If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
So, there's this girl right...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
...
we went to secondary school together. Haven't seen her in over a year. We were best mates. I was her first kiss. It was all very lovely. But it's very much a case of her going down one path (going work) and me going down another (uni) and to be brutally honest I miss her like anything.
Maybe I'm remembering with rose tinted glasses but we used to laugh so much, we were almost inseperable. When I text her she seldom texts back, if I ask to meet up she says 'yea I'd love to what about this weekend' and I'll say yea let me know when / where and she doesn't text back again .
I know she's got a boyfriend now and seeing how me and her were at times 'friendly' ( fond teenage memories) maybe he/she sees me as a threat, an unwelcome one at that. I really just wanna give her a hug and catch up and make sure this new fella is good enough for her.
I remember one time I was in a field and upset someone by accident, I got upset and started crying but all my friends left me except her. You never realise how much your friends are there for you until you're alone at university and nobody is there!
What should I do? I can't be sure whether she's interested in meeting up again or not, because she seems interested, only, just too busy. I've never met her boyfriend and don't know if I turn up at her house whether he'll get really defensive, so not a good move probs.
we went to secondary school together. Haven't seen her in over a year. We were best mates. I was her first kiss. It was all very lovely. But it's very much a case of her going down one path (going work) and me going down another (uni) and to be brutally honest I miss her like anything.
Maybe I'm remembering with rose tinted glasses but we used to laugh so much, we were almost inseperable. When I text her she seldom texts back, if I ask to meet up she says 'yea I'd love to what about this weekend' and I'll say yea let me know when / where and she doesn't text back again .
I know she's got a boyfriend now and seeing how me and her were at times 'friendly' ( fond teenage memories) maybe he/she sees me as a threat, an unwelcome one at that. I really just wanna give her a hug and catch up and make sure this new fella is good enough for her.
I remember one time I was in a field and upset someone by accident, I got upset and started crying but all my friends left me except her. You never realise how much your friends are there for you until you're alone at university and nobody is there!
What should I do? I can't be sure whether she's interested in meeting up again or not, because she seems interested, only, just too busy. I've never met her boyfriend and don't know if I turn up at her house whether he'll get really defensive, so not a good move probs.
0
Comments
My best mate from school went off to a Uni miles from mine, got a new female best friend who he then started going out with, and then realised that he no longer needed me in his life. It was hard to accept and I do still miss him but life goes on. I'm happy.
I dunno, when I talk about her to my other friends they seem to remember her as a bitchy cow, but I knew her better than a lot of them. She wouldn't let anyone get too close incase they hurt her, suffered a lot thru school with her parents splitting and her being the pawn, then her mum seemed to prefer her step-dad to her, didn't make a lot of friends till she met us, and well, she was naive and I may have taken advantage at one point but it made me realise how precious she was.
I dunno, probably best left alone really, she's with her new fella and is well happy they're gonna move in together soon (I sometimes get a small dialogue going, lol) and it's sound, cos she's lovely and she really deserves to be happy and none of the shit that loads of twats put her thru. Some guys once got her to do 'stuff' and were just takin the piss but she just wanted to be loved, and a lot of her friensd thought she was a slut for it but I realised she just needed to be hugged and looked after.
p.s. by taken advantage I mean she wanted to be with me but I think that was because she was lonely rather than liked me but I went out with her anyway for a week (all fairly innocent, a small kiss and holding hands), none of this other funny business
p.p.s. why do I care so much?
But I have an exam at 9am tomorrow.
And 9am friday .
But the weekend! FRIEND TIME
Yea, positive mental attitude is the way to go . Cheers loopi! Anytime you need a helping hand, you know where I am. I mean that, as in advice etc. or you know if your ocmputer breaks I can fix them
What makes you think she didn't like you and was just loely, maybe she did? And even if she did only love you as a friend your companionship must have meant a lot to you if she stuck by you that time, especially when your friends walked away.
A lot of people put on a tough front if they've been hurt, but the fact that she let you get close to her and that you saw through a front which others percieved as "bitchy" shows what a kind person you must be and I'm sure that she holds fond memories of you because of that. You never know, maybe you really helped her in some way throughout her life and it was a stepping stone to her happiness.
People do move on and maybe because shehas a boyfriend now she feels awkward about meeting up. Maybe she believes your intentions to be romantic, maybe she doesn't know what her boyfriend might think. Maybe she really is just busy and wouldlove to meet you, but has a lot of commitments.
I think that some people are hard not to care about, when I first moved to university I found it quite difficult to let go of my attachment to people back home. Now I try to hold on to the good memories and the love and inspiration people have brought me and use them to (try) and make myself a better and happier person.
I think it'd be good to make new friends (no idea where you live, but I can imagine London being a bit harder than some places). Are you in university?
