been the making of me. Everybody who has worked with me in the past (ie social workers etc) thinks it is a good thing and probably the only thing that would make me feel worthy of living!I am totally positive and confidant ill b a good mum, even if its not very good circumstances to be having a baby in.
    Anyway, getting back to planning your life. I tried to do that many a time, but there always seems to be another surprise lurking round the corner. Some sort of life changing event that will fuck up whatever I planned to do anyway ha ha ha! This is why I gave up planning anything, I think its a much better way to live lol!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for replying to my topic, you're all in my heart.

    IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE WORD...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow, great to see this topic being discussed here. It's amazing to me that self-harm is still such a shameful,misunderstood, taboo subject, even amongst medical professionals.

    I was first diagnosed with severe clinical depression at age 7, and have been fighting it ever since. One of my main symptoms has been self-destructive and self-abusive beahviour. It isn't the same action every time, but I've come to realize that the intent is always the same. I've always been a cutter, which I was so embarrassed about I couln't even tell my doctor. I also do things like starve myself, drive dangerously, and abuse drugs.

    One of the reasons I think it's hard to talk about it is that people don't understand that it isn't a suicide attempt- even most doctors. We are trying to feel better, not kill ourselves. Mick33 knows what he is saying. For me anyhow, I don't get sad when depressed, I feel absolutely no emotion whatsoever. The act of physically hurting myself allows me to feel like I'm alive.

    One of my greatest fears with telling anyone about it is that in Canada (I'm sure there are similar laws elsewhere), doctors are required by law to have you detained for at least 72 hours if they suspect you are suicidal.With the misunderstandings about self-abusers, I think people are afraid to tell others about it.

    From what I understand, this stuff is pretty common amongst people with depression and other disorders.

    Thank you so much for having the courage to bring up this subject
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just thought I'd update you on the situation in Canada.

    I've just been accepted into a trial therapy program for self-abusers at a prestigious hospital. Apparently it is the first one receiving government funding in this country.It will be a combination of behavioural modification and regular talking therapy.

    I don't start for several weeks, but would anyone like to know some of the techniques they teach me when I start? (assuming they are helpful, of course).

    Would it be useful if I post them here or are people bored of the topic?

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GOOD NEWS!

    I haven't self-harmed in a month!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow! Congrats on your month Liberty!
    Unfortunately, I've had both a drug and self-harm relapse that is happening as I write this. I've been injecting cocaine for 24 hours straight now. I know that I'm hurting myself in two different ways (using drugs and choosing to inject them).

    I think this relapse has happened because there has been lot of stress in my life in the past week. A very good friend has turned her back on me, and tomorrow I start back at work for the first time in 3 1/2 months.

    Or maybe I'm just making excuses. Not sure.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how you feel, I recently lost a friend who was very close to me, almost like a younger sister. I've just started a new job (although it's only part time) too.

    One thing I've learnt from my experiences is that life can be a pain in the fucking ass, but it goes on. Having someone turn their back on you hurts like hell, but my personal experiences have made me stronger.

    Keep safe,
    love
    LIBERTY
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    r u all right now groovaybaby?

    and burnout_girl how you doing as well?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For anybody who would like to know some more about self-harm and recovery from it, we've got an article and an interview on TheSite:
    http://www.thesite.org/health/headstate/self_harm.html
    http://www.thesite.org/health/headstate/recovering_from_self_harm.html

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As Some of you may know since I've been in the priory hospital my self harm has become out of control, so much so when I was discharged my consultant back at my NHS hospital re-admitted into the secure unit where if I wanted a ciggie I had to ask for a light from the staff,needless to say I decided to stop my harming, I had done well with having had a few days at home, not harming. I then had an appointment with the consultant who not only discharged me with no support (much like the priory)but decided to reverse his decision to refer me to a theraputic comunity, and instead put me through a once a week pyschology session (again, last time failed to help I can't see it would be different) anyway I slipped up badly on tuesday and started to cut my arms again. Worse still coping became beyond me lastnight and I started to take an overdose, at about 11:30 I had the police kicking my door down. I spent the whole night and most of the morning in A&E. Worst of All I dozed off for a while this morning to be woken for my 2 hourly blood tests, to be confronted by a nurse who happens to be a friend, her face was horrifed to see what I had done. Although I know what I did upset a lot of people, can't say I feel better for having failed, But I feel so guilty for having done this to all my friends. J9, Gwai, I'm sorry you have had to find out this way, and hope you'll accept my apology even if you don't undertand or accept what I did.
    Love & Apologies to you all
    Luka
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi LUKA, I wasn't there when you first came along here, but I'd just like to say please keep trying and keep talking here, everybody wants to help. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you'll get there eventually, just keep trying. You've managed to be happy (or not self-harm anyway) for short periods recently... one day one of those periods will get longer and longer till it lasts for ever.

    Good luck.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    luka, ure a great inspiration to me and i rreally look uop to u and i wish i had the courage u have
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