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If you saw what cheating did to people you'd understand. Maybe you never will. I had the misfortune of going on a forum full of people who'd been cheated on. It was like, hell. They were all so full of pain and hate. Wanting to kill themselves, or their exes. When you cheat you will never take into account how much it hurts the other person. You can ruin someones life, because they'll find it hard to ever trust someone again.
But then again, maybe your husband will be happier when you're gone, because he can find someone who truly loves him and wants to be with him. I have no sympathy for you, you can say 'but I don't want to hurt anyone.. it's just that...' but you're being utterly selfish and horrible.
You think affairs are justified? Because you're a bit horny? Because you want a bit of fun? It's sickening. If you want someone else, get a divorce. If you're confused, go to relate. Get some counselling. An affair is never ever healthy (except in some mitigating circumstances, for example if your partner expressed wishes never to have sex but is ok with you having sex with other people to fulfill your own urges). If you can't tell your husband, then you know it's wrong.
And however you might to justify it, you're wrong. And you're worse for trying to encourage another guy to hurt his wife, too. You never know, he might still love her.
It sounds like the same could be applied to yourself, my dear. :yeees:
To be honest, it DOES sound like you're making it out to be something it's not, and I would like to add that this sounds like you could end up getting all hung up on him and going a bit bunny boiler.
I'd just leave it, as I know from personal experience that 'affairs' aren't worth it and it simply doesn't sound like he is all that keen on you past the flirting stage!
There's your advice on affairs. You gonna listen?
Have you considered that he may not mean he will let you down physically, but emotionally? You seem to want more from this guy than he's willing to give:
Someone having an affair is often said to have "a bit on the side", and my advice to you is to remember that that's what you are. This guy already has a wife who fulfils some of his relationship needs (if she didn't, he wouldn't still be with her), so you're just something extra for him, to fulfil whatever needs his wife isn't. He doesn't want to get serious in terms of emotions or getting involved in each others' lives - he just wants a bit of fun.
I also advise you to think about what you expect from this affair (I'm guessing it's your first?). Are you just looking for a bit on the side too? Are relations with your husband ok apart from your sexual problems? Or are you looking for someone who will take your husband's place, not physically in your home, but in your heart? Because if that's the case - and I'm wondering if it is, since you say you love this guy - then I would strongly advise against carrying on with the affair, if nothing else because you're going to end up getting hurt when this guy won't commit to you.
Affairs are, in the vast majority of cases, a short term thing, and you should never go into one with expectations for the long term or hoping that things will develop over time. You have to think of them in terms of the situation as it is now and not expect anything more from it. And you have to decide whether you're able to stay unattached enough so that when he calls time on it, you won't get hurt. He's had five affairs already so I can't see that this one will be anything more than another in the queue for him... but are you ok with that? I think that's what he means when he says he thinks he'll let you down.
If it's just sex, buy a fucking vibrator.
why the hell are u doing it?
and if he wants sex with u so bad, why hasnt he shagged ya yet?
Well we haven't shagged yet because we live within an hour of each other and have to plan our meetings around our spouses. Get the picture????
sorry
still dont think he's too bothered about it all tho to be honest
What part of "cheating on your husband is wrong" are you not understanding?