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Counselling

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey,

I've just received my appointment for counselling, but have got to fill in a questionnaire about my health and hand it in at the first session.

I'm worried about this because it asks questions about self harm, suicidal thoughts, plans etc. All of these things are things i struggle with on a daily basis. I don't know whether to tell the truth though, because i'm worried she'll think i'm at high risk and do something.

I don't know whether to lie on it and say i don't have problems with self harm and suchlike, just so that she doesn't do anything im not comfortable with.

What do u guys think i should do?
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How old are you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey...
    Im 19
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would tell the truth personally. It might be easier to get conselling, but I don't know?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote:
    I would tell the truth personally.

    I just dont want her to think im a nutjob who needs locking away for my own good
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cool, just checking before I write my reply as I base this on my own experience of counselling as an adult and have no idea if it applies to younger people.

    Basically I would advise you to be 100% honest. Self-harming and suicidal ideation are really common and they should be used to dealing with this lots. If there is anything on the form that you aren't comfortable with then just leave it blank, don't lie. A lot of the time these forms are used to moniter your progress over time more than anything else.

    I was wondering what you mean by your fear that she'll "do something". They can't tell others if that's what you are worried about. Or was it that you are worried about being put on a ward or sectioned or something along these lines? It's actually much harder than anyone thinks to get sectioned, it tends to be people who have lost touch with reality and are pyschotic etc rather than people who have negative ways of handling their emotions such as self-harm. I've never been sectioned or on a ward yet I have severe depression and self harm to quite an extreme extent (I put razor blades in my vagina and other nasty stuff like that) and I have done a lot of research into suicide options, funeral arrangements etc for myself. I have made no secret of this from the health care professionals who have the 'joys' of treating me and yet still I'm not forced into doing anything I don't want to.

    I don't know all the details of your situation and I'm not a mental health professional or anything but I just wanted to give you my own story to reassure you that it'll be okay. I vaguely remember thinking that I would be locked up in a straight jacket the first time I saw my GP for self-harm issues when really nothing like this would ever occur. I know you are seeing a counsillor not a GP but the same goes for them too.

    Good luck with it all :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Agrees with everything RG has said* I'd say give it chance. It helped me hugely.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thankyou Randomgirl.

    That is my fear. I can imagine walking in there and not being able to come back out.

    It's taken about 6 months for me to finally get the strength to see a counsellor, and now that the oppurtunity is here, im scared senseless. I opened the letter and felt sick with nerves. Now its all i can think about.

    I have an exam tommorrow and have been so down that i still have done no revision whatsoever for it. I just can't focus. Im so so afraid that she'l think im loopy that i cant concentrate on anything else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Agrees with everything RG has said* I'd say give it chance. It helped me hugely.
    Thanks, i think reassurance is what i need
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Agrees with everything RG has said* I'd say give it chance.
    I agree too....there's no point in going if you're not going to be honest :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Went for my first one today. They said it takes a while to get the hang of how it works. And did say its beneficial to be honest, pointless otherwise!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fairy wrote:
    Went for my first one today. They said it takes a while to get the hang of how it works. And did say its beneficial to be honest, pointless otherwise!

    Thanks for that. I find it reassuring. Fingers crossed i'll be ok
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is what happens at the counsellors I go to (I don't know if this is the way all counsellors work, but I would guess so). You go in, sit down, and talk about whatever you want to, whatever is bothering you that you feel comfortable talking about. He/she will not ask you questions to make you give out more information than you feel ok with - for example, at my last session I said something like "He says really nasty things that make me feel really upset," but my counsellor didn't say anything like "What kind of things?" even though that might have made it easier for him to judge the situation. I could have said more if I'd wanted to, but there was nothing to make me feel pressured into doing so if I didn't want to.

    The response you get from the counsellor is mainly to help you evaluate your own situation and find your own way to deal with your issues. He/she won't tell you what to do, instead he/she will encourage you to develop to skills to find your own answers, so that in time you'll be able to help yourself without the need for a counsellor. Mine often repeats what I've explained to him in his own words, something like "What I'm getting is that you feel upset by the way he is treating you". That's often really helpful because, as an insider to your situation, it can be difficult to see it like an outsider does, and if a friend came to you with the same problem you'd know exactly what to advise, but because it's you going through it you can't see it properly.

    Although specific circumstances vary from person to person, the problems people encounter in their lives aren't that varied, so don't be worried that your counsellor will think you're strange. He/she will probably have dealt with lots of people who have just the same sort of problems as you - which means that he/she will be well prepared to help you solve them. Good luck! Oh, and one more thing - don't be worried or afraid about crying if you find you want to while you're there. At my centre there's a box of tissues prominently on the table in each of the rooms, so it's presumably something they expect, and the first time went I think I spent nearly the whole hour in tears and my counsellor didn't think any the worse of me for it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Answer truthfully, at the end of the day there are there to help and you want your issues to be sorted out so that you can live your life to its full potential.

    I have no experience with such things like the other people who have replied but definitely tell the truth because if not things will only get worse.

    I hope it all goes well for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks squeal. I really do feel more positive about being open and honest. When the time comes its going to be hard for me, but i'm hoping and praying that i go. As i think ive said, i cant go on like this anymore, its tearing me apart. Counseeling seems like my only option.

    Wildchild. Thanks for the post. I think it helps me to know that i'll have some element of control over the situation. I think that's one of my worries. I don't want to go in there and feel as tho im powerless.

    Thanks ppl
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sure you will be fine. You aren't alone and they will have dealt with loads of people in the same situation before.

    It's good to know that you can always chat to someone on here who is going through the same things. Moral support from people who understand where you are coming from is always great so you can always get to know them better.

    Don't back out of going whatever you do, be strong and do what is best, be proud of yourself for seeking help too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jordy wrote:
    Thanks for that. I find it reassuring. Fingers crossed i'll be ok

    Sure...if you don't get on with the counsellor you can always move to a different one. I thought I'd feel like a nutter going along but it was actually okay.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agree with all said above.

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with admitting that you have such thoughts - indeed, I would encourage people to actively disclose thoughts such as this that they have with their counsellor. There's nothing worse than keeping these feelings bottled up because you're worried about how they'll react... and then feeling like there's something wrong with you and feeling worse.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would definately agree about being truthful, I cocked up there and it didn't hlep me whatsoever, I ended up being worse off for it, if that makes sense. I have depression and am on AD's, 'trying' and 'recovering' from self harm, but it's so early days, I've told my counsellor thoughts I've had, suicide things- how, where etc, and she has always been comfortable listening to me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    I would definately agree about being truthful, I cocked up there and it didn't hlep me whatsoever, I ended up being worse off for it, if that makes sense. I have depression and am on AD's, 'trying' and 'recovering' from self harm, but it's so early days, I've told my counsellor thoughts I've had, suicide things- how, where etc, and she has always been comfortable listening to me.

    Thanks for that. It's creeping closer to the day now (only 5 days away), so any reassurance is much appreciated. Im so nervous.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jordy wrote:
    I just dont want her to think im a nutjob who needs locking away for my own good


    but youre getting counselling. why would you go, pay more money than you can afford to be giving them, and not speak the truth? im positive youre not the only case theyll ever have thats involved self mutilation. if they are going to help, they need to know it all.

    but hey, think of it this way. if they tell the police, sue them out of their wits, for breaking the "doctor-patient confidentiality" and use that money to get out of the loony bin, or wherever they woudl end up sending you! its fool proof ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jordy wrote:
    Thanks for that. It's creeping closer to the day now (only 5 days away), so any reassurance is much appreciated. Im so nervous.
    No problem, PM me if you ever want/need to chat :) Hope it goes well for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well... today's the day!

    My appointment is in half an hour, and to say im shitting bricks is an understatement! Don't think ive ever been as nervous!

    I'll let you know how it goes
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I hope it went well for you :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Randomgirl!!!

    It wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. A lot of stuff came out that i didn't expect to get so upset about!

    I don't know if its made me feel worse tho. Then again, i need to give it time. Things have to get worse before they get better right?

    As for the issues of self harm and suicide... She did bring them up. I was so nervous. She said that it is one occasion where she'll have to break confidentialty and tell my GP. I'm worried a little about that, as he has no idea. I praying things will be ok.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes, it takes a while for you to feel comfortable with your counsellor, I had to go to a different counsellor, as I just couldn't relax with one I had when I was 17/18. I had 2 others when I was younger, but that wasn't my choice in changing, it was because one singed me off then i got sent again! But when i was 17/18 and changed to another one, I ofund such a difference and he really helped me, he would talk about thing that were important to me, even if it was nothing to do with my mental helth, such as friends or going out, and he told me about his family and going out, like he thought if he talked to me than i'd talk to him more - which i did! He even helped me get a job I wanted at the time!
    Sometimes when I feel sad I wish I could go back, but it would all cause too much trouble, and the place has shut down now too!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jordy wrote: »
    Hey Randomgirl!!!

    It wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. A lot of stuff came out that i didn't expect to get so upset about!

    I don't know if its made me feel worse tho. Then again, i need to give it time. Things have to get worse before they get better right?

    As for the issues of self harm and suicide... She did bring them up. I was so nervous. She said that it is one occasion where she'll have to break confidentialty and tell my GP. I'm worried a little about that, as he has no idea. I praying things will be ok.

    Glad to hear it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be!

    It can make a lot of things come to the surface that you were surpressing or didn't even know were an issue. Often people do find they get worse before they get better :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hallo mate...

    Yeah, it's not so bad... I was in councilling/therapy for a good four years of my life and it helped me a lot. As a result I'm stronger (even though I'm going through a shitty phase at the moment).

    She wouldn't break confidentiality if it weren't for your own good. I used to be a self-harmer too and used to use solvents. If anything, I hope you get the help you need.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    She wouldn't break confidentiality if it weren't for your own good. I used to be a self-harmer too and used to use solvents. If anything, I hope you get the help you need.


    Yeah, i know what you mean. I just don't see the point in her telling him because its not like he needs to know, as he's not the one i'm speaking to, (if that makes sense)! And in that case i wonder what the point was, unless she's thinking of doing anything rash.

    Im just a really paranoid person, and feel as tho im not in control.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jordy wrote: »
    Yeah, i know what you mean. I just don't see the point in her telling him because its not like he needs to know, as he's not the one i'm speaking to, (if that makes sense)! And in that case i wonder what the point was, unless she's thinking of doing anything rash.

    Im just a really paranoid person, and feel as tho im not in control.

    You know, if you have a mental illness (and by illness, I mean something which can be made better, trust me on this) like depression then it's only natural to feel out of control. Don't beat yourself up with it... If anything, this councilling is an pportunity for you to overcome something and once you're through it you learn so many amazing things about yourself.

    As for your GP, well it's his job to take care of you, he went through all these years of training to help people like you, so maybe it's best to have him know. I promise you he won't judge you and any actons he take will be in your best interests, even if he suggests drugs or more intensive therapy to help you recover and become a stronger person.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You know, if you have a mental illness (and by illness, I mean something which can be made better, trust me on this) like depression then it's only natural to feel out of control. Don't beat yourself up with it... If anything, this councilling is an pportunity for you to overcome something and once you're through it you learn so many amazing things about yourself.

    As for your GP, well it's his job to take care of you, he went through all these years of training to help people like you, so maybe it's best to have him know. I promise you he won't judge you and any actons he take will be in your best interests, even if he suggests drugs or more intensive therapy to help you recover and become a stronger person.

    Thanks a lot. That was a really nice post. I appreciate it.
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