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Making friends

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote:
    is there any reason you don't see them much?

    Mainly cos they've got blokes and stuff, and they tend to see each other rather than me. I'm not interested in going out with them when they're being all coupley because i just get left out, so no point seeing them much.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LacyMay wrote:
    Mainly cos they've got blokes and stuff, and they tend to see each other rather than me. I'm not interested in going out with them when they're being all coupley because i just get left out, so no point seeing them much.
    i understand how that feels because up until recently most of my friends had long term boyfriends. you should suggest having girly nights out so that you can all catch up. i had a free house last weekend and because we're all skint after xmas i decided to invite my girlfriends around for a sleepover (sounds so childish :p). we had loads of alcohol, take away and chocolate cake and it was so much fun. we non-stop chatted from 7pm til 5am. it kind of reaffirms your bond with everyone because even though i see my mates lots to go clubbing/pubbing, you just can't get the same level of conversation and open up as much.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote:
    thats not helpful


    c'mon, its a bit of humour. You seen the thread on Sex and know how Lacy posts, its nowt she can't handle I am sure.

    and I was kinda serious. She seems to be critical of guys bedroom performance and has no bones about it, I am sure there are loads of girls who do the same thing, probably enjoy laughing about hwo crap guys in bed are, so there u have summat in common.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Doomsday wrote:
    c'mon, its a bit of humour. You seen the thread on Sex and know how Lacy posts, its nowt she can't handle I am sure.

    and I was kinda serious. She seems to be critical of guys bedroom performance and has no bones about it, I am sure there are loads of girls who do the same thing, probably enjoy laughing about hwo crap guys in bed are, so there u have summat in common.

    yeah, but you wouldn't look for someone who has a bad trait in common with you...

    I agree with lipsy... Catch up with your friends you have, with girly evenings, and maybe you'll find new friends through them. Since you aren't seeing them much, their social life will have probably altered too. I can't fathom the "dragging the boyfriend everywhere along" either. When I meet up with my friends the girlfriends are almost never present.

    Best is always to connect where you already have a start...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dunno about women but I can make new friends pretty easily, being a part of a clique like hanging about with long haired freaks enables you to meet new people because they tend to stick together more than townies like. I hang about with both sets and don't have any problems meeting mates.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, until I came to university almost all of my friends were men, but I get on better with guys in general. However, since moving down south I have made some female friends, either by coincidence or because they're as wierd as I am.

    Tbh Lacy, the same thing happens with male friends too, they either hook up and disappear or it feels awkward. I think that if they are real friends when they would make time to see you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I only have a couple of female friends, the vast majority always been, and probably always will by guys. Probably because I'm very tomboy-ish and realte to guys a lot better. I really have to make an effort to even get on with most women, never mind being friendly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most of my mates are male, though I have about 6 really close girlfriends but we're all in the same circle or know each other. My girlfriends are more tomboyish acting, just like me. The reason most of my mate are male and my girls are tomboyish is because I find 'normal' girls annoying. Talking about make up all the time, setting times when we have to meet/ring whatever and if you don't want to do what they do, they fall out with you. I'm spur of the moment, I like to wake on a saturday, ring a mate and say "let's go watch the match and get pissed all day".
    I like crude jokes, I like being sarcastic, I like being loud, I don't like bitchyness and I don't like fall outs and rows. With girls you get a lot of this.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    LacyMay wrote:
    Well i think it's because i would benefit from being more girly. It's too hard to explain and to be honest i don't think i even know in my head but i feel like i'm missing out.

    I'm pretty sure I know what you mean.

    The kinds of evenings that Lipsy talked about, girl bonding sessions (sleepovers, whatever you like) can be fabulous and a great way to boost your sense of self-worth and wellbeing. You could suggest something similar with your current friends and really remind them what friendship is all about i.e girlfriends aren't just there to chat to when the boyfriend is busy/has done something wrong - there's lots of fun to be had!

    But while it sounds like you already have some pretty good friends, it's perfectly natural to want to expand your circle and get to know different types of people.

    Showing an interest in other women - including complimenting them on their dress sense (only if you mean it!), finding out about their weekend - especially if you did something good yourself that you can talk about, asking them questions about their family (in a "have you got any brothers or sisters" way) can be a great way to start. It's also good to show some reserve to begin with - be friendly and open, but don't give too much as this can transfer as a lack of self-awareness. (perhaps relate this to how you might be with a guy you really liked).

    But by far one of the most valuable qualities, imo, is patience. While there's bound to be people you click with straight away, other friendships can take time to really blossom - especially in the busy world we live in!

    I think you are approaching this from a really positive point of view and really hope things start to look up on the mates front :)
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