So failed that exam this morning btw. :razz:
Well, she did like me, but I felt like a lot of it was gratitude towards my friendship, because I'd been nice to her. A bit more clearheaded today, just got to see what happens really. If we ever meet up again it would be nice just to catch up, but if not well she's doing well for herself and I'm genuinely pleased because she did have a rough time of it.
She was really clever too, and wanted to be an archaoelogist (cant spell) but her mum and step-dad said that going university was stupid. I couldn't persuade her tho, even tho she admitted she would love to go.
I don't know how good an idea it is to meet up, ro be honest. Never go back. If she hasn't moved on from you (if she sees you as a "what if" who went on to better things) then it could open the scab. If she has moved on then things will be awkward.
I think you should try and take the positives forward from her, and not look back to her.
That wasn't a bad result was it? Gonna see if any of my other friends want to come along. I doubt it tho
So in a way it's a shame, because it made me realise the close friendship we had, well, we're not young enough for it anymore. We're both involved with other people and it's not seen as just a cute teenage thing anymore. But I did enjoy her company, and will take her up on her offer to meet her fella who she's chuffed about (but in my opinion, which I kept to myself, from what she's told me he's not that fussed... hasn't seen her in two weeks and doesn't speak to her, doesn't do 'bedroom' stuff anymore and when she asks why he just gets mardy).
Met up with her sister too which was cool, it was just nice to be amongst old company again. A bit strange, like I said, because before we would happily tease each other, before sex was something that you did . I thought to myself afterwards, if I'd have made the moves, she probably would have gone along with it (not being arrogant, I could just tell). I was very disciplined though. But the scary bit is, part of me wanted to be flirty again. Nothing serious or sexual, just like poking her in the ribs and cuddling a bit too close, and of course the classic 'oops I fell into your cleavage'.
But I'm confident if we can develop a new kind of friendship, we'll get along great. But not too great. I know this isn't my livejournal, I dunno, needed to give feedback. It's weird, because part of me was wanting the 'old' me, where I used to joke with girls (mainly her ) about sex and stuff, but never ever did serious stuff. But now we've both grown up, and got partners, it can't be a joke anymore. So in my mind I kept reminding myself of that, and as a result was very restrained and the conversation was very... amicable. Talking about life and stuff. But we got on well anyway. I'm happy the situation I'm in now with my girlfriend and stuff. Just for a few hours made me wonder what life would be like if I was still young . Not that I'm old, just not a teenager anymore. If I say to a girl my age 'ah yea, lets have sex behind the bushes', take her behind some bushes and make exaggerated sex noises, it's not funny anymore.
I hate growing up :grump:. Spose I'm old enough to drive a car though.
Oh also, we went for a drink, then she took out her painkillers (cocodomol) for some health problems. Didn't realise. Was shit scared she was going to faint and die or something.
Weird thing was though... I never once said anything about her smoking, but at the end of the day she said to her sister 'oh yea I'm giving up smoking after this packet' because she knows I'm not too keen on it. She admitted openly in some ways she's a lot closer to me than anyone she's ever known for some reason, like we're strangers to each other but not. A small part of each other's conscience perhaps, without judgement.
It was good to catch up. Regained a little bit of what I like about myself and was proud that I didn't do anything at all that could be classed as unfaithful in any way shape or form. :thumb:
You made me nostalgic for things I did as a young teenager though... And unlike in your case, there's no one I'd like to meet anymore. :grump:
ive been best mates with this girl for years and we were at one point extremly close (with the rib poking and hugs and all that stuff ).anyway i suppose we became so close it was inevitable i would start having feelings for her (as in more than a friend).unfortunately she didnt feel the same and preferred to stay best mates,anyway i still have strong feelings for her but we have become more distant now.which sucks cos i loved being the person she would come and talk to about stuff,she would even talk to me rather than her female mates and that meant a lot to me,anyway i suppose all that stopped when i told her how i felt.we're still great mates but i dont think we will ever be that close again.
not much help i know but i know what its like mate
However, during the course of her phonecall, she said she wanted to come see me at uni for a weekend cos the change of scenery would be nice. I would like to see her but... if she was sleeping over she'd have to sleep in my bed. And that's really a big no-no in a sense because we're both in relationships. But I know we'd not betray our relationships, it's a weird thing going on.
:banghead: It's quite funny how the most obscure facet of your life can exert such a large influence over everything else. If I don't let her come see me, then I feel like I'm letting her down as a friend and would feel rotten, like I was a horrible person. If I do, then I feel like a horrible boyfriend, because it's unfair on my girlfriend to be seeing other girls. Of course, I would tell her about it first, but I know she'd do the meek 'yea of course' and really she'd be worried and it's unfair to put your other half in that position.
The weird thing is though, this friend reminds me of a part of myself that has been a bit absent for a while. Certainly since I found out my girlfriend did the whole cheating thing. (we split, then got back together several months later). But even before then, I dunno... it's brought back a childhood innocence almost. It's good to feel young and carefree again. It's good to giggle!
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
:chin: