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tell me what you think

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Kinda seeing this guy. He is alot old than me and we are both married to different people!! We have done some things but not anything major. He emails me and tells me all these things he wants to do to me and then when I see him in person he is a chicken. I shouldn't say he is a chicken. Maybe he just is a little uncomfortable getting it on in the car. I dont know. Then when I email him he acts like it a bother to write me back and he never answers my questions. When I ask him serious questions he just laughs it off and plays games with my head. So my question is this!!

How do I come out and tell him that he needs to smarten up. I have put the guilt trip on him and it doesn't work. I stop emailing him for a week and he never sends me anything to see what is up. He is making me crazy!! He is also one of men you just can't say no to because he just drives ya wild. The bad thing is he knows how to play me. If I send him a long email that tells him off he sends me one back being all sweet and talking dirty to me and I give in. What do I do?????:banghead: :banghead:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    What do I do?????:banghead: :banghead:

    Finish it.

    I think it's absololutely disgusting that you are both married. Do you not have any consideration for your partners feelings? How would you feel if it's the other way round?

    As for the other guy he just sounds like he's enjoying having a bit on the side whenever he feels like it and also having his wife there for him always.

    I hope soon your husband wakes up and realises he can do better.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you dont need to be so harsh
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    you dont need to be so harsh

    It's only harsh because it's the truth.

    If your having problems with your husband then sort them out. Don't go looking for what is missing whilst you are still married. Cheating on him will just cause major trust issues for him in the future.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    Kinda seeing this guy. He is alot old than me and we are both married to different people!! We have done some things but not anything major. He emails me and tells me all these things he wants to do to me and then when I see him in person he is a chicken. I shouldn't say he is a chicken. Maybe he just is a little uncomfortable getting it on in the car. I dont know. Then when I email him he acts like it a bother to write me back and he never answers my questions. When I ask him serious questions he just laughs it off and plays games with my head. So my question is this!!

    How do I come out and tell him that he needs to smarten up. I have put the guilt trip on him and it doesn't work. I stop emailing him for a week and he never sends me anything to see what is up. He is making me crazy!! He is also one of men you just can't say no to because he just drives ya wild. The bad thing is he knows how to play me. If I send him a long email that tells him off he sends me one back being all sweet and talking dirty to me and I give in. What do I do?????:banghead: :banghead:

    stop cheating, or attempting to cheat on your husband.
    You seem to realize that guy is a dork and it's nothing serious. Is it really worth it to put a marriage (or 2?) on the stack for some sloppy sex?

    You even noticed he's just playing mind tricks on you. This is not a serious hanky-panky, quit it, now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tbh I think youre expecting a lot for him to act like its some sort of serious relationship when youre both married to other people.
    Is there any particular reason you feel like you cant sort things out in your marriage?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah everyone that has an affair know they shouldn't do it but you dont know my situation okay so dont judge me. I love my husband but I also love this other man!! I know it sounds sick but have you ever had someone you were so attracted to that you just had to have them???
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote:
    Finish it.

    I think it's absololutely disgusting that you are both married. Do you not have any consideration for your partners feelings? How would you feel if it's the other way round?

    As for the other guy he just sounds like he's enjoying having a bit on the side whenever he feels like it and also having his wife there for him always.

    I hope soon your husband wakes up and realises he can do better.

    Harsh, but this is what I was thinking as well.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    What do I do?????:banghead: :banghead:

    Grow a spine.

    Obviously you're bored or very unhappy in your marriage if you're looking elsewhere (who the other person is, is basically irrelevant) and even if your marriage in itself is fine you are being unfair to your husband.

    This guy sounds like he's not as into cheating - or at least the reality of it - as you are, so stop wasting your time. Look at your marriage objectively, if you want to end it then it needs to be a decision COMPLETELY independent of any ridiculous little games with some nitwit who is playing games with a married woman and fooling around behind his own wife's back. Good luck with it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    yeah everyone that has an affair know they shouldn't do it but you dont know my situation okay so dont judge me. I love my husband but I also love this other man!! I know it sounds sick but have you ever had someone you were so attracted to that you just had to have them???

    Well explain the situation to us more clearly.

    I don't understand how you can say you love your husband but be having an affair. It just doesn't seem to add up.

    Do you ever feel you rushed into marrying this guy? It seems like you still want to be out there having no strings sex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    yeah everyone that has an affair know they shouldn't do it but you dont know my situation okay so dont judge me. I love my husband but I also love this other man!! I know it sounds sick but have you ever had someone you were so attracted to that you just had to have them???

    well, if we do not know your situation, clue us in.

    For all we know is, that you are pursuing some internet-stud who acts up in e-mails, but has nothing to back that up. You are gambling with an marriage for someone "you just had to have him??".

    A lot of those just have to have him/her come across in one's life. This doesn't mean you should pursue them all, especially not if you are married.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well this is the situationl. In my marriage - when we first got married we did it all the time. Went through a time period where I didn't even get as much as a kiss. We recently got adult channels on the tv and all of a sudden he wants it all the time. Wouldn't you say that he is just giving it to me because of that. I have discussed these issues with him and he doesn't care or he would try and change and he hasn't. This other guy....he is just not someone I met on the internet he is someone from my hometown and I know him quite well.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you have problems in your marriage then you need to address them, not just start rubbing up against the first bloke who shows a hint (and this is only a hint) of interest.

    The attraction and fooling around with this other bloke is not the problem, it's a symptom of the bigger problem which is to do with mismatched libidos and possibly other problems in your marriage we don't know about. Maybe it is as a result of these adult channels, maybe your husband is as disilluisoned with the marriage as you are and it is reflected in his sex drive. You will only ever find out if you attempt to work through it with him, having an affair or an extra-marital fling will solve nothing except it will rid you of the horn for twenty minutes; so think seriously before you contact him again.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why do you 'have to have him' whats so great about him?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I honestly don't know what you are going to do.

    If i was you i would feel guilty and cheating on the man i "love" would always be in the back of my mind. Not that i would ever do such a thing.

    Or you could tell him, which would break his heart, and he'd either leave you or work through it. However if you did stay together eventually i think you'd begin to feel paranoid about him cheating on you to get revenge for what you did.

    Either way the more you keep seeing this guy the deeper the hole your digging will be getting.

    A serious talk with your husband is needed and cut contact with the other fella as no doubt he is clouding your mind.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds like you're both playing mind games. I have been in situations where people who say one thing and act in another manner, for it all to start again after a long conversation, and it's just not worth it, it can be very toxic and damaging.

    You're responsible for the choices you make, and for now, if you want to have a physical relationship with someone who isn't your husband, that's your decision, but ask yourself if it's for the sex, or chasing someone who seems unattainable and drives you into a frenzy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    okay seriously nobody really told me what I need to say to him or anything. All you did was critisize me and tell me to work on my marriage. There has to be someone that is having an affair...that could give advice!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought i did in my previous post to some extent :confused:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, you did ask for people to tell you what they thought and they did. Can't always get the responses you want to hear.

    If you want to know what I'd say to this guy, it would be along the lines of a goodbye, I don't like people who play games.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well sometimes I like a game or too.....lol lol
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    well sometimes I like a game or too.....lol lol
    sorry but that post makes you sound very immature

    if you are willing to risk your marriage for "games" you seriously need to reconsider your feelings for your husband

    in reply to your original post, it seems to me that this man likes the flirting, the emails, the feeling of being wanted, but isnt prepared to go all the way, probably because he respects his wife too much/isnt prepared to lose his family for a fling, shame you dont have the same respect for your husband
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    okay seriously nobody really told me what I need to say to him or anything. All you did was critisize me and tell me to work on my marriage. There has to be someone that is having an affair...that could give advice!!!

    that's like asking to kill someone. Do you really think anyone is going to set up a plan for you for the perfect crime?
    We try to advice what we think is right for you.

    He is not in for betraying his wife (even if he does to some extent). It's bad enough already if one judges you already on your intentions, instead of your actions.

    You will regret it.

    Go ahead an trick him into the box, but my opinion is, he's not in for it, you feel rejected and the marriage won't be the same. Be my guest if it's that what you want, but I am not giving advice for that, but don't come back crying then if your husband finds out and divorces you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well it's not like he doesnt want sex. He has had like 5 affairs before so it's not because he doesn't want to. I think if we had to opportunity to actually be in a comfortable place we would get it on. We have only been around each other in cars...not very comfy but he did tell me that next time we go in his truck we will do it....hopefully it wont be too bad!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    well it's not like he doesnt want sex. He has had like 5 affairs before so it's not because he doesn't want to. I think if we had to opportunity to actually be in a comfortable place we would get it on. We have only been around each other in cars...not very comfy but he did tell me that next time we go in his truck we will do it....hopefully it wont be too bad!!!
    you really aren't listening to anything anyone is saying are you?

    if he wanted it so bad, he'd have done it with ya by now, he's not interested

    i really don't see the point in anyone replying beyond this point
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just think he is scared that I might be making it out to be something it is not. He has told me that I might not like it and I think he thinks he is going to let me down. How do I tell him that it will be alright. I have already seen and somewhat done the merchandise....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    I just think he is scared that I might be making it out to be something it is not.
    you are making it out to be something it's not
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your just a youning yet so what do you know about affairs....nothing
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:

    i really don't see the point in anyone replying beyond this point
    Littleali wrote:
    you are making it out to be something it's not

    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    haha sorry strubs, couldnt resist :banghead:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    your just a youning yet so what do you know about affairs....nothing
    There isn't a lot to know. Affairs are destructive, nothing good ever comes from them.

    Stop being such a child.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dd38ll wrote:
    your just a youning yet so what do you know about affairs....nothing
    wtf? i`m almost 22, not 12

    i know the in's and out's of relationships!

    i`v been with my fella for over 4years and i`m engaged, i`m not some kid who has never dated/had sex/been tempted before

    you sound very immature for your age, that's all i'm saying on the matter now


    well, i`ll try not to reply anymore haha
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